People who struggle to make friends at work often display these 8 behaviors (without realizing it)

If someone avoids the water cooler, they might be shy, if someone keeps to their desk during lunch, they might be introverted.

Work can be a place of collaboration and camaraderie, but for some, forming genuine friendships in the workplace can feel like an uphill battle.

But, things are more complex than they appear—the human psyche is a labyrinth, and understanding why some folks struggle with workplace friendships can be a challenge.

Often, it’s not just a matter of luck or timing; subtle behaviors can create barriers to connection without the person even realizing it.

Yet, there are clear patterns; many who find it hard to make friends at work often display these 8 behaviors—without even realizing it!

1) Sticking to their comfort zone

There’s a saying that goes, “Better safe than sorry.”

Well, some folks live by it at work.

They stick to their desks like glue, avoiding any social interaction that isn’t strictly work-related; they find comfort in their own space and routine.

However, this behavior often comes off as aloof or uninterested, making it harder for them to connect with their colleagues.

It’s a self-imposed barrier that unwittingly hinders the formation of friendships.

People who struggle to make friends at work often remain within their comfort zones, thereby limiting their interactions and opportunities to form connections.

2) Avoiding small talk

I remember a former colleague of mine, let’s call him Joe.

Joe was a man of few words, preferring to keep his thoughts to himself rather than sharing them with others.

Small talk? Not his cup of tea.

He would always get straight to the point during conversations, and casual chit-chat seemed like a foreign concept to him.

This behavior, however, often made him seem unapproachable.

People felt like he was hard to get to know and that he wasn’t interested in forming personal connections.

Unwittingly, his dislike for small talk created a barrier between him and potential friends at work.

Avoiding small talk might be one of the reasons why some people find it challenging to make friends in the workplace—others may just be perceiving them as unfriendly because of it.

3) Preferring digital communication

In today’s digital age, it’s not uncommon to see people opting for emails or instant messages over face-to-face conversations; it’s quick, efficient, and allows us to multitask.

However, workplace friendships often thrive on personal interactions; the small chat while waiting for the coffee machine or a quick catch-up in the hallway can strengthen relationships in ways that digital communication fails to do.

Those who prefer digital communication over personal interactions might unknowingly create a sense of detachment from their colleagues.

4) Not participating in team activities

Workplace friendships aren’t just forged at the desk or during lunch breaks.

They’re also built during team building activities, office parties, or even casual after-work drinks.

For some, these activities might seem like a chore or an unnecessary distraction from work.

They might opt to head straight home after work, or bury themselves in their tasks while their colleagues go bowling.

However, by not participating in these team activities, they’re missing out on valuable opportunities to connect with their colleagues on a personal level.

It unintentionally sends out a message that they’re not interested in being part of the team, making it harder for them to form friendships at work.

5) Keeping personal life separate

Now, I’m a firm believer in keeping some boundaries between work and personal life, but I’ve noticed that total segregation can make it hard to form close friendships at work.

I had a colleague who would never share anything about their personal life.

The moment work ended, they would pack up their things and leave without engaging in any social conversation.

While it’s important to maintain professionalism, sharing bits and pieces about one’s personal life can help others see a person as more relatable and human.

If they’re always keeping things strictly business, it might be hard for others to connect with them on a deeper level.

6) Being too helpful

It’s great to be the go-to person at work, always ready to lend a hand or share one’s expertise, but there’s a fine line between being helpful and becoming the office doormat.

People who constantly offer their assistance without any boundaries may find themselves being taken advantage of.

Their colleagues might begin to see them more as a resource rather than a potential friend.

Strangely enough, by always being the one to help out, they might unintentionally create a dynamic that hinders the formation of mutual and equal friendships at work.

7) Not showing vulnerability

In a professional environment, it’s often tempting to put on a facade of perfection.

After all, who doesn’t want to be seen as competent and in control?

But, let’s face it, that’s what being human is all about—making mistakes, having off days, and facing challenges.

If they’re always trying to appear perfect, it can be hard for others to relate to them.

Showing vulnerability by admitting when they’re unsure or when they’ve made a mistake can actually make them more approachable.

It helps build trust and authenticity, key ingredients in forming strong friendships at work.

8) Lack of empathy

At the end of the day, empathy is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, including those at work.

If a person struggles to understand and share the feelings of others, it can be challenging for them to form strong connections.

Empathy allows people to see things from another’s perspective; it helps them understand their actions and reactions, making them more compassionate and supportive.

Without empathy, it’s easy to misinterpret intentions, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts—this can create a divide between them and their colleagues, making it difficult to form friendships at work.

Final thoughts

If you’ve made it this far, you know that making friends at work goes beyond shared lunches or casual chats.

It’s about being open, empathetic, and stepping out of your comfort zone; it involves participating in team activities, showing vulnerability, and balancing helpfulness with boundaries.

Above all, it’s understanding that your colleagues are people with feelings and struggles, just like you.

Embracing this makes you not only a better coworker but a better friend, listener, and person!

Ultimately, it’s all about your personal growth.