7 phrases men use when they lack empathy and compassion for others

Empathy and compassion are essential for healthy communication and relationships.

However, there are times when people say things that reveal a lack of these traits, often without realizing the impact of their words.

Certain phrases can come across as dismissive, invalidating, or even hurtful, especially when someone is going through a difficult time.

These subtle comments may seem harmless, but they can show a deeper issue of not understanding or valuing others’ emotions.

In this article, we’ll explore 7 phrases men often use that show a lack of empathy and compassion.

1) “Man up”

This phrase is a common one, often used in the context of urging someone to be strong or brave. It’s usually thrown around as a harmless motivational tool.

However, the problem lies in its underlying message. It suggests that showing emotion or vulnerability is not ‘manly’, and therefore should be suppressed.

In reality, this phrase can belittle a person’s feelings and experiences, making them feel invalidated or dismissed. It shows a lack of empathy and understanding of their emotional state.

While it might be said with good intentions, it’s important to recognize how this phrase can be damaging.

Rather than promoting strength, it can foster emotional suppression and discourage open communication about feelings.

2) “That’s not a big deal”

I recall a time when a friend shared his anxiety about a looming deadline at work. In an attempt to reassure him, I found myself saying, “That’s not a big deal, you’ve handled tougher situations before.”

Reflecting on it later, I realized my words, though meant to comfort, might have come off as dismissive. Instead of acknowledging his stress and offering emotional support, I downplayed his feelings.

The phrase “That’s not a big deal” can trivialize someone’s experiences and feelings, making them feel unheard or misunderstood.

It inadvertently sends the message that their emotions are not valid or important enough.

In hindsight, a better response would have been to simply listen and express an understanding of his situation.

Sometimes, showing empathy is about validating feelings rather than trying to solve the problem.

3) “I don’t see why you’re so upset”

This phrase is a classic example of lack of empathy.

It suggests that if the speaker doesn’t feel the same way about a situation, the other person’s feelings are illogical or irrational.

Interestingly, a study found that people often overestimate their ability to accurately interpret others’ emotions.

This means we might think we know how someone else should feel, but our perspective could be skewed by our own experiences and biases.

When we say “I don’t see why you’re so upset”, we’re failing to acknowledge that each person’s emotional reaction to a situation can be different based on their individual experiences and perspectives.

Instead of questioning someone’s emotional response, try empathizing with their feelings or asking them to help you understand their perspective better.

4) “Just get over it”

This phrase, though it might sound like tough love, can actually be quite detrimental. It’s as if we’re telling the person that their feelings aren’t valid or important enough to be addressed.

In essence, “Just get over it” is a quick dismissal of someone’s emotional state. It’s a failure to acknowledge their pain and the time they may need to heal or process things.

Everyone processes emotions at their own pace. Being compassionate and understanding about this fact can make a significant difference in the way we communicate with others.

5) “You’re too sensitive”

A while back, during a heated argument, I was told, “You’re too sensitive.” The comment stung. It felt like my emotions were being criticized like it was wrong to feel the way I did.

This phrase can be particularly harmful as it labels the person’s emotional response as an overreaction. It can lead to feelings of self-doubt and make them question their emotional responses in the future.

Instead of labeling someone as ‘too sensitive’, it’s more compassionate to acknowledge their feelings and discuss the issue at hand without criticism.

After all, sensitivity is not a weakness but a trait that allows us to understand and connect with others on a deeper level.

6) “It’s not the end of the world”

While this phrase might be an attempt to provide perspective, it can often feel dismissive. It minimizes the person’s feelings and the significance of their situation.

Instead of providing comfort, it can leave them feeling belittled and misunderstood. Their problem might not be the end of the world, but it’s important enough to them to cause distress.

A more empathetic approach would be to acknowledge their feelings, validate their experience, and offer help if needed.

A problem might seem small from the outside, but for the person going through it, it can feel quite monumental.

7) “Stop overthinking”

Telling someone to “stop overthinking” is like asking them to stop a train in its tracks—it’s not that simple.

Overthinking often stems from anxiety or worry, and it’s not something that can be switched off at will.

This phrase fails to provide any real solution or comfort. Instead, it can make the person feel more stressed or anxious about their inability to control their thoughts.

The most crucial thing to understand here is that empathy and compassion involve acknowledging someone’s feelings, not trying to control or dismiss them.

It’s about being present, holding space for their emotions, and offering support without judgment. That’s the kind of emotional intelligence we should all strive for.

Final thoughts

Words have power, and when used carelessly, they can harm relationships and push people away.

The phrases discussed in this article are often used without ill intent, but they still carry the potential to hurt, dismiss, or belittle someone’s emotional experience.

Learning to replace these responses with more thoughtful, compassionate communication can transform the way we relate to others.

True empathy isn’t about solving someone’s problem or telling them how to feel; it’s about being there, listening, and showing that their feelings matter.

By adopting a more empathetic approach, we create an environment of trust and understanding, strengthening our connections and fostering genuine relationships.