If you want your partner to respect and admire you, say goodbye to these 8 habits

What if I told you that your habits could be the reason why your relationship is lacking respect?

I’ve seen it both in my own relationships and in the lives of countless couples I’ve worked with. It’s often not the big things that mess with respect—it’s the little things that we don’t even realize are doing the damage.

In this article, I’m sharing 8 habits I’ve learned to let go of to build a stronger, more respectful relationship.

Let’s take a look at how these subtle changes can make a huge impact.

1) Unnecessary criticism

Constructive criticism is one thing, but constant nitpicking is another.

We all have our quirks and odd habits that make us who we are.

And while it’s healthy to communicate about things that truly bother you, constant criticism can erode the respect and admiration your partner has for you.

In fact, Dr. John Gottman says that constant criticism is one of ‘The Four Horsemen,’ behaviors that kill a relationship.

Why?

Becoming a critic of every little thing your partner does not only makes them feel less valued but also creates an environment of negativity.

So let’s say goodbye to unnecessary criticism and focus on building each other up instead.

Choose your battles wisely. If it’s not a deal-breaker, sometimes it’s better to let the small things slide.

2) Lack of appreciation

As someone who’s been in the relationship arena for a while, I can tell you that appreciation is a game-changer.

When we’re caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to forget to show gratitude for our partners.

We take the little things they do for granted, and over time, this can lead to feelings of being undervalued.

What’s more, research shows that expressing gratitude releases oxytocin, (the “love hormone”) which fosters a stronger connection and bond between two people.

So unwrap that gift of appreciation. Start by acknowledging the small things – a cooked meal, a clean house, or just their presence when you’re having a bad day.

By saying goodbye to the habit of lack of appreciation, you’re not only making your partner feel valued but also fostering respect and admiration in your relationship.

3) Codependency

Now, this is a big one. Being in a healthy relationship doesn’t mean losing your individuality.

I’ve seen countless couples, who start off great, but with time, they lose their sense of self and become overly dependent on each other.

Codependency can lead to an unhealthy attachment where you rely on your partner for your happiness and validation.

And trust me, this can be detrimental to the respect and admiration in your relationship.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into this topic and provide insightful ways to maintain your individuality while being in a loving relationship.

So let’s bid farewell to codependency and embrace healthy independence – it’s a surefire way to keep the spark of respect and admiration alive.

4) Always agreeing

This might sound counterintuitive, but always agreeing with your partner isn’t necessarily a good thing.

While it’s important to find common ground, being a constant “yes” person can lead to resentment and a lack of respect.

Healthy relationships thrive on authenticity and that includes having your own opinions.

It’s okay to disagree sometimes – it shows that you’re your own person with independent thoughts.

Respect and admiration are not built on compliance, but on mutual understanding and acceptance of each other’s individuality.

So stop always agreeing and start creating an environment where differing opinions are respected and valued.

5) Ignoring self-care

I’ve come across numerous individuals who, in the process of loving their partners, forget to love themselves.

And believe me, it’s a slippery slope.

When you neglect your own needs, it can lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction which can inevitably affect your relationship.

Moreover, taking care of yourself not only boosts your self-esteem but also makes you more attractive to your partner.

It shows them that you respect yourself and in turn, they respect you.

So let’s make a pact to say goodbye to ignoring self-care.

Trust me, your partner will admire you more when they see you taking good care of yourself.

6) Avoiding difficult conversations

Let’s be real. No one likes confrontation. It’s uncomfortable, it’s messy, and sometimes it hurts.

But avoiding difficult conversations?

That’s a habit we need to break if we want to uphold respect and admiration in our relationships.

When we dodge the tough talks, we’re not only burying our feelings but also building walls with our partner.

Over time, these walls can create a distance that’s hard to bridge.

Having those raw, honest conversations allows for understanding, growth, and deeper connection.

It may be tough, but it’s worth it.

7) Neglecting shared interests

As a relationship coach, I’ve noticed that couples who share common interests often enjoy a deeper level of connection.

Having shared interests gives you something to bond over, something to talk about and create memories around.

But as time goes by, we often get caught up in our individual routines and neglect these shared passions.

So make an effort to rekindle shared interests with your partner.

Whether it’s a mutual love for hiking, cooking, or just binge-watching a series together, these shared moments can boost respect and admiration in your relationship.

8) Taking your partner for granted

Now, this one is a hard pill to swallow, but it’s essential.

In the comfort of long-term relationships, it’s easy to start taking our partners for granted.

We assume they’ll always be there, and we stop putting in the effort that we did at the beginning.

But here’s the raw truth – love is not a one-time investment.

It requires constant effort, nurturing, and appreciation.

Taking your partner for granted can slowly chip away at their respect and admiration for you.

So show your partner they matter, every day.

Your actions will speak volumes and keep the respect and admiration thriving in your relationship.

Wrap up

Building respect and admiration in a relationship is a continuous process, and it starts with the small, everyday habits we sometimes overlook.

By letting go of behaviors that unintentionally undermine your connection with your partner, you create space for a stronger, more genuine bond.

From my personal experience and the countless couples I’ve worked with, I’ve seen how these shifts can transform the dynamic of a relationship for the better.

For more insights and guidance on maintaining healthy relationship dynamics, feel free to check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.