People who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face usually display these 8 specific traits

Ever had that nagging feeling that someone who’s all smiles in front of you might not have your back when you’re not around?

Well, we’ve all come across two-faced people.

They’re sweet to your face, but behind your back, it’s a different story.

It’s not always easy to spot these individuals. They’re masters of disguise, displaying a charming facade while hiding their true intentions.

But don’t worry, these people usually display eight specific traits. Once you know what to look for, you’ll be able to identify them with ease.

In this article, we’ll explore 8 specific traits that these individuals tend to display.

1) Insincere compliments

Have you ever met someone who showers you with compliments, but somehow, those compliments feel shallow?

This is a common trait among people who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face. They use flattery as a tool to keep you on their side, all the while whispering about you to others.

But here’s the thing – genuine compliments have a different feel. They’re specific, and they show that the person has taken the time to understand and appreciate you.

On the other hand, insincere compliments are often vague and overly effusive. They feel like they’ve been pulled out of a hat, rather than being based on any real appreciation of who you are or what you’ve done.

So next time someone lavishes you with praise, take a moment to evaluate it.

Does it feel genuine? Or is it just empty words designed to keep you sweet?

Recognizing this trait can help you identify those who might be talking behind your back.

2) They are quick to gossip

Gossip can seem like harmless chatter, but it often reveals more about the person spreading it than about the subject of the gossip.

People who are two-faced are usually quick to share juicy tidbits about others. This stems from a need for attention and validation.

By sharing secrets or negative information, they place themselves in a position of perceived power and importance.

There’s an old saying that goes, “Those who gossip with you, will gossip about you.”

This rings especially true for those who talk behind your back but act friendly to your face.

So, guess what?

If someone is always eager to share the latest gossip, it might be a red flag that they’re not as trustworthy as they seem.

Interestingly, a 2022 study published in Scientific Reports found that gossip can actually serve a social bonding function. But while this may be true, it doesn’t excuse the harm it can cause when it’s used to spread negativity.

3) They avoid conflict

In my own life, I’ve noticed that people who talk behind your back often go to great lengths to avoid conflict.

I recall a friend I had in college, let’s call her Sarah. Sarah was always agreeable and supportive when we were together. But she would go silent when there was a hint of disagreement or conflict. And then, I’d later hear from others about how she had aired her grievances about me behind my back.

This is a classic trait of a two-faced person.

They put up a front of friendliness and avoid disagreements to your face. But behind your back, they’re not shy about expressing their true thoughts and feelings.

It’s a way of avoiding direct confrontation, but it’s also a form of dishonesty. And recognizing this can help you see who’s genuinely on your side and who’s just pretending.

4) Unpredictable behavior

One hallmark of people who talk behind your back is their unpredictable behavior.

One moment, they may be your best friend, laughing at your jokes and agreeing with your opinions. But the next moment, you might find that they’ve been spreading rumors or making unkind remarks about you to others.

Sounds familiar?

Well, this kind of inconsistency can be confusing and hurtful. It can make you question your own judgment and create a sense of instability in your relationship with them.

Unpredictability can be a tactic to keep you off balance. By keeping you guessing, they maintain control and ensure that you’re always on the back foot.

That’s why you should keep an eye out for people who flip flop between being friendly and being distant or negative. It could be a sign that they’re not treating you with the respect and honesty you deserve.

5) Lack of genuine empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a cornerstone of any genuine relationship.

People who talk behind your back, however, often lack this critical trait. They might offer words of comfort or sympathy when you’re facing a tough time, but it’s usually surface-level and lacks sincerity.

It’s as if they’ve read a manual on how to express empathy, but the emotional connection just isn’t there. They might say the right things, but their actions or body language could tell a different story.

This lack of empathy can be particularly hurtful because it’s so fundamental to human connection.

When it’s missing, it can leave you feeling isolated and misunderstood.

6) They’re always playing the victim

I’ve learned over time that people who talk behind your back often have a tendency to play the victim.

There was a time when I was part of a team project at work. One team member, let’s call him Mark, was always friendly and agreeable during our group meetings.

But I started to notice that whenever something went wrong, Mark was quick to blame others and paint himself as the innocent party.

He would tell tales of how he was being unfairly treated or misunderstood, but it was always someone else’s fault. It seemed like he was constantly in the middle of some drama or conflict, but he was never the one to blame.

Playing the victim is a way for people like Mark to divert attention away from their own shortcomings and mistakes. It’s also a way for them to gain sympathy and support from others.

However, consider it a red flag when they’re not being entirely honest about their role in these situations.

7) They rarely take responsibility

Accepting responsibility is a sign of maturity and integrity. However, those who talk behind your back but are friendly to your face typically avoid taking responsibility at all costs.

They have an excuse for everything and are quick to place blame on others. When confronted with their actions, they might deflect, deny, or even try to justify their behavior in some way.

This lack of accountability can be frustrating and damaging, especially in a relationship where trust is paramount.

It’s also a clear signal that they’re not willing to own up to their actions or consider the impact on others.

This makes me certain that if someone consistently shrinks responsibility for their actions, they’re not as trustworthy as they appear.

8) They thrive on secrecy

The most critical thing to understand about people who talk behind your back is their relationship with secrecy.

They thrive on it, using it as a tool to manipulate situations and relationships. They might share confidential information about others or create a web of secrets to maintain control.

Secrecy is their currency, and they use it to build alliances, create divisions, or simply keep the spotlight off their own actions. It’s a way of maintaining power and control, even if it’s at the expense of others.

After all, honesty and transparency are key in any relationship, right?

Anyone who thrives on secrecy is likely not acting in your best interest.

Final thoughts

Dealing with people who talk behind your back while acting friendly to your face can be challenging, but recognizing the traits they commonly display gives you the power to protect yourself.

By staying observant and trusting your instincts, you can minimize the impact of their behavior and maintain your emotional well-being.

Here are a few ways to handle such situations:

• Set boundaries: Limit how much personal information you share with people you don’t fully trust.
• Confront respectfully: If the behavior persists, address it directly and calmly.
• Focus on genuine connections: Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you authentically.

Remember, not everyone deserves a seat at your table. By staying mindful of these traits, you can prioritize healthy, positive relationships and let go of unnecessary toxicity.