If you want to feel more appreciated as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 subtle behaviors

Ever feel like your self-worth is as fickle as a housecat’s mood?

One minute, you’re on top of the world after a compliment; the next, you’re feeling like a ghost in your own life.

As we age, this emotional rollercoaster can get even wilder. Our actions and attitudes can either make us feel like a million bucks or like we’re invisible.

Want to feel more valued in your golden years?

Let’s ditch some of those habits that might be dragging you down.

1) Minimizing your achievements

Ever noticed how we love to play down our successes?

We do something amazing, someone gives us a pat on the back, and we’re quick to say, ‘Oh, it’s nothing special.’ It’s like we’re allergic to praise!

As we get older, this habit can really bite us in the butt. If we don’t appreciate our own achievements, why should anyone else? Plus, it sends a message that our hard work isn’t worth much.

Next time someone compliments you, instead of deflecting, try saying, ‘Thanks! I put a lot of effort into that.’

2) Constantly saying yes

Now, this is a behavior I personally struggled with for a long time.

You see, I used to be a chronic over-committer, always saying yes to everything. My thought process was, if I keep everyone happy and avoid conflict, I’ll be more appreciated.

People started to take my help for granted. My inability to say no led others to expect me to always be available and accept any request, no matter how unreasonable.

The moment of truth came when I was utterly exhausted and still said yes to a friend who needed help moving, even though I was in desperate need of rest myself. I ended up getting sick and it was a wake-up call.

From then on, I started setting boundaries and saying no when necessary. It felt uncomfortable at first, but it made a world of difference in how people respected and appreciated my time and effort.

3) Neglecting self-care

We often treat self-care like it’s a spa day—a nice-to-have luxury rather than a must-do necessity. We push ourselves to the limit, thinking that’s the secret recipe for success and being valued by others.

The World Health Organization actually lists burnout as an occupational phenomenon. Yep, burnout is officially recognized and is directly tied to chronic stress at work that’s been left to simmer for too long.

What’s this got to do with feeling appreciated as you get older?

Well, when you keep putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own, burnout isn’t just a possibility—it’s practically a guarantee. And when you’re burnt out, you’re not just tired; you’re running on empty.

That means your performance slips, and suddenly, all those contributions you’re making might start going unnoticed or, even worse, undervalued.

4) Avoiding confrontation

Nobody likes conflict, right? It’s uncomfortable and sometimes downright scary. So, we avoid it.

We bite our tongue when we should speak up. We accept things we’re not okay with. This behavior might seem like a peacekeeping strategy, but it’s a surefire way to feel underappreciated.

When you don’t express your feelings or stand up for yourself, people might not realize they’re treating you poorly. They might not know your boundaries or understand what you need to feel appreciated.

Don’t shy away from confrontation. Express your feelings respectfully and assertively. Stand up for yourself when necessary.

5) Over-apologizing

This is a habit I’ve noticed in myself and many others. We say “I’m sorry” when we don’t need to, like when we ask a question, express an opinion, or even when someone else bumps into us!

Why do we do this? Well, we often use “sorry” as a way to be polite or to avoid conflict. But over time, this behavior can undermine our self-confidence and make us feel less appreciated.

When I realized I was over-apologizing, I made a conscious effort to replace “sorry” with “thank you”. Instead of saying “I’m sorry for asking”, I would say “Thank you for your patience”.

This small change made a big difference in how I viewed myself and how others perceived me.

6) Trying to please everyone

It might seem like the more people you make happy, the more appreciated you’ll feel.

But in reality, this isn’t always the case.

When you bend over backwards to please everyone, you can lose sight of your own needs and desires. And ironically, people may start taking your efforts for granted, leading you to feel underappreciated.

Instead of trying to be everyone’s hero, focus on maintaining a balance between meeting others’ expectations and prioritizing your own needs.

The right people will appreciate you for who you are, not for what you do for them.

7) Not setting personal boundaries

Boundaries are like a fence around your property: they keep out unwanted intruders. But sometimes, we’re afraid to put up that fence because we don’t want to seem mean or selfish.

Without boundaries, people can walk all over you. And when that happens, you end up feeling resentful and unappreciated.

Setting boundaries isn’t about being difficult; it’s about self-respect. When you respect yourself, others are more likely to follow suit.

8) Not expressing your needs

This is key. If you don’t communicate what you need to feel appreciated, it’s unlikely others will just guess.

Many of us hesitate to express our needs, fearing we might come off as needy or demanding. But clear communication is crucial for any healthy relationship.

Be honest with others about what you need to feel valued and appreciated. Whether it’s more recognition at work, more help around the house, or just someone to listen when you need to talk.

Embracing the journey of self-value

Keep in mind, letting go of these subtle behaviors is not a sign of selfishness or pride. It’s about recognizing your own worth and the value of your contributions.

As the famous psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” This journey towards self-awareness and self-value is a continuous process filled with growth and self-discovery.

Take stock of these behaviors and reflect on how they may be affecting your sense of appreciation. Then, make the necessary adjustments, one step at a time..