If you want to sharpen your communication skills as you get older, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Whether it’s maintaining meaningful relationships, advancing in your career, or simply expressing yourself with clarity and confidence, how you communicate can significantly impact your quality of life.

But how do we become better communicators? 

Well, most people focus on adding—learning new techniques, phrases, or strategies to improve their interactions. 

However, equally (if not more) important is what you stop doing. Certain behaviors can quietly sabotage your communication skills, making it harder to connect and convey your thoughts effectively.

Today, we’re diving into 7 such behaviors to say goodbye to.

Let’s dive in. 

1) Overcomplicating messages

As we age, we often amass a wealth of knowledge and experience. And sometimes, we tend to overcomplicate our messages with too much information.

This can lead to confusion and misunderstanding. People might struggle to grasp your point, and important details might get lost in the overload of information.

Communication isn’t about showing off how much you know. It’s about conveying your thoughts clearly and succinctly.

Keep your messages simple and direct. Strip away the unnecessary complexities. Stick to the point.

2) Dominating conversations

Do you find yourself talking more than you listen during conversations? 

I get it – maybe you’re eager to share your thoughts or worried the other person might lose interest if you don’t keep the discussion going.

However, if this sounds like you, it’s time to rethink this.

Expert after expert highlights the critical role of listening in effective communication. As Dr. Diana Raab put it in a Psychology Today post, “The importance of listening in interpersonal relationships cannot be overemphasized.” 

People feel valued and understood when they know they’re being truly heard, which strengthens relationships and deepens connections.

Dominating conversations can have the opposite effect, leaving others feeling overlooked or unimportant. It’s not about silencing yourself, but about striking a balance.

To break this habit, practice active listening. Focus on what the other person is saying without interrupting or planning your next response. Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share more. 

The better you listen, the more impactful and meaningful your communication will become.

3) Avoiding digital communication

I might be showing my age here but I recall a time when I was apprehensive about using technology for communication.

Video calls, facetime, social media… it all seemed so complex and unnecessary. I preferred the good old-fashioned face-to-face conversations.

But as my kids moved away and my colleagues started telecommuting, I realized I was getting left behind. My resistance to new forms of communication was distancing me from my loved ones and hindering my professional growth.

So, I decided to (well, I had to) embrace digital communication. I learned how to send emails properly, conduct video calls, and even pick up a trick or two on social media. 

And you know what? It wasn’t as difficult as I thought it would be.

More than that, digital communication opened up new ways for me to connect with people. I could now stay in touch with my kids who lived miles away and participate in work meetings from the comfort of my home.

The point is if you want to stay relevant and improve your communication skills as you age, let go of the fear of digital communication. Embrace new technologies and use them to your advantage. Trust me, it’s worth it.

4) Ignoring non-verbal cues

Communication isn’t just about words. In fact, some experts suggest that a whopping 55% of our communication is non-verbal – things like facial expressions, posture, and gestures,

Ignoring these non-verbal cues can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for deeper connection. For example, if someone is crossing their arms and avoiding eye contact, they may be feeling defensive or uncomfortable, even if their words say otherwise.

Pay attention to your body language too. Are you maintaining eye contact? Are your arms open or closed?

5) Dismissing others’ perspectives

Imagine how it feels when someone dismisses your thoughts or feelings. It’s not pleasant, right?

All of us have unique experiences and perspectives. When we dismiss others’ viewpoints, we not only hurt their feelings but also miss out on learning something new.

Open-mindedness is a cornerstone of effective communication. It’s about acknowledging that our way isn’t always the only or the best way. It’s about understanding that everyone has a right to their perspective.

As we age, it’s easy to get set in our ways. But this rigidity can be a barrier to effective communication.

6) Avoiding difficult conversations

This one hits pretty close to home for me. 

There was a time when I would do anything to avoid having a difficult conversation. The fear of conflict, of making things uncomfortable, was overwhelming. I would rather keep my feelings bottled up than face a possible argument.

But, over time, I realized that avoidance wasn’t helping. It was only creating resentment and misunderstanding. I was not being true to myself or being fair to the other people involved.

So, I decided to face these conversations head-on. Yes, it was challenging and uncomfortable, but it also led to growth and better understanding. It improved my relationships in ways I hadn’t imagined.

The point is that if you want to sharpen your communication skills as you get older, don’t shy away from difficult conversations. They’re a part of life and an opportunity for growth. 

7) Using negative language

Last but not least, the words we use carry weight.

Negative language can create a pessimistic atmosphere and discourage open communication. Phrases like “I can’t”, “It’s impossible”, or “You’re wrong” can shut down conversations and create barriers.

On the other hand, positive language encourages dialogue and collaboration. It creates an environment where ideas can flourish, and problems can be solved.

Instead of saying “I can’t”, try “I’ll find a way”. Instead of “It’s impossible”, consider “Let’s look for alternatives”. Rather than “You’re wrong”, how about “Let’s look at it from a different perspective”?

The heart of the matter

Improving your communication skills doesn’t require a complete overhaul—it starts with recognizing and letting go of habits that hold you back. 

By simplifying your messages, listening actively, embracing new technologies, and paying attention to both words and actions, you can connect with others more effectively and meaningfully.

Start small, stay consistent, and watch how these changes elevate your relationships, career, and overall quality of life.