If you want to raise your child with manners and class, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

My mother always used to gently remind me, “Good manners open doors that the best education cannot.”

As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize just how true that is. But, here’s the real kicker.

Raising a well-mannered child doesn’t happen by accident; it’s the result of intentional parenting and a commitment to letting go of certain behaviors that may hinder progress.

After all, children learn far more from observing your example than from what you simply tell them.

So, you may be wondering, “How can I raise my child with manners and class?”

Well, here’s a sneak peek into what might be holding you back – seven behaviors you need to say goodbye to.

Stay tuned as we dive into each one of them and explore how changing these habits can make a world of difference in your child’s upbringing. 

1) Lack of consistency

Do you find yourself constantly swinging between different parenting styles? One moment you’re the strict disciplinarian, the next you’re the laid-back parent.

Well, here’s the thing.

Children thrive on consistency. It gives them a sense of security, and more importantly, it teaches them about accountability and consequences.

So, if you want your child to grow up with a strong moral compass and class, consistency is key.

Set clear expectations and stick to them, even when it’s tough. This will not only help your child understand the importance of rules but also respect them.

2) Negative reinforcement

I remember when my daughter was around four years old, she had a phase where she would constantly interrupt adults while they were talking.

Naturally, I was mortified by this behavior. I’d scold her every time she did it, hoping it would deter her from doing it again. But surprisingly, the more I scolded, the more she seemed to do it.

One day, I decided to change my approach. Instead of scolding her for interrupting, I started praising her when she waited her turn to speak. I’d say things like, “I noticed how you waited patiently for your turn to talk, that was very respectful.”

And guess what?

The interrupting stopped almost immediately.

This taught me a valuable lesson – the power of positive reinforcement. It’s easy to point out what your child is doing wrong but recognizing and praising what they are doing right can have a much more powerful impact.

3) Getting too caught up in “image”

Here’s a confession. I was once that parent – always worried about what others would think. Every public tantrum or refusal to share was a reflection on me, or so I thought.

But over time, I realized something crucial.

Children aren’t accessories to our social image. They’re individuals learning to navigate the world, and they’re bound to make mistakes along the way.

As parents, it’s our job to guide them through these learning experiences, not berate them for tarnishing our image.

Raising a child with grace and manners primarily involves fostering empathy, respect, and understanding.

If you find yourself more worried about how your child’s behavior reflects on you rather than how it impacts them or others around them, it might be time to reassess your priorities.

4) Overindulgence

In a world of instant gratification, it’s easy to fall into the trap of overindulging our children.

We all want our kids to be happy, right? And what’s the harm in giving them what they want, when they want it?

But here’s a reality check.

Overindulgence can create a sense of entitlement and lack of appreciation – traits that are far from classy.

I’ve learned that saying “no” at the right times can be one of the most powerful tools in teaching manners and class. It teaches children patience, gratitude, and the value of hard work.

Next time your child demands something they want instantly, take a moment. Consider if giving in will truly benefit them in the long run or if it’s merely a quick fix for temporary peace.

5) Not leading by example

Children are like sponges, absorbing everything around them. And who do they spend most of their time observing? You guessed it—us, their parents.

Neuroscientists have found that the brain contains specialized cells called mirror neurons, which activate when we observe others’ actions, enabling us to empathize and imitate their behavior.

This discovery, highlighted in recent research, explains why children naturally mimic their parents’ actions and attitudes.

So, if you’re frequently losing your temper, using harsh words, or demonstrating impoliteness, it’s likely your child will mirror these behaviors.

Raising a well-mannered child starts with embodying those values ourselves—our actions speak louder than any lesson we could preach.

6) Dismissing their feelings

We’ve all been there. Your child is having a meltdown because they can’t find their favorite toy. It’s easy to dismiss this as trivial, but in their world, it’s a big deal.

Here’s what I’ve learned over the years.

Acknowledging your child’s feelings, no matter how insignificant they might seem, is a form of respect. And respect is the cornerstone of class and manners.

By validating their feelings, we teach them empathy – to understand and respect the feelings of others. This simple act can have a profound impact on how they relate to others as they grow.

7) Ignoring the power of communication

Open and honest dialogue is an essential part of raising a child with manners and class.

It’s through these conversations that we impart our values, set boundaries, and resolve conflicts.

When we communicate effectively with our children, we show them respect. We listen to their thoughts and concerns, we explain our decisions, and we apologize when we’re wrong.

This not only teaches them to do the same but also builds a strong foundation of trust and understanding – qualities that are at the heart of true class and manners.

Never underestimate the power of a good heart-to-heart with your child.

It could be the difference between raising a child who merely knows the rules of etiquette and one who truly understands the value of being a respectful and classy individual.