8 phrases only genuinely self-centered people use, says a psychologist

If you’ve interacted with someone who is genuinely self-centered, then you’re probably aware of how their words can be uniquely revealing.

These individuals often use certain phrases that can leave you feeling overlooked or misunderstood. They might dismiss your feelings, talk excessively about themselves, or struggle to show empathy.

Being self-centered isn’t a conscious decision for everyone. According to psychologists, it’s often a dynamic personality trait that can be deeply ingrained.

Understanding the language of self-centered people can be a useful tool in navigating these relationships and maintaining your own boundaries.

1) “I don’t see why this is such a big deal”

This phrase is a classic indicator of self-centered behavior. When someone uses it, they’re essentially dismissing your feelings or concerns.

For example, if you express frustration about them not respecting your time, they might respond with, “I don’t see why this is such a big deal”.

In doing so, they shift the blame onto you, making you question your own feelings and reactions. It’s a subtle way of saying that their perspective is the only one that matters.

Moreover, this phrase serves as a defense mechanism for self-centered people to avoid acknowledging their own shortcomings or mistakes.

It’s not really about your feelings or the issue at hand – it’s about maintaining their self-image and control.

By recognizing this phrase for what it is, you can better protect your own feelings and boundaries without getting entangled in their dismissive narrative.

You’re not overreacting; they’re just reluctant to see things from any perspective other than their own.

2) “Sorry, I wasn’t listening”

This phrase may seem straightforward, even polite. After all, they’re admitting they weren’t paying attention, right?

However, repeated use of this phrase can indicate a self-centered attitude.

Imagine sharing something meaningful or important with someone and their response is, “Sorry, I wasn’t listening”.

It’s a clear signal that whatever you were saying was not deemed significant enough for them to pay attention.

While it’s human nature to occasionally zone out during conversations, consistent disregard for what others say is a trait of self-centeredness.

It sends the message that their thoughts or interests are more important than yours.

3) “But enough about you, let’s talk about me”

This phrase might not always be said verbatim, but a self-centered person will often steer the conversation back to themselves.

This could be because they believe their experiences, opinions, or feelings are more valuable or interesting than yours.

According to studies the human brain naturally focuses on self-interest; it’s a survival mechanism.

However, in social interactions, this focus should balance out with empathy and interest in others. When someone consistently redirects the conversation to themselves, it suggests a lack of this balance.

This behavior doesn’t always mean they don’t care about you or your experiences.

It might just be that they’re more comfortable talking about themselves or they’re unaware of their tendency to dominate the conversation.

However, a key part of healthy communication is giving and taking – listening as well as speaking. If you notice a consistent pattern of one-sided conversations, it might indicate self-centeredness.

4) “I’m just being honest”

Honesty is generally appreciated, but when it’s used as a cloak for hurtful comments or criticism, it can become a tool of self-centered individuals.

When someone frequently uses the phrase “I’m just being honest”, it often means they’re prioritizing their own feelings and opinions over the potential emotional impact on others.

Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and sometimes, what they say might indeed be a hard truth.

But there’s a fine line between being honest and being insensitive. It’s about how it’s said, not just what is said.

5) “I just don’t have the time”

Many of us have undoubtedly said or heard this phrase at some point.

Life gets busy, and sometimes, we genuinely don’t have the time for certain things.

However, when someone consistently uses this phrase as an excuse to avoid responsibilities or commitments, it might indicate self-centeredness.

“I just don’t have the time” can often translate to “I don’t want to make the time”. It’s a way for self-centered individuals to prioritize their own interests and needs over those of others.

Time is a precious resource, and how we choose to spend it can say a lot about our values and priorities.

If someone frequently claims they don’t have time for others or their needs, it might be because they’re more focused on themselves. 

6) “I did you a favor”

This phrase might ring a bell if you’ve ever dealt with someone who keeps score in relationships. I remember a friend who would always remind me of the times she helped me out, as if she was keeping a tally.

Every favor or act of kindness was followed by this phrase – “I did you a favor”.

Self-centered individuals might use this phrase to remind you of their ‘generosity’, often expecting something in return.

They may view relationships as transactions, where every act of kindness must be reciprocated or even repaid.

This approach undermines the very essence of kindness, which is about giving without expecting anything in return.

7) “You’re too sensitive”

Being told you’re too sensitive can be a tough pill to swallow, especially when it’s used as a dismissive response to your feelings or concerns.

When someone labels you as ‘too sensitive’, they’re effectively invalidating your feelings and shifting the blame onto you.

Let’s be clear here: there is no such thing as being ‘too sensitive’.

Your feelings are valid, and they matter.

If someone constantly uses this phrase as a response to your emotions or reactions, it might be because they’re unwilling to accept responsibility for their actions or words.

8) “I know best”

This phrase is the hallmark of a self-centered individual.

When someone consistently asserts that they “know best”, it implies that they believe their judgment or perspective is superior to others.

It’s perfectly fine to have confidence in your own knowledge and abilities. However, when it crosses over to dismissing or invalidating the opinions and experiences of others, it becomes an issue.

The most crucial thing to remember is this: everyone has unique perspectives and experiences that shape their understanding of the world. No one person “knows best” in every situation.

In a healthy relationship, there should be room for discussion, compromise, and mutual respect.

Conclusion

Recognizing and understanding self-centered behavior is an important step in navigating relationships and preserving your own emotional well-being.

This article has shown you some key phrases that can help identify self-centered individuals, but remember, we’re all human, and we all have our moments of self-focus.

It’s when these moments become a consistent pattern that it may be cause for concern.

The power to handle such situations effectively lies with you. It’s about setting boundaries, maintaining your self-respect, and understanding where the other person is coming from.

Here’s to fostering healthier relationships and a deeper understanding of those around us.

Always remember: your feelings matter, your voice is important, and you have every right to express yourself.