People with low emotional intelligence display these 9 behaviors (without realizing it)

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a crucial element when it comes to understanding and managing one’s emotions, as well as interacting effectively with others.

Some people, however, may have low EI without even realizing it. They tend to display certain behaviors that may seem normal to them but are actually indicators of their emotional unawareness.

It’s important to recognize these signs, not just in others but also in ourselves. It’s the first step towards improvement.

Here are nine behaviors often exhibited by those with low emotional intelligence. Let’s dive in.

1) Struggling with empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a key element of emotional intelligence.

People with low EI often struggle with empathy. They might find it hard to grasp why someone is upset or what they’re going through. This isn’t because they’re uncaring or cold-hearted. They simply don’t have the emotional toolkit to comprehend others’ feelings.

This lack of empathy can lead to misunderstandings and strained relationships. It can make it difficult for these individuals to provide emotional support when it’s needed, even when they genuinely want to help.

It’s about learning to walk in others’ shoes, to see the world from their perspective. And remember, it’s a skill that can be learned and developed, not a fixed trait.

2) Difficulty in expressing feelings

Another sign of low emotional intelligence is difficulty in expressing feelings. This is something I’ve personally grappled with.

I remember a time when I was feeling particularly stressed out at work. Deadlines were piling up, and I felt a constant pressure to perform. But instead of acknowledging my stress, I would brush it off saying, “I’m just tired” or “I’ve got a lot on my plate.”

This wasn’t because I was trying to hide my feelings. I genuinely didn’t realize that what I was actually feeling was stress. And because I couldn’t accurately identify my emotions, I couldn’t effectively manage them.

This behavior is common in people with low EI. They might struggle to put their feelings into words or misidentify their emotions altogether. And as a result, they’re more likely to react impulsively or make decisions based on misunderstood emotions.

Understanding and accurately expressing our emotions is a critical aspect of emotional intelligence. It’s something that requires self-awareness and practice, but it’s definitely achievable.

3) Neglecting non-verbal cues

Emotions aren’t just expressed through words. As much as 55% of communication is delivered through non-verbal cues like facial expressions, body language, and gestures.

Those with low emotional intelligence often overlook these non-verbal signals. They might miss a friend’s subtle facial expression that indicates discomfort or fail to pick up on a colleague’s closed-off body language during a meeting.

This can lead to miscommunication and misunderstandings. It might seem like they’re not listening or don’t care, but in reality, they’re not picking up on these non-verbal cues.

Improving emotional intelligence involves becoming more attuned to these non-verbal signals. It’s about understanding that communication extends beyond just words.

4) Quick to judge

People with low emotional intelligence can be quick to judge others. They tend to form opinions without taking the time to understand the full picture or considering others’ feelings.

This could be due to their struggle with empathy. Without being able to understand others’ emotions, they might make snap judgments based on limited information.

This behavior can damage relationships and cause unnecessary conflict. It’s important to remember that everyone has their own story, their own emotions, and their own reasons for acting the way they do.

Improving emotional intelligence involves practicing patience and empathy, and refraining from quick judgments. It’s about giving others the benefit of the doubt, and seeking to understand before seeking to be understood.

5) Difficulty handling criticism

Receiving criticism can be tough, but it’s a part of life. Those with low emotional intelligence, however, often find it particularly hard to handle.

Instead of seeing criticism as a chance to grow and improve, they might take it personally or respond defensively. They can view it as an attack on their character, rather than constructive feedback.

This is often due to a lack of self-awareness and emotional understanding. They struggle to separate their feelings from the feedback, which can lead to defensiveness and conflict.

Developing emotional intelligence involves learning to accept criticism gracefully. It’s about seeing it as a tool for growth, not a personal attack. It’s not easy, but with practice, anyone can improve their response to criticism.

6) Difficulty forming deep connections

The ability to form deep, meaningful connections is a beautiful part of being human. It helps us feel understood, supported, and cherished. But for those with low emotional intelligence, this can be a real challenge.

They might struggle to open up about their feelings, or fail to fully understand and empathize with the emotions of others. This can result in relationships that lack depth and emotional intimacy.

It’s not that they don’t desire these connections. Often, it’s just that they don’t have the emotional skills to navigate them effectively.

Improving one’s emotional intelligence enables us to better understand and express our own emotions, as well as empathize with others. This is the foundation of deep, meaningful relationships. Remember, it’s never too late to learn and grow emotionally.

7) Difficulty in managing stress

There was a time when stress used to get the best of me. A looming deadline or a challenging task would send my mind into overdrive. I would find myself dwelling on the problem, unable to focus on anything else.

This is a common trait among people with low emotional intelligence. They struggle to manage stress effectively, often letting it consume their thoughts and affect their performance.

This isn’t about not being strong enough. It’s about lacking the emotional skills needed to manage stress effectively.

Enhancing emotional intelligence involves learning stress management techniques like mindfulness, deep breathing, and cognitive reframing. With practice, we can all become better at handling stress.

8) Poor listening skills

Good listening goes beyond just hearing the words someone says. It involves understanding their emotions, their intentions, and their perspective.

People with low emotional intelligence often struggle with this. They might interrupt others, get distracted easily during conversations, or miss out on key emotional cues.

This lack of listening can lead to misunderstandings and can make others feel unheard or unimportant. It’s not that they don’t care, but they might lack the emotional skills to listen effectively.

Improving emotional intelligence involves honing our listening skills. It’s about giving others our full attention, picking up on non-verbal cues, and seeking to understand before responding.

9) Resistance to change

Change is a natural part of life. It brings about growth and new opportunities. However, those with low emotional intelligence often resist change.

They might struggle to adapt to new situations or feel overwhelmed by unfamiliar circumstances. This resistance often stems from a fear of the unknown and an inability to manage the emotions associated with change.

Embracing change and managing the emotions it brings is a key aspect of emotional intelligence. It’s about facing the unknown with courage and resilience, and seeing change as an opportunity for growth. No matter where you are on your emotional intelligence journey, remember, it’s never too late to embrace change.

Final thoughts: Emotional intelligence is a journey

Emotional intelligence isn’t about being nice all the time. It’s not about suppressing emotions or always being calm under pressure. It’s about being aware of your emotions and managing them effectively. It’s about understanding others’ emotions and showing empathy.

While some people may naturally have more emotional intelligence than others, these are skills that everyone can improve on.

Whether it’s recognizing your own emotional patterns, developing empathy for others, or learning how to handle stress, every step you take towards improving your emotional intelligence will contribute to better relationships, personal growth, and an overall improved quality of life.

Remember, emotional intelligence is a journey, not a destination. It’s never too late to embark on this path of self-awareness and growth.