If you want your children to treat you with more respect, say goodbye to these 7 behaviors

Picture this: You ask your kid to clean up their room, and instead of rolling their eyes or ignoring you, they actually listen—and maybe even say, “Sure!”

Sounds nice, right? But if that feels far from reality, don’t worry. 

You’re not alone. Sometimes, without meaning to, we parents do things that make respect harder to build. 

The good news? A little self-awareness can go a long way.

In this article, we’ll dig into seven common habits that might be creating a gap between you and your kids. 

By making a few adjustments, you’ll be on the path to a stronger, more respectful relationship with them.

1) Dictating instead of discussing

It’s no secret that we parents are often seen as the ultimate authority. We make the rules, set the boundaries, and expect our children to follow them, no questions asked.

Here’s something you might not have considered, though.

While this might seem like an effective way to maintain control, it can inadvertently foster resentment and rebellion in your children.

When we dictate, we take away their agency. We make them feel unheard and insignificant, which can lead to feelings of disrespect.

What’s the alternative?

Try discussing instead of dictating. Encourage open dialogue and listen to their perspectives. You might be surprised by their maturity and insight.

And the bonus?

Involving them in decision-making not only shows respect for their opinions but also fosters a sense of responsibility and ownership. It’s a win-win situation.

2) Losing your cool

Let’s face it — we’ve all had those days when our patience wears thin, and we lose our temper.

I remember one particular incident that still makes me cringe a little. It was a hectic morning, and I was trying to get my son ready for school. He was taking his sweet time, completely oblivious to my mounting stress. In the heat of the moment, I snapped and yelled at him.

The look on his face? Heartbreaking.

I immediately regretted my outburst. Not only had I failed to solve the problem, but I had also damaged my relationship with my son, even if just a little.

Losing your cool can be incredibly detrimental. It shows your children that you’re unable to handle stress constructively, and it can create an environment of fear and anxiety.

What should you do instead?

Take a deep breath. Step back. Calm down. And then address the issue at hand. Respect is a two-way street. If you want your children to respect you, you need to demonstrate respect towards them as well.

3) Not admitting when you’re wrong

Truth be told, I’ve been guilty of this, too.

As parents, we often feel the need to uphold this image of infallibility. We think that admitting our mistakes will make us appear weak or undermine our authority. 

There’s this pressure to always seem like the one who has it all together, the one who knows best.

But the truth is, refusing to own up to mistakes doesn’t protect your authority—it weakens it.

Kids are more perceptive than we give them credit for, and they can spot when you’re deflecting or avoiding responsibility.

When you don’t admit when you’re wrong, you’re essentially teaching your children that accountability isn’t important. Over time, this can create resentment or a lack of trust in the relationship.

On the other hand, owning up to your mistakes shows humility and sets an example of how to handle slip-ups with integrity. 

Our children look up to us not because we are perfect, but because we are real. They value honesty and authenticity more than an illusion of perfection. And when you model that, your kids are far more likely to treat you—and others—with respect.

4) Disregarding their privacy

Let’s be honest, it can be tempting to snoop around in your child’s life, especially as they grow older and more independent. 

Your curiosity may lead you to invade their privacy – reading their diary, snooping through their phone, or intruding on their personal conversations.

But before you do that, you might want to consider the consequences first. 

In a nutshell, it breaks trust. Your child may feel violated and disrespected, leading to a strained relationship.

If you want your children to respect you, respect their privacy. Show them that you trust them to make the right decisions.

Keeping the lines of communication open can be more effective than any amount of snooping. Encourage your children to share their lives with you on their terms.

5) Not following through on your promises

Parents who constantly keep their promises have children who are more likely to do the same. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

When we make a promise to our children, it creates an expectation. They look forward to it. They trust us to keep our word.

What happens when we break that promise?

Disappointment. Resentment. And over time, a diminishing respect.

Keeping your promises isn’t just about making your children happy. It’s about showing them that you’re reliable and trustworthy. That your word holds value.

Your actions speak louder than words. And they dictate the level of respect your children have for you.

6) Neglecting to show empathy

Imagine this: Your child comes home from school, upset about a disagreement with a friend. You might be inclined to dismiss it as ‘kids being kids’ or tell them to ‘brush it off’.

While your intention might be to toughen them up, what your child hears is that their feelings don’t matter.

Over time, this lack of empathy can create a disconnect, making them less likely to open up to you in the future.

Showing empathy doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything your child feels—it’s about acknowledging their emotions and offering support.

A simple “That sounds really tough, do you want to talk about it?” can go a long way.

When kids feel understood, they’re more likely to respect and trust you.

By taking the time to show empathy, you’re not just validating their experiences—you’re also strengthening your bond and modeling the importance of compassion in relationships.

7) Failing to lead by example

Here’s the bottom line.

Your children are always watching, always learning from you. They pick up on your habits, your behaviors, and your values.

If you want your children to respect you, show them what respect looks like. Treat them with kindness, listen to their opinions, and acknowledge their feelings.

But don’t stop there.

Show respect to others as well – your spouse, your neighbors, the cashier at the grocery store. Your actions will teach them more about respect than any lecture ever could.

The best way to teach respect is to embody it.

The final takeaway

If you’ve found yourself nodding along to these points, it might be time to reflect.

Here’s the silver lining – recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards change.

With conscious efforts, these roadblocks can be turned into stepping stones towards a better parent-child relationship. The essence lies in balance, empathy, and respect.

Begin by acknowledging instances where these behaviors emerge. Notice when you dictate instead of discussing, or dismiss instead of empathizing. Be mindful of times when you fail to lead by example or break promises.

Once these patterns are visible, it becomes easier to pause and reassess.

Ask yourself – am I respecting my child’s feelings and perspective? Am I setting a good example? Am I treating my child the way I want them to treat me?

Transforming these behaviors won’t happen instantly. It takes time, patience, and consistency.

Every small step you take towards becoming a better parent adds up. Each moment of self-awareness, each conscious decision to change, fosters respect and strengthens your relationship with your child.

So be patient with yourself on this journey. Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. And remember, every day brings a new opportunity to be the best parent you can be for your child.

In the end, it’s about nurturing a relationship based on mutual respect and love. And that’s something worth striving for.