If you want to have a more attractive personality, say goodbye to these 9 behaviors

Have you ever met someone whose personality just draws people in? It’s not about looks or status—it’s something deeper.

They’re easy to talk to, fun to be around, and leave you feeling good after every interaction.

The truth is, having an attractive personality isn’t about being perfect; it’s about how you carry yourself and how you treat others.

But sometimes, we hold onto habits or behaviors that unknowingly push people away. These can be small things, but over time, they can make a big difference in how others perceive us.

If you’re ready to level up your personality and make a lasting impression, it’s time to leave these nine behaviors behind.

1) Being quick to judge others

Here’s a behavior that can really put a damper on your attractiveness — being overly judgmental.

And I’m not talking about having an opinion or forming a conclusion based on facts. We all do that.

But when we too quickly label people, situations, or ideas without giving them a fair shot? That’s being judgmental.

It can be off-putting and create unnecessary barriers between you and others. After all, who wants to be around someone who is constantly passing judgement?

Let’s face it, it’s not easy to stop being judgmental overnight. However, recognizing this behavior is the first step towards changing it.

By cultivating a more open mindset and taking the time to understand others, we can make our personality more attractive both to ourselves and the people around us.

It’s about creating space for empathy and understanding. And that’s an attractive trait to have, don’t you think?

2) Constantly complaining

Did you know that constant complaining can have a negative impact on your brain?

Indeed, it’s a well-documented psychological concept known as “neuroplasticity“. Essentially, it means that our brains change and adapt based on our experiences and behaviors.

And here’s the kicker: when we constantly complain, we’re training our brain to be more negative.

You see, every time we complain, our brain rewires itself to make this behavior easier and more likely in the future. So the more we complain, the more our brain becomes wired for negativity.

But it doesn’t stop there. Not only does regular complaining make us more prone to negativity, it can also make us less attractive to others.

After all, would you prefer to spend time with someone who’s always complaining or someone who maintains a positive outlook?

The choice seems pretty clear. So, maybe it’s time to rethink those constant complaints.

3) Being too positive

Yes, you read that right. As counter-intuitive as it may seem, being overly positive can actually be a turn-off.

Let me explain.

While it’s important to maintain a positive outlook, striving to be positive all the time can come across as inauthentic. It can make us appear as though we’re out of touch with reality or unwilling to acknowledge life’s challenges.

This is known as “toxic positivity” – the idea that we should always be happy or upbeat no matter what’s happening in our lives.

But here’s the thing, people are drawn to authenticity. They appreciate when you’re able to express a range of emotions and admit that you’re not always okay. It makes you relatable and human.

So while it’s good to be positive, remember that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes too. It makes your personality more genuine, more real, and ultimately, more attractive.

4) Not listening when others are talking

Ever been in a conversation where you’re talking, but the other person is clearly not listening? Frustrating, isn’t it?

Listening is more than just hearing the words that are being spoken. It’s about understanding, empathizing, and showing genuine interest in what the other person is saying.

But sometimes, we may get so caught up in our own thoughts or eager to share our own experiences that we forget to truly listen.

We might interrupt, start formulating responses before the other person has finished speaking, or worse, completely zone out. And trust me, people notice when you’re not really listening.

True listening is a form of respect. It shows that you value the other person’s thoughts and feelings.

And when you’re a good listener, people feel heard and appreciated around you. This can greatly enhance your attractiveness as a person.

5) Always being on your phone

In today’s digital age, it’s easy to get caught up in the world of our smartphones. But excessive phone use can make us less attractive in the eyes of others.

Here’s how:

• It signals a lack of presence: When you’re always on your phone, it gives off the impression that you’re not fully engaged with the people or situations around you.
• It disrupts meaningful connections: Instead of deepening relationships through face-to-face interactions, we get lost in our virtual worlds.
• It can be seen as disrespectful: Continual phone checking during conversations can come across as rude or dismissive.

Your phone is a tool. It’s not a third wheel in your interactions with others. Remember, real life – and real connections – happen off screen.

Making a conscious effort to limit your phone use, especially around others, can make you more attractive and present.

6) Always being in control

Being in control can feel comforting, can’t it? I mean, who doesn’t like knowing exactly what’s going to happen and when?

The problem with that is, always needing to be in control can make us less attractive.

When we’re always in control, we risk coming off as rigid or inflexible. It can also put a strain on our relationships as it doesn’t leave much room for others’ inputs or spontaneity.

In my experience, I’ve found that life is a lot more enjoyable when we allow ourselves to let go a bit. When we stop trying to control every single detail and just go with the flow.

It’s not about giving up responsibility or not making plans. It’s about understanding that we can’t control everything, and that’s okay.

If this is something you struggle with, it’s time to loosen the reins a bit. It can make you more relaxed, more adaptable, and yes, more attractive.

7) Not being open to feedback

Imagine you’ve just finished a big project at work. You’re feeling pretty good about it and then a colleague comes up to you with some constructive criticism. How do you react?

Do you get defensive? Do you immediately dismiss their feedback? Or do you take it on board and see it as an opportunity to learn and grow?

Being open to feedback – even when it’s hard to hear – is an important trait. It shows that you’re willing to learn, grow, and improve. And believe me, that’s always attractive.

But if you’re quick to dismiss or get defensive about feedback, it can make you seem closed off or unapproachable.

So next time someone offers you feedback, try to see it from their perspective. Could there be some truth in what they’re saying? Could their feedback help you grow?

Remember, feedback isn’t about pointing out your flaws. It’s about helping you become the best version of yourself. 

8) Not being authentic

This one hits close to home. I remember a time when I was constantly trying to fit in, molding my personality to match what I thought others wanted me to be.

But as I mentioned earlier, people are attracted to authenticity, not a carefully curated persona. That strategy of mine backfired on me in the end, and I ended up turning people off. 

Being authentic means being true to who you are – your thoughts, your feelings, your values. It means not being afraid to show your true self, even if it’s different from what’s considered “normal” or “popular”.

Pretending to be someone you’re not is exhausting and people can usually see right through it.

On the other hand, authenticity invites connection. It makes people feel comfortable to be themselves around you. And there’s nothing more attractive than that.

So embrace your quirks, your passions, your uniqueness. Because that’s what makes you, you. And you’re pretty awesome just as you are.

9) Not valuing yourself

This is the last, but perhaps the most important point: valuing yourself.

If you don’t value yourself, how can you expect others to?

It’s pretty simple: we teach people how to treat us by the way we treat ourselves.

If you’re constantly putting yourself down, dismissing your achievements, or not giving yourself the respect you deserve, it can affect how others perceive you.

Remember, self-respect and self-love aren’t about arrogance or thinking you’re better than others. It’s about knowing your worth and not settling for less than you deserve.

And when you value yourself, it radiates outward. People can sense it. It makes you more confident, more assertive, and yes, more attractive.

So, what’s holding you back?

Developing a more attractive personality isn’t about changing who you are—it’s about letting go of the behaviors that hold you back and embracing qualities that bring out the best in you.

By saying goodbye to these seven habits, you can create deeper connections, build genuine relationships, and leave a more positive impression on the people around you.

Perhaps a good starting point would be to ask yourself these questions:

• What behaviors are serving me well?
• What behaviors might be holding me back?
• How can I be more authentic in my interactions with others?

It’s a journey, not a quick fix. But with a little self-awareness and effort, you’ll find that the changes you make not only improve how others see you but also how you feel about yourself.

After all, the most attractive thing about anyone is being confident, kind, and authentically you.