Men who always shy away from discussing their emotions usually display these 8 behaviors

What are the labels we hear when talking about masculinity? Strength. Stoicism. Independence.

While these traits are often praised, they can come with a hidden cost: the pressure to suppress emotions. Many men avoid talking about their feelings out of fear they’ll be seen as “weak” or “unmanly.”

In fact, 38% of men admit to avoiding emotional conversations for exactly that reason.

But emotional avoidance doesn’t just stay beneath the surface—it manifests in everyday behaviors that can quietly strain relationships and harm mental well-being.

In this article, we’ll reveal 8 key behaviors that signal emotional avoidance, shedding light on how these subtle patterns shape men’s lives and relationships in ways they might not even realize.

1) They have a tendency to isolate themselves

Here’s something we’ve all noticed – men who are reluctant to discuss their emotions prefer their own company.

Don’t get me wrong, enjoying solitude isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, when it becomes a pattern, it’s worth taking note.

See, when emotions are bottled up, they can become overwhelming. And sometimes, the simplest way to avoid dealing with these feelings is by withdrawing from social situations.

This isolation isn’t about being antisocial or aloof. It’s a defense mechanism, a way to avoid situations that might trigger emotional responses that they’re not ready to handle.

2) They exhibit disproportionate reactions

Picture this: a man who is usually calm and reserved suddenly bursts out in anger over a small inconvenience. Sounds familiar?

This is where the concept of emotional displacement comes in.

In simple terms, emotional displacement is when we transfer our feelings from the original source of distress to something or someone else. It’s a typical response when the real issue feels too big or threatening to confront directly.

Here’s the kicker: men who shy away from discussing their emotions are more likely to display this kind of behavior. They might react intensely to unrelated incidents without confronting the true source of their discomfort.

The real issue isn’t the spilled coffee or the missed bus; it’s the unresolved emotions lingering beneath the surface. So, when faced with an overreaction, consider that it could be a reflection of deeper, unspoken feelings.

3) They may seem overly composed

Following on from the point about disproportionate reactions, this next observation might surprise you. Men who hesitate to discuss their emotions can present an image of being excessively calm or composed.

It sounds counter-intuitive, right? But think about it.

Maintaining a facade of complete control is another way of avoiding emotional confrontation. By appearing unflappable, they create a shield that keeps probing questions at bay.

This is not about real serenity or inner peace; it’s more of a self-protection mechanism. It’s putting on an armor to avoid revealing what’s truly going on inside.

4) They engage in destructive coping mechanisms

Ever noticed how some men tend to resort to unhealthy habits when under stress?

This is not a coincidence. When emotions are pushed aside and left unaddressed, they can manifest in various destructive coping mechanisms.

These could range from excessive drinking, overeating, or even obsessive workouts. Anything that can temporarily distract them from the emotional discomfort they’re trying to avoid.

The key word here is ‘temporary’. These habits might offer momentary relief, but they don’t address the root cause – the unexpressed emotions.

5) They exhibit physical symptoms

Here’s the truth: suppressed emotions don’t just disappear. Instead, they often manifest as physical symptoms. This might include:

• Chronic fatigue
• Unexplained aches and pains
• Sleep disturbances
• Decreased immunity

These symptoms are not random. They’re your body’s way of signaling that something’s not right, that there’s emotional distress that needs addressing.

Ignoring these signs can lead to a vicious cycle of emotional suppression and physical discomfort. Recognizing this pattern can be a crucial step toward breaking it.

In the words of Sigmund Freud, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.” Understanding this connection between mind and body is key to healing both.

6) They show a lack of empathy

This is something that comes up frequently. Men who resist discussing their own emotions may find it difficult to empathize with others.

Understanding personal emotions is key to connecting with those around us. It enables us to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and engage on a deeper level.

When emotions go unacknowledged, it becomes harder to appreciate the feelings of others. It’s not a lack of compassion but a disconnect from their own emotional landscape, making it challenging to navigate the emotions of those around them.

To be clear, this isn’t about being cold-hearted. It’s a struggle with emotional awareness—both of the self and of others. As Erik Erikson wisely put it, “The more you know yourself, the more patience you have for what you see in others.” In this way, understanding our own emotions opens the door to truly empathizing with others.

7) They have difficulty forming deep connections

A man with a wide circle of friends, popular at social gatherings, may still struggle to form deep, meaningful connections.

Why does this happen? It could stem from his avoidance of emotional discussions.

Emotional intimacy forms the foundation of any deep relationship, whether romantic or platonic. It requires vulnerability and openness—two things that can be difficult for someone who avoids engaging with their emotions.

This isn’t a question of being incapable of love or friendship; it’s more about the challenge of letting others in. It’s the difficulty of revealing the raw, unfiltered emotions that have been carefully hidden.

When someone struggles to build deep bonds despite their social success, consider this possibility: they might be avoiding emotional discussions, concealing their true feelings behind a wall of superficial interactions.

8) They are overly pragmatic

Here’s a story from my own life. I had a friend who was always the go-to person for practical advice. Need to fix a leaky faucet? He’s your guy. Need help crafting a budget? He’s on it. But try to delve into emotional issues, and he’d quickly steer the conversation back to more ‘practical’ matters.

Men who shy away from discussing their emotions display an overly pragmatic approach to life. They focus on tangible problems that can be solved logically, avoiding the messy, complicated realm of emotions.

It’s not that they don’t care about emotional issues; it’s just that they’re more comfortable dealing with problems they can ‘fix’. Emotional issues, with their inherent ambiguity, can be overwhelming for them.

Brené Brown insightfully points out, “We cannot selectively numb emotions; when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” This highlights how avoiding emotional depth doesn’t just shield them from pain but also dims their ability to fully experience joy and connection.

So if you know someone who always prefers to keep things practical and shies away from emotional discussions, it might be more than just their ‘logical’ nature at play. This could be their way of avoiding the emotional depths they’re not ready to dive into.

What can we do to help?

Understanding these behaviors is just the first step. The next, and perhaps more vital step, is figuring out how we can help. Here are a few suggestions:

• Provide a safe space: Let them know it’s okay to express emotions and that they won’t be judged or ridiculed.
• Practice patience: Change takes time. Don’t rush them into opening up.
• Encourage professional help: Sometimes, professional guidance can be a game-changer. Encourage them to seek therapy or counseling if needed.

We all have men in our lives who may shy away from discussing their emotions. Recognizing these behaviors is crucial, but so is responding with empathy and understanding.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with emotions. And while some may find comfort in expressing them verbally, others may not.

As we navigate this complex emotional landscape, let’s keep in mind that understanding and patience can go a long way in helping those who struggle to express their feelings. After all, isn’t that what empathy is all about?