People who regularly alienate friends and acquaintances typically display these 7 behaviors (without realizing it)

There’s a fine line between keeping your individuality and unintentionally pushing people away.

Often, the behaviors that lead to alienating friends or acquaintances are done without realizing it.

These actions can be subtle, even unintentional, yet they have a profound effect on your relationships.

The following article will delve into the seven typical behaviors displayed by those who regularly find themselves pushing others away.

It’s time to take a hard look and question if you might be unknowingly guilty of these behaviors too. Let’s start the conversation.

1) Frequent criticism

In the realm of relationships, one behavior that often leads to alienation is an excessive amount of criticism.

Criticism, especially when unwarranted or harsh, can create an uncomfortable atmosphere. It can make friends and acquaintances feel judged, belittled, or unappreciated.

It’s natural to have opinions and it’s okay to express them. However, when it crosses over into constant critique of others, it may lead to feelings of alienation.

The key is balance and tact. It’s important to remember that everyone has their own path and learning curve. What might seem like a ‘helpful suggestion’ to you could be perceived as an attack by someone else.

If you find yourself regularly criticizing others, take a step back and assess your intentions. Are you genuinely trying to help or are you unnecessarily nit-picking?

Critique should be constructive, not destructive. Don’t let your words become a wedge that drives people away.

2) Lack of empathy

Another behavior that can unknowingly push people away is a lack of empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. When this is absent, it can create a disconnect between you and those around you.

I recall a time when my friend was going through a tough break-up. She was visibly upset and needed someone to listen.

Instead of offering comfort, I brushed off her feelings, saying things like “You’ll get over it” or “There are plenty more fish in the sea”.

In hindsight, I realize my lack of empathy made her feel isolated in her pain. I was trying to offer solutions when what she really needed was someone to acknowledge her feelings and just be there for her.

This experience taught me the importance of empathy in maintaining healthy relationships. It’s not always about having the right words to say or solutions to offer.

Sometimes, it’s about just being there, listening, and showing that you care.

3) Dominating conversations

Communication is a two-way street. But when one person constantly takes over the conversation, it can leave others feeling unheard and unimportant.

Did you know that, according to a study led by Harry Weger at the University of Central Florida, people who are good listeners are perceived as more attractive?

This is due to the fact that they make the speaker feel valued and important.

On the flip side, constantly dominating conversations can lead to alienation. It’s important to ensure that everyone in a conversation feels heard and valued.

An equal exchange of words and listening creates a balanced and healthy interaction. So, resist the urge to always take center stage and allow others their turn in the spotlight.

4) Being dismissive

Another behavior that tends to push people away is being dismissive. This is when you invalidate or minimize someone’s feelings, thoughts, or experiences.

Imagine this scenario: your friend is excited about a new job opportunity, but you brush it off as no big deal. This can make your friend feel unimportant and undervalued.

Being dismissive can create a barrier in relationships. It’s essential to acknowledge the experiences and feelings of others, even if you don’t fully understand or agree with them.

Validation doesn’t necessarily mean agreement. It’s simply a way of showing respect for the other person’s perspective.

5) Always being right

One behavior that can inadvertently cause alienation is the need to always be right.

This can manifest in various ways, such as arguing until the other person gives in, refusing to admit when you’re wrong, or not taking criticism well.

I remember a time when I was so focused on winning an argument with a close friend that I didn’t realize how much it was damaging our relationship.

I insisted on my viewpoint so adamantly, that I completely disregarded her feelings and perspective.

In the end, I may have won the argument, but it came at a high cost – our friendship. It took some time to mend things and it taught me a valuable lesson about the price of always needing to be right.

Having an open mind and being willing to consider other perspectives not only fosters better relationships but also promotes personal growth. After all, no one is right all the time.

6) Not keeping commitments

Another behavior that can result in alienation is not keeping commitments. When you repeatedly break promises or cancel plans, it sends a message to the other person that they are not a priority.

Whether it’s showing up late, forgetting an important date, or failing to follow through on a promise, these actions can erode trust in a relationship.

Trust is like a sheet of paper; once it’s crumpled, it can’t be perfect again. So, be mindful of your commitments. If you say you’re going to do something, do your best to follow through.

Your reliability speaks volumes about your respect for others’ time and feelings.

7) Neglecting to give genuine compliments

The power of a genuine compliment cannot be overstated. When you neglect to acknowledge the good in others, it can make them feel unappreciated and overlooked.

Compliments are a simple yet powerful way of showing appreciation and respect. They help people feel seen, valued, and confident.

However, the compliment needs to be genuine and specific. Instead of saying “you’re great,” say “I admire how you handled that tough situation with such grace and patience.”

The beauty of a genuine compliment is that it creates a positive ripple effect – it brightens the person’s day, boosts their self-esteem, and strengthens your relationship with them.

So don’t hold back on giving sincere compliments. They are indeed a potent tool for maintaining healthy relationships.

In conclusion: It’s all about awareness

Understanding human behavior and relationships is a complex endeavor, often with roots in our subconscious behaviors.

One key element to consider is the phenomenon known as emotional intelligence.

According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence is an individual’s ability to recognize, understand, and manage their own emotions as well as the emotions of others.

Emotional intelligence can play a significant role in our interpersonal relationships.

Those who regularly alienate others often lack emotional intelligence, especially when it comes to understanding how their actions might impact those around them.

The good news? Emotional intelligence can be learned and improved upon. By becoming more aware of our behaviors and how they affect others, we can make conscious choices to change and improve.

Whether it’s being more empathetic, listening more, or simply giving genuine compliments, small changes can have a significant impact on our relationships.

Awareness is the first step towards change. As you reflect on these behaviors, consider which ones you might be guilty of and how you can start making changes today.

You’ll not only improve your relationships with others but also gain a deeper understanding of yourself.