If you’re considering marriage, look out for these 8 Christian values in your partner

Marrying the right person might just be the most important decision we could ever make in life. This choice influences our emotional stability, shapes our life experiences, and deeply affects our spiritual journey.

In the pursuit of a partner, the stakes are high, and the impact is long-lasting.

So what’s the right way to go about it? How can you be sure this person is truly the right one for you?

You’ve probably heard all sorts of advice, like “follow your heart” or “trust your gut”. But sometimes, when it comes to something as important as choosing a lifetime partner, you might need a bit more guidance than that.

This isn’t just about butterflies in your stomach or how they look in the morning light. It’s about shared values and common ground, especially when it comes to faith.

When it comes down to choosing a life partner, aligning on core values isn’t just beneficial—it’s essential.

For those who follow Christian teachings, these values serve as the foundation of not only a loving relationship but also a spiritually fulfilling one.

Here’s what you should look out for if you’re considering marriage and want to make sure these 8 Christian values are present in your partner.

1) Shared faith

One of the most fundamental elements when considering a life partner, especially as a Christian, is shared faith.

Yes, we’re talking about sharing the same beliefs, the same values. This isn’t just about going to church together every Sunday or saying your prayers before bed.

This runs deeper. It’s about having someone who understands and respects your devotion to God, someone who shares your spiritual goals.

When you’re navigating life’s ups and downs, knowing that you both have a similar faith foundation can be a source of great comfort and strength.

It’s not just about believing in the same things, it’s about walking on the same spiritual path.

So if you’re considering marriage, take a good look at your partner’s faith and how they practice it. It should resonate with yours in a way that strengthens not just your relationship with each other, but also your relationship with God.

After all, a love that brings you closer to God is a love worth having.

2) Mutual respect

Next on the list, and closely related to shared faith, is mutual respect.

In a relationship, respect is just as crucial as love. Without it, love can dwindle, leaving you with a hollow shell of what once was.

Let me share something from my own life to illustrate this point.

My husband and I have been married for quite a few years now. We’ve had our fair share of disagreements and arguments, as any couple does. But one thing that has kept us strong throughout is our mutual respect for each other.

Even in the heat of an argument, we make sure to listen to each other’s point of view. We never belittle each other or dismiss the other’s feelings.

We respect each other as individuals, as partners, and most importantly, as children of God.

In a marriage or any long-term relationship for that matter, you need someone who respects you for who you are – your values, your beliefs, your dreams and even your flaws.

So when considering marriage, observe how your partner treats you and others around them. It says a lot about their level of respect for you and for themselves.

3) Unwavering integrity

There’s a quote by Albert Einstein that I always find incredibly insightful when it comes to relationships. He said, “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.”

Integrity is a cornerstone in a Christian relationship. It’s about being honest, reliable, and trustworthy. It’s about being true to your words and promises, no matter how small or big they might be.

Let’s be honest, nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes, and sometimes we even let our loved ones down. But what really matters is how we handle these moments of weakness.

Do we choose to cover up our mistakes with lies or do we take responsibility and strive to make things right?

Your partner’s integrity will shine through their actions, not just their words.

Pay attention to how they handle different situations, how they treat people when they think no one is watching, and how consistent they are with their words and actions.

Integrity is not just about telling the truth but living the truth. In a prospective life partner, this is one Christian value you cannot afford to overlook.

4) Selfless love

In the Greek language, there are several words for love. One of them is ‘Agape‘, which is often used in the Bible to describe a selfless, sacrificial kind of love.

It’s the kind of love God has for us, and it’s the kind of love we should strive for in our relationships.

Marriage is not just about finding the right person, but also about being the right person. It’s about putting your partner’s needs ahead of your own, not out of obligation, but out of genuine love and care.

This doesn’t mean you should neglect your own needs or lose your identity in the process. It simply means that in a healthy and balanced relationship, both partners are willing to make sacrifices for each other’s happiness.

So, as you’re considering marriage, reflect on how selflessly you both love each other. Do you see this ‘Agape’ kind of love in your relationship?

Because this is the type of love that can carry you through the good times and the bad, through sickness and health, till death do you part.

5) Humility

In a world where self-promotion is often celebrated, humility may seem like an underrated virtue. Yet, it’s one of the most important Christian values to look for in a potential spouse.

Humility is not about being weak or letting others walk all over you. It’s about recognizing that we’re all equal in the eyes of God, and that we all have strengths and weaknesses.

It’s about being open to learning and growing, even from our mistakes.

In a relationship, a humble person is one who is always willing to say “I’m sorry” when they’re wrong and “I forgive you” when they’ve been hurt.

They’re not too proud to ask for help when they need it, and they’re always ready to lend a helping hand without expecting anything in return.

So as you’re considering your future spouse, take note of their humility or lack thereof. It’s the humble heart that will keep pride and ego from damaging your relationship in the long run.

6) Gratitude

Gratitude is more than just saying “thank you” when someone does something nice for you.

It’s a way of life, a mindset, a conscious choice to focus on the good and positive things in life, no matter how small or mundane they may seem.

In the context of a relationship, gratitude plays a vital role. It helps you appreciate your partner for who they are and what they bring to your life.

It keeps you from taking them for granted and helps nurture love and respect between you.

Think about it. How often do you express gratitude to your partner? And how often do they express it to you?

It’s the small things like thanking them for cooking dinner, appreciating their support when you’re going through a tough time, or simply acknowledging their efforts in keeping the relationship strong.

If you’re considering marriage, look for this value in your partner. A heart filled with gratitude is a heart that knows how to love and be loved in return.

7) Forgiveness

Let’s face it, we’re all human and we all make mistakes. Sometimes, those mistakes can hurt the people we love the most. That’s where forgiveness comes in.

Forgiveness is a fundamental Christian value. It’s not just about saying “I forgive you”, it’s about letting go of resentment and anger, and choosing love instead.

It’s about giving your partner, and yourself, the chance to learn and grow from those mistakes.

In a marriage, forgiveness is not optional; it’s a necessity. There will be times when your partner disappoints you, or when you disappoint them.

The ability to forgive and move forward is what helps you overcome these obstacles and strengthens your bond.

So, as you consider marriage, consider how you and your partner handle forgiveness. Are you quick to forgive, or do you hold onto grudges? This could be a telling sign of how your future together might look like.

8) Commitment

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, comes commitment. When you’re considering marriage, this is one Christian value that should be at the very top of your list.

Commitment is about more than just saying “I do” on your wedding day. It’s about saying “I will” every single day of your life together. I will love you, I will support you, I will stand by you in good times and bad.

You want someone who will choose you every day, even when the going gets tough. Someone who’ll stick with you through life’s ups and downs, through joys and sorrows, through victories and defeats.

Marriage is a journey, not a destination. And like any journey, it requires commitment to keep moving forward, even when the path gets rocky.

So as you contemplate marriage, take a good look at your partner’s commitment to you, to your relationship, and to your shared faith. It could very well be the compass guiding your journey together.