If you want to feel more respected and admired as you get older, say goodbye to these 7 habits

Growing older often comes with wisdom, but not always respect and admiration. The key difference lies in your habits.

Certain habits tend to hold you back and diminish the respect others have for you. It’s not about changing who you are, but rather refining your actions and behavior.

If you want to feel more valued as you age, there are some habits you should consider dropping.

In this article, I will share the seven habits you need to say goodbye to if you want to feel more respected and admired as you get older. Trust me, it’s worth the effort!

1) Being judgmental

As we age, it’s easy to critique the decisions and actions of younger generations. After all, we’ve lived through similar stages and learned some hard lessons.

But being constantly judgmental tends to distance others and paints us as closed-minded. It’s not a habit that encourages respect, admiration, or connection.

In fact, psychologist Dana Harron writes, “Judgmentalism destroys relationships. If you are better than someone, you are apart from them. You are above them, not beside them—and so nobody is beside you.”

Adopting a more open mindset can bridge this gap. We can share our experiences and knowledge without making others feel inferior or wrong.

Everyone is just navigating their own journey in life. Showing understanding and acceptance instead of judgement can be a powerful way to gain respect and admiration as you get older.

2) Being unresponsive

I’ll share something personal. For years, I was the kind of person who would take days, sometimes weeks, to reply to messages and emails. I justified it with my busy schedule, thinking people would understand.

But over time, I realized this habit was harming the respect others had for me. It gave an impression of disinterest and unreliability, neither of which are traits that inspire admiration.

As I got older, I made a conscious effort to change this. I started replying promptly, even if it was just to acknowledge receipt and promise a more detailed response later.

This simple change made a significant difference. I could sense a shift in how people perceived and respected me. It made me realize the importance of being responsive and respectful of others’ time.

If you’re also in the habit of delaying responses, it might be time to reconsider. Prompt responses show that you value others and their time, which can boost their respect and admiration for you.

3) Living in the past or future

As we age, it’s easy to get caught up in nostalgia or worry about the future. This can lead to a lack of presence in our interactions, which can be felt by those around us.

In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment“, I delve deeper into this topic. The book provides practical ways to cultivate mindfulness, helping you to stay focused on the present.

Mindfulness also helps us be more aware of how we behave towards others. As the Gottman Institute explains:

“Mindfulness practice helps to shift unconscious behaviors that impact your relationships. Since many of your behaviors and responses in relationships are conditioned and habitual, shifting them in positive ways takes more than conscious effort. Mindfulness practice helps to make these shifts.”

In other words, practicing mindfulness doesn’t only improve your own mental health, but also enhances your interactions with others. It leads to more meaningful connections, which can undoubtedly increase the respect and admiration you receive.

4) Avoiding difficult conversations

There was a time when confrontation was my worst enemy. It was easier to stay silent, ignore issues and hope they would resolve themselves. This approach, however, often left others confused or feeling dismissed.

Difficult conversations are a part of life. They’re necessary for clearing misunderstandings, setting boundaries, and maintaining healthy relationships. While they can be uncomfortable, handling them with grace and respect can greatly improve how you’re perceived.

Over the years, I found that addressing issues directly and respectfully improved my relationships. It demonstrated my willingness to resolve conflicts and value others’ perspectives. As a result, people began to respect and admire my courage to tackle tough topics.

If you find yourself constantly avoiding difficult conversations, it might be time to reassess this habit. Embracing these challenging moments can lead to personal growth and increased respect from others.

5) Always trying to please others

It seems counterintuitive, right? You’d think always saying ‘yes’ and trying to make everyone happy would make you more admired and respected. But in reality, this habit can lead to the opposite effect.

According to Pax Family Counseling, “Long term people pleasing leaves folks emotionally exhausted, mentally agitated and at worst they will experience full on burnout.”

Aside from that, it can give an impression that you lack personal boundaries or self-respect.

On the flip side, learning to say ‘no’ when needed shows that you value your own time and needs. This doesn’t mean you become selfish or inconsiderate. It just means you understand the importance of balance.

Saying ‘no’ can be difficult, especially if you’re used to always pleasing others. But it’s a crucial part of gaining respect and admiration. People tend to respect those who respect themselves.

It’s okay to prioritize yourself sometimes, and doing so might just earn you more respect and admiration as you get older.

6) Neglecting personal growth

As we age, it’s easy to fall into the trap of complacency, thinking we’ve learned all there is to know. But personal growth should be a lifelong journey.

People tend to respect and admire those who continuously strive to learn, improve, and grow. It’s not about being perfect but about recognizing that there’s always room for improvement.

Whether it’s learning a new skill, broadening your knowledge on a certain topic, or working on your emotional intelligence, personal growth can take many forms. It’s about staying curious and open-minded.

So, if you’ve been neglecting your personal growth, it might be time to reignite that spark. Embrace the joy of learning and see how it affects the way others perceive you. You might just find yourself feeling more respected and admired as you continue to grow and evolve with age.

7) Failing to listen

Listening is one of the most powerful ways to gain respect and admiration. It goes beyond just hearing words. It’s about understanding, empathizing, and valuing what others have to say.

In a world where everyone wants to be heard, being a good listener can set you apart. It shows respect for others and their opinions, which in turn can lead to you being more respected and admired.

If you’re not really listening when others speak, it’s time to develop this crucial skill. Remember: sometimes, the most influential person in the room is the one who speaks the least but listens the most.

Final thoughts

Earning respect and admiration as we grow older isn’t just about what we accomplish—it’s about how we carry ourselves and how we treat others.

Letting go of these seven habits creates room for more positive, fulfilling behaviors that naturally inspire respect.

Small changes, like showing kindness, being more present, and embracing humility, send powerful messages about your character and integrity.

As you move forward, remember that respect isn’t something we demand—it’s something we cultivate by consistently acting in ways that uplift both ourselves and those around us.