If you want your children to always admire you, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Many parents struggle to find a balance between being authoritative and respected as good parents, and simply being their child’s best friend, someone they can confide in and goof around with.

It’s a thin line.

This line is often drawn by the behaviors you exhibit.

Some behaviors may seem harmless, but they could be driving a wedge between you and your child’s admiration for you.

The key to earning and keeping your child’s respect isn’t about being flawless, but rather acknowledging when you’ve made a mistake and taking steps to rectify it.

And trust me, there are certain behaviors that are surefire ways to lose that admiration.

But don’t worry—this is what we will cover in this article. 

By saying goodbye to these 7 behaviors, you’re taking a big step towards keeping your child’s admiration intact.

1) Losing your temper

It’s no secret that parenting can be a stressful job.

At times, the pressure can mount, leading us to lose our cool.

But when we lose our temper in front of our children, it can have damaging effects.

Children look up to their parents as role models and losing your temper frequently sends them a message that this is an acceptable way to handle stress and conflicts.

Keeping your cool, on the other hand, teaches them about patience, understanding and managing emotions.

It shows them that even in stressful situations, it’s essential to stay calm and composed.

You can explain to them how you do it—perhaps it is a breathing technique, or maybe you go to another room when you feel like you’re losing control over your reactions so you can calm down and recollect yourself. 

If you want your children to always admire you, leading by example in managing your temper is a good place to start.

2) Being dismissive

One behavior I’ve personally had to work on is being dismissive.

When my daughter was younger, she would come to me with stories about her day or ideas she had.

Often, I was busy with work or house chores, and I’d dismiss her conversation as unimportant, telling her “Not now” or “Maybe later”.

Over time, I noticed a decrease in her enthusiasm to share her thoughts with me.

It took a while for me to realize that my dismissive behavior was pushing her away.

It was a wake-up call.

I decided to make a change—to be more present and attentive when my daughter wanted to talk. Since then, our relationship has improved significantly.

When you’re careful not to be dismissive of your child’s thoughts and feelings, you show them that their opinions are valued and important.

This not only strengthens your relationship but also fosters self-confidence in them.

And when they feel valued and noticed, seeing that even if you’re busy, you still are open to receiving them—their admiration for you grows. 

3) Breaking promises

A broken promise can feel like a betrayal, especially to a child.

When we promise something to our kids, they hold onto it with absolute trust.

Did you know that by the tender age of three, children begin to develop an understanding of promise commitments?

They start grasping the concept that a promise is a social contract that should be honored.

So, when a parent continuously breaks promises, it shakes their trust and respect.

It’s crucial to keep your word or avoid making promises that you’re not sure you can keep.

If the latter is the case, explain to your child why you can’t make the promise—it will also be a great lesson about honesty and integrity. 

Committing to this can significantly impact the way your child perceives you and can help maintain their admiration for you.

4) Neglecting self-care

As parents, we often put our children’s needs before our own.

While this is commendable, it’s essential not to neglect self-care.

When we disregard our own physical and mental health, it can cause stress and exhaustion, which can affect our ability to parent effectively.

Moreover, your children are watching and learning from your behavior.

By taking care of yourself, you’re teaching them the importance of self-love and self-respect.

Seeing how your daily choices impact your overall well-being and ability to interact with them, they will begin admiring you for your ability to slow down and enjoy your relaxing time.

5) Comparing them to others

I remember when my son started playing soccer.

He was not the best on the team, and I, wanting him to improve, would often compare him to other kids.

“Look at how well Jack handles the ball,” I’d say, or “Why can’t you score goals like Emily?”

What I didn’t realize then was that these comparisons were doing more harm than good.

Instead of motivating him, they were hurting his self-esteem and making him feel inadequate.

Over time, I learned to encourage his efforts and celebrate his progress, no matter how small.

This shift in approach boosted his confidence and he started enjoying the game more.

Comparing your child to others is a behavior that needs to go.

Each child is unique and has their own pace of learning and growing.

Of course, it’s essential to guide your child and encourage improvement, but it should never come at the cost of celebration of their little victories.

6) Being overly critical

Feedback is fundamental for growth, but there’s a difference between constructive criticism and being overly critical.

Constantly criticizing your child can lead to feelings of worthlessness and insecurities.

It can also harm the child-parent relationship, as the child may start to fear making mistakes or trying new things.

Instead of focusing on what your child did wrong, try to highlight what they did right and how they can improve in other areas.

If you feel capable, you can offer your support in finding out solutions to their challenges, either utilising your own knowledge and experience (if relevant) or sitting down with your child to brainstorm, research, and explore other potential solutions. 

Remember, the goal is to guide and support your child’s development, not to tear them down.

When a child feels supported by you, they’ll admire you as their solid rock foundation upon which they can grow daringly and beautifully. 

7) Not respecting their boundaries

The most crucial point to understand is that children, like adults, need their personal space and should have their boundaries respected.

Invading your child’s privacy or disregarding their personal boundaries can lead to feelings of mistrust and resentment.

Just because they are young does not mean their feelings or privacy are any less important.

It can be difficult to some parents who feel the need to control their children in order to protect them.

It’s worth exploring your motivation either by yourself or in therapy (if it gets challenging for both you and your child) to ensure you’re not sabotaging this tender relationship. 

Teaching your children about boundaries and respecting their personal space will foster a sense of security and trust in your relationship, a key factor in maintaining their admiration for you.

The heart of the matter

At the end of the day, it all boils down to love and respect.

Children are not just extensions of us, but individual beings with their own minds, emotions, and boundaries.

Respecting these is fundamental to earning their admiration.

One of the most significant gifts you can give your child is the ability to be self-reliant and independent.

This comes from a place of empathy and understanding, not control or manipulation.

I know, it can be challenging to accept that your child is free to do whatever they please—even if it’s harmful or dangerous.

But isn’t it something that you, too, have done when you were a child or a teenager? And didn’t it help you to grow or to learn more about life and yourself? How did your parents react to your choices? What caused you to admire them? 

Reflecting on your own past can often offer guidance in navigating the complicated but beautiful task of parenting.

These 7 behaviors we’ve discussed are not just about avoiding certain actions; they’re about fostering an environment that promotes respect, trust, and understanding.

The journey of parenthood is filled with learning and unlearning.

But as long as we’re willing to reflect, adapt, and grow along with our children, we’re on the right path.

Remember, when our actions come from a place of love and respect, admiration naturally follows!