If your partner puts work before you, turn to these 10 Christian principles for guidance

Striking a balance between work and relationships can be tough. Especially when your partner seems to prioritize their career over you.

Finding yourself second to a job is never easy. But before frustration takes over, there’s a better way to handle it.

As a Christian, I’ve found solace and guidance in the teachings of the Bible. It’s filled with wisdom on how to navigate such challenges.

In this piece, I’ll share 10 Christian principles that have guided me through this. They may provide the perspective you need to address a partner who prioritizes work over you.

So let’s dive into this journey together and see if we can find the balance we’re searching for.

1) Love is patient and kind

The Bible teaches us, in 1 Corinthians 13:4, that “Love is patient, love is kind”. This principle can be applied when dealing with a partner who prioritizes work over you.

It can be distressing to feel like you’re playing second fiddle to a job. But patience and kindness can go a long way in managing such situations. Instead of reacting with anger or resentment, try to engage your partner with understanding and love.

Remember, everyone goes through phases where certain aspects of life take precedence. It’s essential to approach these periods with patience and kindness, providing room for your partner to navigate their priorities.

However, it’s equally important that this principle doesn’t become an excuse for tolerating neglect. Love should always be reciprocal. Patience and kindness should not translate into accepting continuous disregard for your feelings or needs.

Turning to this Christian principle might help bring balance into your relationship, ensuring that both partners feel valued and respected.

2) Communication is key

In Ephesians 4:25, we’re reminded, “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” This verse highlights the importance of open and honest communication.

I’ve personally experienced how communication can make or break a relationship. When my partner started a new job, he became so engrossed in his work that he barely had time for us. I felt neglected and unimportant.

But instead of letting these feelings fester, I decided to talk to him openly about it. I explained how his constant work was affecting our relationship and me. It was not an easy conversation, but it was a necessary one.

To my surprise, he had no idea his work habits were creating a rift between us. He promised to make changes, and though it took some time, he did make an effort to balance his work and our relationship better.

Honest communication allowed us to address the issue head-on, reinforcing the importance of this Christian principle in maintaining healthy relationships.

3) Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is a central theme in Christianity. In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus teaches us, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

In a relationship where you feel sidelined by your partner’s work commitments, feelings of resentment can easily build up. However, harboring these negative emotions can lead to more harm than good.

The act of forgiveness is not just beneficial for the person being forgiven; it can also bring immense peace and freedom to the one who forgives. A study published in the Journal of Health Psychology found that forgiving others was associated with lower levels of stress and improved mental health.

Utilizing this Christian principle of forgiveness can help curb resentment and encourage open dialogue about your partner’s work habits. It’s important to remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning the behavior but rather choosing to let go of the negative feelings associated with it.

4) Understanding and respect

One of the most profound teachings in the Bible is to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Luke 6:31). This golden rule of treating others the way you want to be treated stands at the core of understanding and respect.

When your partner seems to put work before you, it can be quite hurtful. But it’s crucial to understand their perspective as well. Maybe they’re under pressure to perform, or perhaps they’re trying to secure a better future for both of you.

Understanding doesn’t mean that you have to accept feeling neglected. But it gives you a foundation from which to express your feelings without casting blame.

Respect is equally important. It’s about recognizing the importance of your partner’s career and their need for personal achievement.

Promoting a mutual understanding and respect can help create a balanced relationship where both partners feel valued and acknowledged.

5) Cherish your own value

The Bible tells us in Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” This verse reminds us of the unique value and worth each individual holds.

In a situation where your partner prioritizes work over you, it’s easy to feel undervalued or neglected. However, it’s important to remember your own worth. You should not let someone else’s actions dictate your self-esteem.

Maintaining a strong sense of self-worth is vital for your mental and emotional health. It can help you set boundaries and express your needs more effectively.

Remember, a healthy relationship should enhance your life, not define it. So, always cherish your value and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself when necessary.

6) Seek wisdom in prayer

In times of struggle and confusion, the Bible encourages us to turn to prayer. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

When your partner’s focus on work leaves you feeling neglected and unheard, turning to prayer can provide comfort and clarity. It’s not just about asking for changes in your partner’s behavior or for strength to cope; it’s also about seeking wisdom to understand the situation better and make the right decisions.

Prayer offers a space for reflection and self-examination. It enables us to express our deepest emotions and fears, bringing a sense of peace amidst turmoil.

In these quiet moments of prayer, we often find the wisdom and strength we need to navigate our challenges. So, don’t underestimate the power of turning your worries over to God.

7) The power of fellowship

Hebrews 10:24-25 says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

There was a time when I felt incredibly alone in my struggle with my partner’s workaholic tendencies. I felt like no one else could possibly understand what I was going through.

But then I opened up to my church community about my situation. The support, advice, and understanding I received were invaluable. They encouraged me, prayed with me, and helped me see things from a different perspective.

You don’t have to face these challenges alone. Reach out to your church community or trusted friends. The power of fellowship can provide comfort, wisdom, and strength in times of difficulty.

8) Embrace change

In Ecclesiastes 3:1, we’re reminded, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” This verse underscores the inevitability of change.

In a relationship, changes are inevitable. Whether it’s a new job, a promotion, or a shift in priorities, these changes can sometimes put a strain on the relationship. It’s essential to understand that these changes are often temporary and not a reflection of your worth or the quality of your relationship.

When your partner seems to prioritize work over you, it can be a challenging time. But instead of resisting this change, try to embrace it. Consider it as a phase that will pass and not a permanent state.

Embracing change can help reduce anxiety and foster acceptance. It also opens up opportunities for growth, both individually and as a couple.

10) Love endures

In 1 Corinthians 13:7, the Bible tells us, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” This verse beautifully captures the enduring nature of love.

When your partner appears to put work before you, remember this verse. True love endures through challenges and hardships. It’s not always an easy road, but love has the power to withstand trials and come out stronger on the other side.

This doesn’t mean you should endure neglect or mistreatment. But it means that love, combined with patience, understanding, communication, and respect, can overcome the challenges that life and relationships often throw our way.

Keep love at the center of your relationship. It is the glue that holds everything together even when things get tough.

Final Reflection: Love is a journey

Navigating a relationship where your partner seems to put work before you can be challenging. But it’s essential to remember that love is a journey, not a destination.

In this journey, we often encounter bumps and detours. Sometimes, we might even feel like we’ve lost our way. But as Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”

These 10 Christian principles we’ve explored aren’t just rules to follow; they’re guiding lights to help you navigate through the complexities and challenges of love.

But most importantly, they remind us that love goes beyond feelings. It’s about patience, communication, forgiveness, understanding, respect, self-worth, prayer, fellowship, embracing change, and enduring through tough times.

So as you reflect on these principles, remember that every relationship has its trials. But it’s how we navigate these trials that truly defines our journey of love.