People who can twist any argument to suit their needs often use these 9 phrases

Ever feel like you’re losing an argument you were sure you’d win?

You came prepared with solid points, backed by logic, only to find the conversation slipping through your fingers as the other person masterfully shifts the focus, bends the facts, and somehow always has the last word.

It’s not just frustrating—it’s disorienting. How did they manage to twist things around so easily?

This happens more than we realize, and it’s not by accident.

Some people are skilled at using certain phrases to manipulate the flow of an argument, deflect responsibility, or even make you question your own reasoning.

Recognizing these tactics is key to standing your ground.

In this article, we’ll uncover 9 phrases that people often use to twist arguments in their favor.

By identifying these verbal tricks, you can keep control of the conversation and avoid getting trapped in their web of manipulation. Let’s dive in and see how these phrases work.

1) “Everyone else believes…”

In the realm of arguments and debates, few tactics are as powerful as the bandwagon technique.

Individuals who are skilled at twisting arguments employ this method to sway the conversation in their favor.

The bandwagon technique, also known as the appeal to popularity, is a fallacy based on the assumption that the opinion of the majority is always valid.

The idea is simple – if everyone else believes in something, it must be true, right?

For example, they might say, “Everyone else believes that this policy is effective; why don’t you?”

This kind of statement can make you question your own beliefs, especially if you’re not solidly grounded in your position.

However, keep in mind that popularity does not equal truth.

The saying of Aristotle, “It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it,” serves as a reminder that a widely accepted belief isn’t necessarily accurate.

Truth is often more nuanced and complex, and cannot be simplified to majority opinion.

2) “From my experience…”

The use of personal anecdotes can be a powerful tool in arguments, and those who master the art of twisting arguments know this all too well.

Statements like “From my experience, this approach always works” can imply that their personal experience carries more weight than it should in the conversation.

Let me share a personal example. I was once in a debate about the best way to manage a team.

One individual, who was quite persuasive, kept asserting, “From my experience, micromanaging always gets the best results.”

This statement made me pause. It went against everything I believed about team leadership.

But because this person seemed so confident in their stance, I found myself questioning my own beliefs.

Personal experience doesn’t equate to universal truth. What works for one person may not apply to others.

When statements like this arise, it’s essential to evaluate whether genuine insight is being shared or if the argument is being subtly twisted.

3) “Studies show…”

A favorite tactic among argument twisters is incorporating scientific studies or statistics to bolster their position.

It’s hard to argue against “hard data,” right?

They might say something like, “Studies show that people are more productive when they work from home.”

This statement can easily sway the conversation. After all, who are we to argue against science?

Recognizing that data can be manipulated or misrepresented is essential.

Not all studies are created equal, and the same data can be interpreted in different ways.

A study published in the Quarterly Journal of Economics found that call center employees who worked from home were 13% more productive.

However, the same study also revealed that these employees were less likely to be promoted, suggesting that working from home might not be beneficial for career advancement.

So whenever you hear “studies show…”, take a moment to think critically about the data being presented and consider other possible interpretations.

4) “You always…”

In the world of debate, there’s a sneaky tactic used by those who have mastered the art of twisting arguments to their favor.

This is the weaponization of absolutes.

Absolutes are words like ‘always,’ ‘never,’ ‘everyone,’ or ‘no one.’

They’re powerful because they leave no room for exceptions or nuances. They paint a picture that is black and white, leaving no room for greys.

When someone uses an absolute in a discussion, they’re subtly shifting the narrative to match their perspective.

It’s a way of cornering you into defending yourself, instead of focusing on the argument itself.

For instance, if they say, “You always ignore my suggestions,” the focus shifts from the issue at hand to your perceived constant disregard for their ideas.

It’s no longer about the suggestion itself, but about your behavior.

Spotting absolutes in conversations can help you maintain control of the discussion and keep it centered on the real issues at hand. 

5) “I understand where you’re coming from…”

At first glance, the phrase can seem harmless or even empathetic.

Understanding different perspectives is, after all, a key part of effective communication.

Yet, in the hands of someone adept at twisting arguments, it can become a subtle tool for manipulation.

By stating, “I understand where you’re coming from,” they establish a sense of empathy, creating the illusion that your viewpoint is being validated.

This can make you more receptive to what follows, even if their response gradually shifts the discussion in their favor.

Empathy should foster mutual understanding, not be a means of manipulation.

While genuine empathy is valuable, it’s important to stay aware of how it can sometimes be used to influence the direction of a conversation.

6) “I agree, but…”

This phrase is a clever tactic used by those skilled in steering conversations to their advantage.

It may seem like they’re aligning with your perspective, but the ‘but’ that follows often brings a twist.

A common example is when someone says, “I agree that we need to cut costs, but cutting staff is not the right approach.”

They begin with agreement, only to quickly introduce a contrasting view.

This creates the illusion of being on your side, while subtly guiding the discussion toward their own conclusion.

When hearing “I agree, but…,” stay alert for a potential shift.

That initial agreement might not be as genuine as it first appears.

7) “Just think about it…”

This phrase is a sly way of suggesting that if you consider their perspective, you’ll inevitably come around to their point of view. It’s a favorite among those who are skilled at manipulating arguments.

A typical example might be, “Just think about it, if we go with my plan, we can save so much time and effort.”

This subtly suggests that anyone who disagrees hasn’t thought things through.

While their viewpoint deserves consideration, keep in mind that multiple perspectives can exist on any issue.

As F. Scott Fitzgerald put it, “The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”

Take “Just think about it” as an opportunity to reflect, not a demand for agreement.

8) “I’m not saying… I’m just saying…”

Starting with “I’m not saying…” is a classic tactic in argument manipulation.

It allows someone to introduce a controversial point without fully committing to it.

By using this buffer, they can express potentially provocative ideas while appearing non-confrontational.

The follow-up, “I’m just saying…” often reveals their actual stance, disguised as a harmless suggestion or hypothetical statement.

This approach subtly plants a seed of doubt or shifts the conversation in a different direction.

George Bernard Shaw‘s observation, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place,” highlights this tactic perfectly.

It creates that very illusion—making it seem like real dialogue is happening, while the true intention is to guide the conversation without openly revealing the full argument.

9) “Let’s agree to disagree…”

This is a phrase used by those who are savvy in managing conversations, especially when they sense the argument isn’t going their way.

Rather than admitting defeat, this statement acts as a tactical pause, allowing the person to sidestep conceding any points while leaving the door open to revisit the debate later under more favorable circumstances.

Though it may appear to be a mature resolution, it can also be a strategic move to avoid losing the argument or acknowledging a mistake.

Robert Quillen‘s words, “Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of ignorance”.

With that in mind, what may seem like a respectful end to a disagreement could actually be an attempt to prevent any true exchange of knowledge, keeping the argument alive for another round in the future.

Final thoughts: It’s all in the language

The nuances of human communication are deeply entwined with the words we choose to express ourselves.

Underneath the surface of everyday conversations, there’s a delicate dance of influence and persuasion.

Certain phrases, as we’ve explored, can be wielded to subtly steer the direction of a discussion or argument.

Recognizing these phrases is not about pointing fingers or casting blame.

It’s about fostering a better understanding of how language can be used and misused in our interactions.

American philosopher and linguist Noam Chomsky once said, “Language is a process of free creation; its laws and principles are fixed, but the manner in which the principles of generation are used is free and infinitely varied.”

In every conversation, we have the freedom to use language to build bridges or walls, to enlighten or to manipulate.

The choice, as always, lies with us.