Sibling relationships are some of the most meaningful—and complicated—connections we have. Here’s the thing – you don’t get to choose your family, but you do get to choose how you interact with them.
Now, we all want a strong bond with our brothers and sisters, but there are certain habits that could be tearing down that connection without us even realizing it.
To help you foster a better relationship with your siblings, I’ve listed 7 things you should stop doing right away.
Trust me, avoiding these actions can make a big difference in promoting harmony within your family.
1) Stop comparing
Here’s a hard truth – comparisons are often the root of sibling rivalry and resentment.
Growing up, it’s easy to fall into the trap of measuring yourself against your brothers and sisters. It’s a competitive world out there, and the pressure to perform can sometimes lead us to compare grades, achievements, even who’s the ‘favorite’ in the family.
But comparisons don’t just breed discontent, they can also damage your relationship with your siblings.
It’s hard to foster a strong bond when you’re constantly sizing each other up. Besides, your worth is not determined by how you stack up against someone else.
So if you want a stronger relationship with your siblings, stop comparing.
Appreciate each other for your unique strengths and individual qualities. Always keep in mind that you’re family, not competitors.
2) Don’t hold grudges
We’ve all been there – a sibling squabble that escalates into a full-blown argument.
When I was younger, my brother and I would fight over the silliest things. And let me tell you, it was easy to hold onto those bitter feelings, especially when we were stuck in the same house.
But as we got older, we realized that holding grudges only pushed us further apart. We were letting petty disagreements cloud the love we had for each other.
One time, after a particularly heated argument about who got to control the TV remote, we didn’t speak to each other for days.
Finally, I decided to break the silence, and apologized. That small act of letting go of my pride made a huge difference. My brother appreciated my maturity, and we soon made up, laughing about how ridiculous our fight was.
So here’s my advice – don’t let grudges fester.
Let go of past fights and disagreements.
And deep down you know that it’s not about who’s right or wrong — it’s about maintaining that sibling bond. No argument is worth losing a relationship over.
3) Avoid constant teasing
Teasing can seem like an innocent part of sibling dynamics, but excessive and hurtful teasing can actually lead to long-lasting emotional scars.
According to research published in the Frontiers in Psychiatry, children who experience frequent sibling bullying are twice as likely to develop depression and self-harm tendencies by early adulthood.
Of course, a little playful banter is normal among siblings. However, when it crosses the line into humiliation or belittlement, it’s time to reassess.
Consider the feelings of your sibling before making a joke at their expense. Your words have power, so use them to build up, not tear down.
By reducing the hurtful teasing, you’ll be taking a significant step towards a stronger relationship with your siblings.
4) Lack of appreciation
Sometimes in the hustle of life, we forget to acknowledge and appreciate the people closest to us. This is especially true for our siblings.
We might take them for granted, assuming they’ll always be there and forgetting to thank them for the little things they do.
But think about it: how would you feel if your efforts went unnoticed?
Showing appreciation doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be as simple as saying “thank you” when your brother lends you his favorite book or when your sister helps you with your homework.
Just make sure to express gratitude in some way.
Trust me, that’s the easiest way to show that you value their presence in your life. This small act can go a long way in strengthening your relationship with your siblings.
5) Not making time
We all lead busy lives but making time for your siblings is crucial in maintaining a strong bond.
In my early twenties, my career took off and I found myself consumed with work. I was chasing deadlines, attending meetings and barely making time for myself, let alone my family.
My younger sister tried to reach out several times, but I was too caught up in my own world to respond. One day, she sent me a heartfelt letter expressing how much she missed our quality time together.
It was a wake-up call.
I realized that while I was busy building my career, I was neglecting my relationship with my sister. From then on, I made it a point to set aside time each week for her.
Whether it’s a quick phone call or an occasional movie night, those moments have brought us closer than ever.
No matter how packed your schedule is, always make time for your siblings. Trust me, it will make your bond stronger.
6) Dominating conversations
Communication is a two-way street. If you’re always dominating conversations, not letting your siblings get a word in, it can make them feel unheard and unimportant.
It’s essential to allow each other the space to express thoughts, feelings, and experiences. By listening more than you speak, you show respect for their opinions and value their input.
Nobody wants to feel like their voice doesn’t matter. So the next time you’re engaged in a conversation with your sibling, take a step back and let them lead the discussion.
You might be surprised at what you learn about them, and it can open up new avenues of understanding and connection.
7) Lack of respect
At the end of the day, respect is the cornerstone of any strong relationship.
Yes, including the one with your siblings.
Respect their individuality, their choices, and their boundaries. By showing respect, you’re signifying that you value them as individuals and you acknowledge their rights to their own beliefs, feelings, and experiences.
Remember, a relationship without respect is like a house without a foundation – it simply doesn’t stand. That’s why you should always treat your siblings with the respect they deserve.
At the heart of it all: Love
Moving through the complexity of sibling relationships, one element remains constant – Love. This simple yet profound emotion forms the underpinning of every familial bond.
Siblings are our first friends, our first rivals, and often our longest-lasting relationships.
Despite squabbles, arguments, and differences, the love between siblings is a powerful force that can weather any storm.
A study conducted by the University of Cambridge found that having a sibling can make you more empathetic. This empathy, grown from shared experiences and mutual understanding, can serve as a solid foundation for a lifelong bond.
So, if you desire a stronger relationship with your siblings, remember to let love lead the way.
Nurture it with respect, understanding, patience, and time. After all, siblings are a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, and a golden thread to the meaning of life.
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