If you want to build stronger relationships as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Are you finding yourself stuck in the same old patterns?

Frustrated by the same arguments, the same misunderstandings, the same disappointments? It’s not always a dramatic blowout that signals trouble.

Often, it’s a creeping realization that something’s got to give.

That perhaps the problem isn’t just with your friends, family or partners, but lies in some ingrained behaviors that have overstayed their welcome.

I’m here to guide you through this.

To help you identify those behaviors that are holding back your relationships from reaching their full potential.

It’s time to bid adieu to these habits if we want to cultivate deeper connections as we grow older.

Let’s dive into these 8 behaviors that need to exit stage left. 

1) Letting go of the need to always be right

There’s a certain kind of power that comes with being right, isn’t there?

That smug satisfaction, that ego boost.

But let me tell you, it’s a fleeting pleasure.

Here’s the thing, we all have our own versions of truth shaped by our experiences and perspectives.

Insisting on your “rightness” can often lead to unnecessary conflicts, resentment, and damage relationships in the long run.

If you’re always striving to win arguments instead of solving problems, it’s time to reflect.

Is being right more important than the feelings of the people around you? Is it worth causing a rift in your relationships over?

Let’s strive for understanding over winning.

Let’s encourage open dialogues and respect differing views.

Trust me, it’s a liberating feeling to let go of this need to always be right.

And the bonus? Your relationships will breathe easier too.

2) Putting an end to the blame game

I’ll be honest, this was a tough one for me to shake off. It’s so easy to point fingers, isn’t it?

To shift responsibility and put the blame on someone else.

I remember a specific incident with a close friend of mine.

We’d planned a road trip a few months in advance.

A few days before we were scheduled to leave, my friend had to cancel because of some unexpected work commitments.

I reacted poorly, immediately blaming her for ruining our plans and not prioritizing our friendship.

But upon reflection, I realized that blame wasn’t helping anyone.

It just created tension and made both of us miserable.

Instead of blaming her, I should have empathized with her situation.

Blaming others not only damages relationships but also prevents us from looking inward and acknowledging our own mistakes.

It’s time to say goodbye to this behavior.

When we replace blame with empathy and understanding, it can make a world of difference in the quality of our relationships as we get older.

3) Discarding the habit of constant comparison

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy”.

His words hold a profound truth that I’ve seen play out time and again in my relationships.

When we start comparing our relationships with others, we invite dissatisfaction and discontent into our lives.

It’s like voluntarily walking into a maze of never-ending want and need.

You see your friend’s picture-perfect family on social media and suddenly, your loving and supportive family seems lacking.

You hear about your cousin’s romantic escapades and all of a sudden, your stable and peaceful relationship feels boring.

The truth is, every relationship is unique, with its own strengths and weaknesses.

And the beauty of our relationships lies in their uniqueness.

The sooner we say goodbye to this habit of comparison, the sooner we can start appreciating our relationships for what they are – beautifully flawed and uniquely ours.

4) Kicking the habit of unhealthy communication

Here’s a fact: About 65% of all divorces are caused by communication issues.

That’s a staggering number, isn’t it? And it’s not just about romantic relationships.

Communication is the backbone of all relationships.

So, what is unhealthy communication?

It could be anything from not expressing your feelings, to interrupting others, to using harsh words.

It’s a silent killer, slowly eroding the foundation of your relationships without you even realizing it.

As we grow older, it’s crucial to replace unhealthy communication with open, honest and respectful dialogues.

It can be as simple as saying “I feel” instead of “You always”, or actively listening when someone else is speaking.

Kicking this habit is like giving your relationships a new lease of life.

So let’s start communicating better.

After all, it’s through our words and actions that we show others how much we value them.

5) Overcoming the fear of vulnerability

This one, my friends, is a game-changer.

We’ve talked about communication, about understanding, about empathy.

But all these are hollow if we don’t let ourselves be vulnerable.

It’s human nature to protect ourselves, to build walls around our hearts.

We fear judgment, rejection, and getting hurt. But while these walls may keep us safe, they also keep us isolated.

True connection happens when we allow ourselves to be seen, really seen by others.

When we share our fears, our dreams, our failures and triumphs.

It’s scary, I know. But it’s also incredibly liberating.

As we grow older and wiser, let’s have the courage to be vulnerable.

To share our authentic selves with the people around us. It’s a risk, yes.

But it’s a risk worth taking for stronger, deeper relationships.

6) Bidding farewell to grudges

Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy backpack everywhere you go.

It weighs you down, makes you bitter, and hampers your ability to form new, healthy relationships.

I’ve seen it play out in my life and the lives of others.

A friend who can’t forgive a past wrong, an aunt who can’t let go of an old family feud.

The grudges they hold poison their relationships and prevent them from moving forward.

As we grow older, we realize that life is too short to hold onto grudges.

We understand that forgiveness is not just about the other person but about freeing ourselves from the burden of resentment.

Let’s choose to let go of the grudges we’ve been holding onto.

It’s not easy, I know, but it’s a crucial step towards building stronger relationships.

7) Saying no to selfishness

Relationships, at their core, are about giving and taking.

It’s a delicate balance, and when it tilts too much in one direction, it can cause friction and dissatisfaction.

We all have those moments when we act selfishly.

It could be taking more than giving in a relationship, prioritizing our needs over others consistently, or not being considerate of others’ feelings.

And while it’s okay to look after our own needs, constant selfish behavior can strain our relationships over time.

As we get older, we need to become more aware of this behavior and work towards creating a balance.

Let’s ensure we give as much as we take.

Let’s make sure our relationships are not one-sided.

Remember, a relationship is not just about you or me; it’s about us.

It’s about mutual respect, understanding, and support.

And saying goodbye to selfishness is a step towards achieving this.

8) Letting go of unrealistic expectations

This one’s a biggie. We all have expectations in our relationships.

It’s natural to want certain things from the people we’re close to.

But when these expectations become unrealistic, they can cause significant strain on our relationships.

We’ve all been guilty of this at some point in our lives.

Expecting our partners to read our minds, or our friends to always be available, or our family members to react in a certain way.

But here’s the reality – people are not perfect, and neither are relationships.

As we grow older, it’s vital to let go of these unrealistic expectations.

To understand and accept that people can’t always meet our needs or fulfill our desires.

This acceptance is not about settling for less but about appreciating what we have.

Let’s strive for understanding over expectations.

Let’s appreciate the people in our lives for who they are, rather than who we want them to be.

After all, true love and friendship lie in accepting each other, flaws and all.

The journey ahead

It’s a fair bet that you recognize yourself in some of these behaviors.

We’re all human, and we’ve all got our quirks and foibles.

But the beauty of being human is our ability to change, to grow, to evolve.

The behaviors we’ve discussed here are not life sentences.

They’re patterns, and patterns can be changed.

It starts with awareness, noticing when these behaviors crop up in our relationships.

Then it’s about making a conscious effort to change these behaviors – one small step at a time.

This journey won’t be easy. There will be setbacks, moments of doubt, times when it feels easier to slip back into old habits.

But hold on to the knowledge that on the other side of this journey lies deeper, more fulfilling relationships.

Let’s remember what Carl Jung once said – “The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

It’s this transformation that we’re striving for, a transformation that leads to healthier, stronger relationships as we age.

So, let’s move forward with courage and conviction.

Let’s say goodbye to these behaviors and hello to a new chapter of meaningful relationships in our lives.