If your partner uses these 8 phrases in a conversation, they don’t support you enough emotionally

Imagine you’ve had a tough day at work, and all you need is a listening ear. But instead of empathy, your partner responds with, “You’re overreacting” or “It’s not that serious.”

Suddenly, what you thought would be a comforting conversation turns into frustration and isolation.

We’ve all been there—caught off guard when a partner’s words make us feel dismissed or invalidated.

While these phrases might seem small, they can signal a deeper lack of emotional support in the relationship.

Recognizing these common yet damaging expressions is crucial because emotional disconnect doesn’t always come from major conflicts. Often, it’s the day-to-day conversations that quietly undermine the emotional foundation of a partnership.

Let’s dive into these eight phrases that might indicate your partner isn’t supporting you enough emotionally.

1) “You’re too sensitive”

Navigating emotional waters can be tricky in a relationship.

One phrase that can be a red flag is when your partner tells you, “You’re too sensitive”. This kind of feedback may indicate a lack of emotional support from your partner.

Why?

Because it’s dismissive.

It invalidates your feelings and experiences, making you feel as if you’re overreacting or being unreasonable.

Emotional support is about validation and understanding, not belittling or dismissing feelings.

We all have different emotional thresholds and what might seem minor to one person can be significant to another. It’s important in a relationship to acknowledge and respect these differences.

2) “I don’t have time for this”

The phrase “I don’t have time for this” can be particularly disheartening to hear from a partner.

In my years of experience as a relationship expert, one thing stands out – relationships need time. It’s about being present, not just physically, but emotionally too.

When your partner claims they don’t have time to discuss your feelings or concerns, it can feel like a direct dismissal of your emotional needs. It sends a message that your emotions are not a priority, which can be quite damaging.

3) “It’s not that big of a deal”

Words can be powerful. When your partner frequently dismisses your concerns with the phrase “It’s not that big of a deal”, it can feel like they’re undermining your emotions.

Everyone has the right to feel what they feel, and in a relationship, it’s crucial for partners to respect each other’s emotions. It doesn’t matter if one person thinks it’s trivial; if it affects the other, it matters.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk about how such dismissive phrases can create an unhealthy cycle of codependency and emotional neglect.

Acknowledging your partner’s feelings and showing empathy is a fundamental part of emotional support in a relationship.

If your partner often uses this phrase, it might be time to discuss how their words affect you and explore ways to improve your emotional connection.

4) “Stop overthinking”

Isn’t telling someone to “stop overthinking” a form of advice?

While it might appear so on the surface, this phrase can actually be a subtle form of emotional dismissal. It’s like saying, “Your feelings and worries are not valid because you’re just thinking too much.”

This approach fails to address the heart of the matter – your feelings and concerns. Instead, it’s an attempt to silence them.

A supportive partner should encourage open communication and help you navigate your feelings, not try to shut them down.

5) “Can’t you just get over it?”

Having been in the relationship space for a while now, one phrase I’ve noted as a potential red flag is, “Can’t you just get over it?”

This phrase can often come across as impatient and dismissive. It fails to acknowledge that people process emotions at different rates.

What one person may move past quickly could take another person more time to process and heal from.

If this phrase is a common response from your partner when you’re facing emotional turmoil, it’s worth addressing how unsupported it makes you feel.

True emotional support involves patience, understanding, and time.

6) “You’re always upset about something”

Let’s get real here. The phrase “You’re always upset about something” can pack a serious emotional punch.

This phrase implies that you’re the problem, that your feelings are a burden. This can leave you feeling guilty for having emotions or concerns, which is not healthy.

Emotions aren’t a negative thing to be avoided, they’re an integral part of our human experience. Being upset or concerned about something isn’t wrong, it’s a natural response to certain situations.

A supportive partner should understand and help you navigate them, not make you feel guilty for having them.

7) “You need to calm down”

As a relationship expert, I’ve often heard people express hurt and frustration when their partner tells them, “You need to calm down”.

This phrase can be very damaging. It implies that your emotions are not valid or acceptable and that you’re not handling the situation well.

It’s another way of dismissing your feelings, rather than addressing them.

In the wise words of psychologist Carl Jung, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” This quote reminds us that it’s crucial to understand and address our emotions, not suppress them.

8) “You’re making a big deal out of nothing”

Let’s be brutally honest here. If your partner often tells you, “You’re making a big deal out of nothing”, it can feel like a slap in the face.

This phrase undermines your feelings and makes you question their validity. It’s as if your emotions and concerns are not important or worth discussing.

In reality, if something matters to you, it should matter to your partner, no matter how trivial it may seem to them. Dismissing your feelings as ‘nothing’ is not supportive; it’s emotionally dismissive.

Conclusion

In a relationship, the words we use can make a world of difference. They can either uplift or undermine, support or dismiss. Being aware of these eight phrases is a crucial step towards understanding if you’re getting the emotional support you need from your partner.

If these phrases are familiar in your relationship, it’s time for a heart-to-heart conversation about your emotional needs. The goal isn’t to place blame, but to work together to build a stronger emotional connection.

For more insights and practical strategies to improve your relationship, do check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s designed to help you navigate these complex emotional dynamics and create healthier, more supportive bonds.

Because at the end of the day, we all deserve to feel emotionally supported in our relationships.

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Tina Fey

Tina Fey

I've ridden the rails, gone off track and lost my train of thought. I'm writing to try and find it again. Hope you enjoy the journey with me.

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