People who retreat into their shell when going through a tough time often display these 9 behaviors

When life gets tough, we all have our own ways of coping.

Some people reach out for support, opening up to loved ones for comfort. Others, however, retreat into their shell, pulling away from the world.

While it might seem like a form of avoidance, retreating is actually a natural response.

For many people, it’s a way to protect themselves, regain a sense of control, or find the space they need to heal.

In this article, we’ll explore 9 behaviors that people who retreat during difficult times often display.

Understanding these signs can help you recognize and support someone who is going through a tough time, even if they’re not expressing it openly.

1) Decreased social interaction

We are all social beings by nature. But when going through a tough time, some people choose to retreat.

And the first noticeable change is often in their social interactions.

You’ll find them pulling away from get-togethers and avoiding conversations.

Their phone might go unanswered, and their text replies may become sporadic.

This retreat is not because they don’t value their relationships or friendships.

Rather, it’s a coping mechanism. It’s their way of creating a safe space where they can process what’s happening.

Understand that this behavior is not personal.

It’s temporary and often necessary for them to regain their equilibrium.

If someone you know is avoiding social interaction, give them the space they need but let them know you’re there for them when they’re ready to reach out.

2) Increased introspection

I remember when I was going through a rough patch a few years back.

I found that I was spending more time alone, lost in my thoughts.

In times of crisis, many of us turn inward.

We dig deep into our mental and emotional reserves, seeking answers and trying to make sense of our situation.

We begin to question everything – our decisions, our choices, our reactions.

This introspection can be intense and consuming.

For me, it was like a repetitive cycle of thinking, analyzing, and overthinking.

It was exhausting, but it helped me understand my feelings and the situation better.

So if you notice someone being unusually quiet and thoughtful lately, they might be dealing with a tough time and retreating into their shell.

It’s vital to respect their need for introspection while ensuring they know they’re not alone.

3) Changes in sleeping patterns

Sleep, a fundamental human need, is often disrupted when we’re under stress.

It’s our body’s way of responding to distress, and it’s more common than you might think.

According to research from Binghamton University, adults who sleep fewer than eight hours a night have higher anxiety and stress than those who sleep at least eight hours.

So if someone’s been having trouble sleeping, waking up frequently at night, or sleeping more than usual, they could be retreating into their shell during a tough time.

If you notice this change in someone, encourage them to seek help as consistent sleep disruptions can lead to more serious health issues down the line.

4) Preferring solitude

When life gets challenging, some people find solace in solitude.

You’ll notice them preferring to spend time alone rather than in the company of others.

This preference for solitude is a way for them to manage their thoughts and emotions.

It’s like a sanctuary where they can regroup and heal without the pressure of social expectations or judgments.

They might opt to work alone, eat alone, or even go on solitary walks.

It’s important to understand that this is not them pushing you away, but rather them pulling themselves together.

As with all these behaviors, patience and understanding are key.

Let them know that it’s okay to take time for themselves and that you’re there when they’re ready to reconnect.

5) Reduced communication

Have you ever noticed someone suddenly become less talkative?

This could be a sign that they’re retreating into their shell.

Going through a difficult time can make communication challenging.

They might struggle to express their feelings or fear burdening others with their problems.

You could notice:

• Their messages become shorter or less frequent
• Conversations seem one-sided
• They avoid discussing their personal life

Remember, lack of communication doesn’t mean lack of affection or respect.

It’s just a phase where they’re trying to cope with their situation.

Your consistent support and understanding can make a world of difference.

Let them know that it’s okay to be silent, but also remind them that you’re there to listen when they’re ready to talk.

6) Emotional outbursts

Sometimes, the weight of a tough situation can become too much to bear in silence.

This can lead to unexpected emotional outbursts.

While they might typically be calm and composed, you may suddenly witness tears, frustration, or even anger.

It’s the pain finding a way out. It’s the silent cry for help that often goes unnoticed.

These emotional outbursts can be startling, but they’re a crucial part of their healing process.

A release of pent-up emotions can provide relief and pave the way towards recovery.

In these moments, what they need the most is a non-judgmental ear and a comforting presence.

Show them empathy, love, and support. Remind them that it’s okay to express their feelings and that they’re not alone in their journey.

7) Loss of interest in hobbies

I’ve always been a bookworm. Reading was my escape, my joy.

But during a particularly challenging period, I found myself staring at the books on my shelf with no desire to pick them up.

A similar sense of indifference can occur when someone retreats into their shell during tough times.

Activities they once enjoyed no longer bring them pleasure or excitement.

Whether it’s painting, playing an instrument, or even spending time with their pets, people can start losing interest in their hobbies when going through a hardship.

It’s as if the colors of life have faded, leaving behind a monochrome existence.

Gently remind them of the joy these activities once brought them, but don’t pressure them to engage until they’re ready.

Their passion will rekindle when they begin to come out of their shell.

8) Neglecting personal care

During a tough time, it’s not uncommon for personal care to take a backseat.

It’s not a sign of laziness or disregard, but rather a symptom of their emotional state.

You might notice them:

• Skipping meals
• Having irregular sleep
• Neglecting their hygiene

Alternatively, they might wear the same clothes for days or avoid looking in the mirror.

This behavior is often a sign of their struggle to cope with daily life.

The energy they would normally use for self-care is being consumed by their emotional turmoil.

Offering to share a meal or go for a walk can be simple ways to encourage self-care without being intrusive.

9) Seeking comfort in familiarity

In times of turmoil, there’s something comforting about the familiar.

It serves as an anchor in the storm, providing a sense of stability and security.

You might notice them:

• Re-watching their favorite movies
• Listening to old songs on repeat
• Revisiting places that hold special memories

These familiar routines and experiences bring them solace and help them cope with their situation.

Recognize this behavior as a sign of their struggle and respect their need for familiarity as this can be a significant step in their healing process. 

Final thoughts

Retreating into a shell during tough times is a natural coping mechanism for many, allowing them the space to process, heal, and regain strength.

While these behaviors may seem subtle or even confusing, they often signal that someone is struggling, even if they’re not vocalizing it.

By understanding these signs, you can become more attuned to the emotional needs of those around you and offer support in a way that respects their need for space, while still showing that you care.

Sometimes, just being there—without pushing—can make all the difference in helping someone through their toughest moments.