People who grow apart from family and friends as they age almost always display these 10 behaviors

There’s something bittersweet about growing up. While maturing is natural, the experience of growing apart from those we once held dear feels like a choice—a choice that’s often wrapped in complexity and, at times, a sense of loss.

As we age, it’s common to notice a subtle drifting away from family and friends. The connections that once felt unbreakable can start to loosen as a natural consequence of life’s evolving paths.

What’s fascinating—and a little unsettling—is how certain behaviors seem to signal this shift. In this article, we will have a look at ten behaviors that often accompany this gradual distancing as we grow older, shedding light on the quiet ways we sometimes drift apart.

1) Increased isolation

The saying goes, “No man is an island,” but as we age, some people choose to make themselves into one.

Isolation is a common behavior among those who grow apart from family and friends. And I don’t mean living alone or moving away, either.

Isolation can be emotional. These individuals often withdraw from social interactions and keep their feelings to themselves. They avoid group gatherings and prefer to spend time in their own company.

It’s a voluntary retreat from the world they once knew, a shift from community to solitude.

However, this behavior isn’t necessarily harmful. Some people find comfort and peace in their own company. On the flip side, it could be a sign of growing apart if it’s a drastic change from previous behavior patterns.

2) Change in communication patterns

I’ve seen it happen, even within my own circle. One day, you’re chatting away with a friend or family member, and then suddenly, it feels like pulling teeth just to get a response.

A noticeable change in communication is another behavior that often signals someone growing apart. They might respond less often to messages or calls, or their responses may become shorter and less engaging.

For instance, I had a childhood friend who was once a chatterbox; we could talk for hours about everything under the sun. But over time, I noticed our conversations becoming more superficial and less frequent. It felt as if she was distancing herself, and sure enough, we gradually grew apart.

It’s a subtle shift, but an important one to note. Reduced communication doesn’t always mean growing apart – sometimes people are just busy – but it can be one piece of the puzzle.

3) Prioritization of new relationships

As we age, it’s natural to form new relationships. However, for those growing apart from their original circle, these new relationships often take precedence over old ones.

Research shows that people tend to replace half of their close network every seven years. That’s a significant shift in one’s social landscape.

In the context of growing apart, this might mean that a person starts spending most of their time with new friends or a significant other, leaving less time for their family and old friends. This change in social priority can be a clear sign of someone moving away from their original circle.

4) Lack of shared interests

Common interests are the glue that often holds relationships together. When people enjoy doing the same things, they naturally spend more time together and form stronger bonds.

But what happens when these shared interests fade away?

People who grow apart from their loved ones tend to develop new hobbies or passions that their original circle doesn’t share. Or perhaps they lose interest in the activities they used to enjoy with family and friends.

This divergence of interest can subtly nudge people apart over time. It usually shows up as a gradual drift caused by changing preferences and passions.

5) Decreased emotional investment

Emotional investment is a key element in maintaining any relationship. It shows in caring for the other person’s well-being, sharing in their joys and sorrows, and showing empathy during tough times.

But as some people age, they might become less emotionally invested in family and friends. This could manifest as indifference toward their loved ones’ feelings or important events in their lives.

They might stop asking about how others are doing or show a lack of interest in their personal lives. This detachment can be quite subtle but is often a clear sign of growing apart from loved ones.

6) Letting go of shared memories

We all have those nostalgic moments, where shared memories bring smiles, laughter, and sometimes even tears. These memories bind us to our loved ones and remind us of our shared past.

However, as some people grow apart from their family and friends, they tend to let go of these shared memories. The past seems less important, less impactful, and the bonds it created start to lose their strength.

It’s like a book of stories slowly gathering dust on a forgotten shelf. And while it’s a painful realization, it’s a heartfelt sign that someone is moving away emotionally from their original circle.

7) Avoidance of conflict

Conflict is a part of any relationship. It’s not always pleasant, but it’s often a sign that people care enough to voice their disagreements.

However, I’ve noticed that those drifting from their loved ones often avoid conflicts. They would rather stay quiet or distance themselves than engage in any form of disagreement.

I remember a time when I disagreed with a friend over something trivial. Instead of discussing it, he chose to avoid me altogether. It was at this point I realized we were growing apart. His avoidance of conflict was a way to disconnect and keep his emotional peace.

Kari Rusnak, MA, LPC, CMHC, suggests that avoiding conflict often leads to bigger issues and a greater sense of disconnection in relationships. This behavior, while aimed at self-preservation, can be an indication of growing apart from family and friends. 

8) Over-compensation

Here’s a twist. Sometimes, those growing apart from their loved ones might actually seem more engaged, more enthusiastic, or more present. But it’s an over-compensation, a facade to hide the growing distance.

They might make grand gestures, showering loved ones with gifts or attention. Or they might be overly agreeable, rarely voicing their own opinions or desires.

While this might seem like increased affection at first glance, it’s often an attempt to maintain appearances while their emotional connections weaken. It’s like trying to fix a crumbling wall with a fresh coat of paint. It might look better on the surface, but the underlying issues remain unresolved.

9) Frequent relocation

Physical distance can often lead to emotional distance. Those growing apart from their loved ones have a tendency to relocate frequently.

This could be moving to different cities, states, or even countries. It’s not always due to job requirements or lifestyle choices. Sometimes, it’s just an underlying desire to create physical distance from their original circle.

By constantly moving, they create a literal gap between themselves and their loved ones, which often translates into a metaphorical gap in their relationships. It’s a clear sign of someone growing apart from their family and friends.

10) Loss of emotional intimacy

The most striking sign of someone growing apart from their loved ones is the loss of emotional intimacy. This is the deep connection that allows us to share our innermost thoughts, fears, and aspirations.

When this intimacy fades, a person may still be present physically, but emotionally, they have already moved on. Their interactions become more superficial, devoid of the warmth and depth that once defined their relationships.

This loss of emotional intimacy is not just a sign, but often the crux of growing apart from family and friends as we age.

Final reflection

Growing apart from those we love is a tough pill to swallow, but it’s a part of the journey we all go through. While these shifts in our relationships may feel like losses, they often bring about change, growth, and sometimes, the discovery of new connections along the way.

Life has a way of pushing us forward, even when we’re not quite ready. But growing apart doesn’t have to be the end of the story. It’s simply another chapter—one that might lead us to unexpected places, new experiences, and perhaps a deeper understanding of ourselves.

As we explore these behaviors, let’s approach them with compassion—for others and for ourselves.