7 non-obvious signs of a bad friend, according to psychology

If you’ve ever had a friend who just didn’t seem right, you’re not alone. Sometimes, it’s hard to pinpoint what makes a friend a bad one, especially when they aren’t showing obvious signs.

Maybe they’re always there for you, but something just feels off. Or perhaps they have a way of leaving you drained or upset without a clear reason why.

Being a good or bad friend isn’t something people consciously choose. It can often be influenced by their personality traits and psychological factors.

Psychology, in fact, provides some insights into these subtle signs of a bad friend. Recognizing these signs can be tricky, but understanding them can make a huge difference.

So, let’s delve into the 7 non-obvious signs of a bad friend, according to psychology.

1) They always turn the conversation to themselves

Ever had a friend that just can’t seem to let you have the spotlight, even for a minute? You may want to talk about your day, or perhaps share an exciting piece of news. But somehow, the conversation always turns back to them.

This could be a sign of a bad friend. Psychology tells us that people who constantly talk about themselves may lack empathy. They might not realize it, but they could be monopolizing conversations to feed their own needs and desires.

In more extreme cases, this could be a sign of narcissistic tendencies. The focus is always on them, their achievements, their problems. You might end up feeling like your feelings and experiences don’t matter.

It’s not about keeping score, but a true friendship should ideally involve a balance of give and take. If you’re always listening and hardly ever being heard, it might be time to reconsider if that’s the kind of friendship you want.

Remember, everyone deserves a friend who truly listens and cares. So don’t feel guilty about wanting this for yourself.

2) They’re always there… a bit too much

It might seem strange to label a friend who’s always there for you as a ‘bad’ one. After all, isn’t that what friendship is about?

But here’s the twist. A friend who’s constantly by your side, checking in on you every hour, or always wanting to hang out might not be as good for you as you think.

A person who exhibits this behavior might struggle with self-esteem or fear of abandonment. They might use the friendship as a way to validate their worth or to avoid being alone.

While it’s great to have a friend who cares, it’s also important to have your own space and independence. A healthy friendship respects boundaries and understands that everyone needs time for themselves.

So if you find yourself feeling suffocated or overwhelmed by a friend’s constant presence, it could be time to have a conversation about boundaries. You’re not being harsh; you’re simply taking care of your own mental well-being.

3) They’re overly competitive

A little healthy competition can bring excitement to a friendship. But when your friend turns every small thing into a competition, it might be a sign that something’s off.

Competitive friends often feel the need to outdo you, whether it’s about work, relationships, or even your weekend plans. You might find yourself feeling downgraded or belittled when they constantly try to one-up you.

Underneath such behavior often lies insecurity and a deep-seated need for validation. They may feel that by being better than you in certain areas, they can prove their worth or boost their self-esteem.

However, true friendship isn’t about proving who’s better. It’s about supporting and celebrating each other’s success without comparison or competition.

4) They’re not happy for your success

You’ve just landed your dream job, or maybe you’ve achieved something you’ve been working towards for a long time. You’re excited to share the news with your friend, expecting them to be thrilled for you.

But instead of sharing your joy, they seem uninterested or, worse, they downplay your achievement. This can hurt, especially when you expected them to be your cheerleader.

It’s important to remember that this often has nothing to do with you or your achievements. It might be that your friend is struggling with their own feelings of inadequacy or jealousy. It doesn’t excuse their behavior, but understanding where they might be coming from can help you navigate the situation better.

Everyone deserves a friend who celebrates their wins and uplifts them during their victories. If this isn’t the case with your friend, it might be worth having a heart-to-heart conversation about how their reaction made you feel.

5) They only reach out when they need something

We’ve all had that friend who seems to have a sixth sense for knowing when you’re about to settle into a warm bath or sit down with a good book. Suddenly, your phone buzzes with their message, not to ask about your day, but because they need a favor.

Being there for each other in times of need is a fundamental part of friendship. But if the only time you hear from your friend is when they need something from you, it can feel like you’re being taken advantage of.

Friendship isn’t a one-way street. It’s a mutual relationship where both parties should feel valued and cared for. If you find that your friend’s needs always seem to come first, it might be time to reassess the balance in your friendship.

6) They don’t respect your boundaries

Picture this: you’ve had a long, tiring day and all you want to do is curl up with a movie or dive into a good book. You’ve made it clear to your friend that you need some alone time to recharge, but they still insist on dropping by or continuously calling you.

This disregard for your personal boundaries can be a sign of a bad friend. Everybody needs their personal space and time, and a good friend respects that.

Respecting boundaries goes beyond just physical space and time. It could also be about understanding your limits in terms of emotional capacity, personal beliefs, or even your choices and decisions.

7) They constantly criticize you

Nobody’s perfect, and a good friend can gently point out your mistakes or areas for growth. But if your friend is constantly criticizing you, whether it’s your appearance, choices, or even your dreams, it’s a red flag.

It’s never easy to hear negative comments about ourselves, especially from someone we trust. This constant criticism can wear you down and chip away at your self-esteem.

Remember, a true friend wants to build you up, not tear you down. Constructive criticism is one thing, but constant negativity has no place in a healthy friendship.

If this sounds familiar, it might be time for some tough decisions. You deserve friends who respect and value you, not ones who bring you down. It’s okay to distance yourself from people who don’t treat you with the kindness and respect you deserve.

Final thoughts

If you’ve noticed some of these signs in a friend, it’s essential to remember that you deserve respect, kindness, and genuine care in all your relationships.

It’s okay to reassess relationships and put your mental well-being first. Conversations can help, but sometimes, creating distance might be the healthiest choice.

At the end of the day, remember that everyone deserves friendships that are supportive, respectful, and positive. Don’t be afraid to prioritize your emotional health and set standards for the kind of friendships you want in your life.

Here’s to cultivating healthier, more fulfilling friendships!