People who make new year’s resolutions but never keep them typically display these 7 traits, says psychology

Ever wondered why some people enthusiastically make New Year’s resolutions but never seem to keep them?

You’re not alone.

I’ve often found myself scratching my head at this, too.

Turns out, it’s not always a matter of willpower or dedication.

Psychology reveals that certain behavioral traits are common among those who habitually break their New Year’s resolutions.

Intriguing, right?

Let’s dive into what these traits are and why they may be the invisible hurdles between resolution-setters and their year-long goals.

1) They’re perfectionists

Surprising, isn’t it?

You’d think being a perfectionist would be an advantage when it comes to meeting goals. But here’s the catch.

Perfectionists tend to set extremely high standards for themselves. And when they inevitably fall short, they get discouraged and give up altogether.

It’s like aiming to read 50 books in a year when you’ve barely managed 10 the previous year.

The goal is so lofty that failing seems inevitable. And when that happens, the perfectionist in you might just throw in the towel and call it quits.

There’s nothing wrong with setting big goals. But when they’re unrealistic, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

If you’re a perfectionist, maybe it’s time to rethink how you set your resolutions.

2) They lack detailed plans

I’ve been guilty of this one, folks.

Last year, my resolution was to get in shape. Sounds like a solid goal, right?

The problem? I didn’t create a detailed plan to achieve it.

I started off strong, hitting the gym every day for the first week. But then life happened. Work got busy, I fell ill for a couple of days, and before I knew it, my gym visits dwindled to zero.

Without a detailed plan on how to incorporate exercise into my daily routine or how to deal with potential hurdles, my resolution was doomed from the start.

Psychology tells us that abstract goals are harder to achieve because they lack specific steps leading towards the end goal.

So, if you’re like me and have a history of setting resolutions without detailed plans, it might be worth putting pen to paper and mapping out how you’ll reach your goals this year. Let’s learn from our mistakes, shall we?

3) They overlook the power of small wins

Ever heard of the saying, “Rome wasn’t built in a day”?

It’s this exact logic that many of us tend to forget when setting our New Year’s resolutions.

We dream big (which is great) but overlook the value of celebrating the small victories along the way.

Let’s say your resolution is to learn a new language. You buy books, download language-learning apps, and even sign up for classes. But after a few weeks of not being fluent, you feel disheartened and quit.

Sound familiar?

What we need to remember is, progress is still progress, no matter how small.

The next time you find yourself frustrated at the pace of your progress, remember that every little step you take is a step closer to your goal.

And that’s something worth celebrating.

4) They don’t embrace setbacks

Setbacks. We’ve all faced them.

You’ve started eating healthier, but then you give in to that one chocolate cake and feel like you’ve blown your whole resolution.

I get it. It’s discouraging.

But here’s the thing: setbacks are a part of life, not a sign that you should abandon your resolutions.

People who consistently fail to keep their New Year’s resolutions often view setbacks as catastrophic failures rather than bumps in the road.

The key is to change your perspective. Instead of seeing these setbacks as the end of the road, view them as opportunities for learning and growth.

5) They’re driven by external validation

Here’s something to ponder: Did you know that our motivations can be classified as either intrinsic or extrinsic?

Intrinsic motivation comes from within, while extrinsic motivation is driven by external rewards or recognition.

Now, let’s bring this back to New Year’s resolutions.

Those who often fail to keep their resolutions are typically more motivated by extrinsic factors. They set goals based on what they think others expect from them, or for the sake of getting praise.

But here’s the catch: Studies show that intrinsic motivation is far more effective in achieving long-term goals.

So before you set your next resolution, ask yourself this: Am I doing this for me, or for others? Your answer might just be the key to sticking to your resolution.

6) They don’t practice self-compassion

Let’s talk about self-compassion.

It’s something we often forget to extend to ourselves, especially when we’re striving to achieve our New Year’s resolutions.

We’re our own harshest critics, aren’t we? When we stumble, we beat ourselves up, feeling guilty or disappointed. But this harsh self-criticism often does more harm than good.

Those who struggle with their resolutions often lack self-compassion. They allow their perceived failures to weigh them down, rather than treating themselves with kindness and understanding.

Remember, everyone stumbles sometimes. It’s okay to not be perfect. It’s okay to take a little longer to reach your goals.

What matters is that you keep going, and treat yourself with the same kindness that you would extend to a friend in the same situation. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.

7) They lack a personal connection to their resolution

The most successful resolutions are those that have deep personal significance.

If your resolution doesn’t resonate with your values, beliefs, or aspirations, it’s likely to fall by the wayside.

Why?

Because without a personal connection, there’s no meaningful motivation to see it through.

It becomes just another task on your to-do list rather than a meaningful journey towards personal growth.

When setting your resolutions, ensure they align with who you are and who you want to be. That connection can be the driving force that sees you through to success.

The final takeaway

With self-awareness and a sprinkle of determination, you can shift from being a resolution breaker to a resolution keeper. It’s all about understanding your behaviors and adjusting accordingly.

Start by looking closely at your past resolutions. Where did you stumble? Can you see any patterns? Reflect on this.

Do it for yourself, not for others. Be kind to yourself when you stumble. And most importantly, ensure your resolutions resonate with you on a personal level.

It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. But with each step you take, you’ll be moving closer to a successful resolution journey.