As we journey through life, things get a little weird. We grow older, we gain experiences, and before we know it, we’re seeing the world with a sharper, more critical eye.
Yeah, that’s right—some of us start becoming more judgmental as we age. Not exactly the kind of growth you had in mind, right?
It’s easy to brush it off as just “getting wiser,” but when that wisdom turns into judgment, it can start to cause real tension—both with others and within ourselves.
In this article, we’ll uncover 7 key signs that point to this shift.
Whether you’ve noticed it in yourself or someone close to you, recognizing these patterns is the first step toward replacing judgment with understanding.
Ready to take a closer look? Let’s dive in.
1) Lack of curiosity
A trait often seen in people who become more judgmental with age is a decline in curiosity.
In our younger years, we’re naturally inquisitive, eager to explore new ideas and perspectives. But over time, with the accumulation of knowledge and experience, some lose that spark of curiosity.
And when curiosity fades, judgment takes its place. Walt Whitman put it best: “Be curious, not judgmental.”
Without curiosity, we stop asking questions and start relying on assumptions, making snap judgments instead of seeking to understand.
This lack of curiosity can lead to misunderstandings.
On the flip side, nurturing our curiosity keeps the mind open, fostering empathy and reducing the tendency to criticize. Curiosity is a key to staying connected and compassionate as we age.
2) Desire for control
As people grow older, they start to crave more control over their surroundings.
What was once a love for spontaneity and adventure can turn into a strong preference for routine and predictability, where unexpected changes or disruptions become less welcome.
This need for control can also shape how they see others.
Those who live more unpredictable or unorganized lives might be judged more harshly, simply because their choices don’t align with the desire for order and stability.
Over time, this increasing need for control can make people more judgmental of lifestyles that don’t match their own.
3) The “good old days” syndrome
We’ve all heard or said it before: “Things were so much better in the good old days.”
This nostalgia for the past can sometimes evolve into a judgmental attitude towards the present and future.
With age, they might find themselves comparing current societal norms, trends, or behaviors to those of their younger years.
They may perceive anything that deviates from their familiar past as worse or inferior. This mindset fosters unfair judgments toward younger generations and societal changes.
While it’s natural to feel nostalgic about the past, it’s important to keep in mind that change is a part of life.
The ‘good old days’ might have been good, but that doesn’t mean the present or the future can’t be better.
Embracing change and being open to new experiences can help reduce judgmental tendencies.
In the words of Michael McMillian, “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”
4) Desire for simplicity
With the passage of time, a stronger preference for simplicity and order tends to emerge.
There’s a growing tendency toward embracing routines, relationships, and opinions that are straightforward, as complexity may feel overwhelming or unnecessary.
In the pursuit of a more simplified life, judgments can become quicker, with people or ideas often being categorized without a full understanding of their intricacies.
This black-and-white mindset can trigger snap decisions, reducing the ability to appreciate the nuance and depth that exist in the world around us.
Over time, this approach may lead to a more rigid worldview, where only familiar or easily understood concepts are welcomed, leaving little room for the complexities that drive personal growth and societal evolution.
By overlooking these subtleties, there’s a risk of missing out on deeper connections, diverse perspectives, and meaningful insights that thrive in the space between black and white.
5) Overgeneralization
“Millennials are all lazy” or “Every politician is corrupt”?
These broad claims are classic examples of overgeneralization, a tendency seen in people who grow more judgmental with time.
Overgeneralization is when someone applies one or two experiences to all similar experiences, without taking into account the vast differences that can exist.
This behavior leads to stereotypes and unfair judgments about groups of people or situations.
It closes the door on individual differences and unique circumstances, painting everything with the same broad brush.
This habit can limit our understanding of the world, promote bias, and prevent us from seeing people as they truly are.
6) Negativity and pessimism
Psychologist Diane Dreher once noted that “A judgmental attitude helps neither ourselves nor others.”
This insight is especially relevant when considering the connection between judgment and negativity, a behavior that becomes more pronounced with age.
Negativity frequently accompanies a judgmental mindset.
Those who are overly critical tend to focus on the negative aspects of people or situations, ignoring the positive.
This pessimistic outlook tends to intensify harsher judgments of others and creates a sense of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
For instance, someone who consistently highlights flaws might say things like, “Things never go right” or “People always disappoint.”
This negative thinking can have a significant impact on their mood and mental health, while also straining relationships, as it creates an atmosphere of constant criticism.
Embracing a more balanced and optimistic perspective can help break this cycle and encourage healthier connections with others.
7) A tendency to dismiss others’ feelings
During my college years, I had a professor who was notorious for his tough grading and no-nonsense attitude.
He would dismiss the students’ stress or anxiety about exams with statements like “You young people are too sensitive” or “In my time, we didn’t have the luxury to stress about exams.”
This dismissal of others’ feelings is yet another behavior commonly displayed by individuals who become more judgmental as they age.
They might minimize others’ emotional experiences, comparing them with their own experiences or standards.
This isn’t to say they lack empathy entirely. It’s just that their perspective might be skewed by their own experiences, making it difficult for them to validate others’ feelings.
Is becoming more judgmental inevitable with age?
While we’ve discussed how some people tend to become more judgmental as they age, it’s essential to note that this isn’t inevitable for everyone.
Aging can also bring wisdom, empathy, and a broader perspective on life.
It’s also worth remembering that an individual’s judgmental tendencies are influenced by various factors such as:
- Their personality traits
- Their life experiences
- Their coping mechanisms
- Their social environment
While it’s common to see certain behaviors becoming amplified with age, it’s not a given that everyone will become more judgmental.
We all age differently, and our attitudes can evolve in various ways. So, it’s vital to avoid stereotyping or judging people based on their age.
Ultimately, understanding these behaviors can help us empathize better with those who might be becoming more judgmental as they age.
It also serves as a reminder for us all to continually strive for self-awareness, empathy, and open-mindedness in our own lives.
What would Jesus say?
Unsure whether to move on from a failed marriage? Struggling with desire and feeling guilty for it? Wanting to live a life Jesus would be proud of?
Let Jesus tell you how to be a good Christian according to the teachings of the Bible.
We brought Jesus back to life with the help of AI. Ask your toughest life questions, and Jesus will tell you exactly what to do.
