People who were smothered by their parents as a child usually develop these 7 traits later in life

When you were a kid, were your parents always hovering, always wanting to know your every move? Or maybe your parents loved you just a little too much? 

Well, it turns out, that smothering parenting style may have actually left some lasting impacts on your personality.

Overly smothering parents may think they’re protecting their children, but in reality, they’re limiting their development.

Research suggests that children raised by overly controlling or intrusive parents often develop specific personality traits that follow them into adulthood.

 These traits can impact relationships, work, and personal growth.

In this article, we’ll explore seven common traits people tend to develop when they’ve been smothered by their parents.

1) Difficulty making decisions

Ever find yourself in a pickle when it comes to making choices?

Well, it might not be all on you.

According to psychologists, when parents micromanage every aspect of their child’s life, it often results in an adult who struggles with decision-making.

Think about it.

If you’ve always had someone else making decisions for you, how could you possibly learn to trust your own judgement?

As a result, these individuals might find themselves feeling lost or overwhelmed when faced with choices, big or small.

So, if you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, know that it’s not a flaw – it’s a trait that can be understood and worked on.

2) Overly anxious

“Did I turn the stove off?” “What if I said something wrong?” “What if they don’t like me?”

Do these worries sound familiar?

I’ll let you in on a little secret, they certainly do to me.

Growing up, my mom and dad were always worrying about everything.

They meant well, but their constant fretting rubbed off on me.

As an adult, I’ve found myself battling anxiety more often than not.

And guess what?

True enough, research suggests that children of overprotective parents are more likely to have poor coping skills and higher levels of stress, anxiety and depression.

Makes sense, doesn’t it? If you’re constantly surrounded by worry and fear as a child, it’s likely to become a part of your adult personality.

3) Craving for independence

Have you ever felt a burning desire to break free, to explore, to just be on your own?

This is something that often happens as a result of overinvolved parenting. 

You see, being under the watchful eye of overbearing parents often triggers a deep-seated need for independence in many individuals.

It’s like being a bird in a cage. You love your home, but there’s this innate urge to spread your wings and fly.

This urge doesn’t diminish but instead grows stronger with time.

It’s not that you’re ungrateful or dismissive towards your parents, but you do want to find your own footing in the world.

So, if you find yourself longing for a sense of freedom and autonomy, it could be a response to the close monitoring you experienced during your childhood.

4) Struggle with intimacy

Intimacy is another area where children of overly protective parents often struggle.

Why, you ask?

Well, constantly being under surveillance can make a person feel like they need to be on guard.

This defensive mechanism, which was once a survival strategy, can extend into adulthood.

It then becomes challenging to let people in, to be vulnerable, to trust.

 They’ve spent so much time in an environment where their boundaries were set for them—usually very strict and non-negotiable—that they never had the opportunity to develop their own.

So, when they enter a relationship, they might struggle to open up or allow someone else to get close.

Vulnerability, after all, requires trust and the ability to let someone see the parts of you that aren’t perfect or polished.

But for someone who grew up with protective parents, that level of exposure can feel terrifying.

The idea of letting someone in might trigger fears of being judged, controlled, or hurt.

5) Perfectionism

Research suggests that a high level of parental control can lead to perfectionism in children.

When parents constantly step in, fix things, and strive for their child’s life to be perfect, it sends a subtle message.

The child begins to believe that they need to be perfect to be accepted or loved.

This can morph into an adult who is relentlessly self-critical and afraid of making mistakes.

So, if you’re always beating yourself up for not being ‘perfect’, remember, it’s okay to be human, to err, and to learn from your mistakes. 

This brings me to the next point…

6) Fear of failure

That constant stepping in and fixing things for children is actually more harmful than helpful.

When parents swoop in at the first sign of trouble, it deprives the child of the chance to learn from their mistakes.

The child then develops an intense fear of failure, for lack of experience at failing. 

Fast forward to adulthood and this fear can become paralyzing, preventing them from taking risks or stepping out of their comfort zone.

Remember, it’s okay to fail. In fact, some of the greatest lessons in life come from our failures.

So, take a deep breath, gather your courage, and step into the unknown. You’re stronger than you think.

7) Difficulty setting boundaries

Lastly, the idea of healthy boundaries might be such a strange concept for someone smothered by their parents as a child.

It’s easy to see why. Growing up with parents who didn’t respect your need for personal space can make it hard for you to imagine what a life with boundaries looks like.

And that’s why it’s a struggle to establish those boundaries as an adult.

You might find yourself constantly saying yes when you want to say no, feeling guilty for taking time for yourself, or allowing others to overstep your boundaries.

Look, setting boundaries is not selfish. It’s an act of self-care and respect for your own needs.

You have every right to protect your peace and prioritize your well-being.

Final thoughts

Looking back, it’s clear how our childhood experiences shape us.

If you relate to any of these traits, remember that you’re not alone, and there’s always room for growth.

Overcoming the effects of smothering parenting may take time, but with effort and self-compassion, you can learn to build stronger boundaries and trust your own instincts.

The past doesn’t have to define your future—by acknowledging these patterns, you can take control and foster the independence and confidence you might have missed in your earlier years.