Psychology says that if your partner does these 8 things, they are sorely lacking in emotional intelligence

If you’ve been with a partner who consistently reacts in ways that seem overly emotional or just plain irrational, you may be dealing with someone who lacks emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence, or EQ, isn’t something we’re born with. It’s a skill that needs to be learned and nurtured over time.

Being with someone who’s low in EQ can make things pretty tricky.

You might notice them frequently misinterpreting your feelings, or maybe they struggle to handle their own emotions effectively.

This isn’t just a personality quirk. It’s a psychological concept that could have a significant impact on your relationship.

Understanding the signs of low emotional intelligence can help navigate these challenges.

Let’s dive in and uncover what psychology says about it.

1) They struggle to empathize

If your partner often fails to understand your feelings or shows little concern for your emotional state, this could be a sign of low emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence involves the ability to empathize, to truly understand and share the feelings of others. But if your partner regularly misunderstands or dismisses your emotions, they might be lacking in this area.

For instance, if you’re upset about something and your partner’s response is to tell you that you’re overreacting or being too sensitive, rather than trying to understand why you feel the way you do, they may be showing a lack of emotional intelligence.

This doesn’t mean they’re a bad person, but it might suggest they need to work on their EQ skills.

Being able to empathize is crucial in a relationship, as it allows both partners to feel understood and valued.

2) They’re excellent problem solvers

You might think being a great problem solver is a sign of high emotional intelligence, but it’s not always the case. In fact, it can sometimes indicate the opposite.

If your partner is quick to jump to solutions without acknowledging the emotions involved in a situation, they could be showing a lack of emotional intelligence.

Emotions aren’t problems to be solved, they’re experiences to be understood.

For example, if you’re feeling stressed about work and your partner immediately starts offering advice on how to tackle your tasks, instead of empathizing with your stress, they’re overlooking the emotional aspect of the situation.

Emotional intelligence involves understanding and validating emotions before moving on to problem-solving.

If your partner is skipping this first step, it might be because they lack emotional intelligence. While their intent may be good, their approach might leave you feeling misunderstood or invalidated.

3) They struggle with self-awareness

Does your partner find it hard to identify and communicate their feelings? This could actually be a sign of low emotional intelligence.

Self-awareness is a key component of emotional intelligence. It involves recognizing and understanding our own emotions, and how they affect our thoughts and behavior.

For instance, if your partner often seems unsure about why they’re upset or can’t explain why they reacted a certain way, it could be because they’re not in tune with their emotions.

They might also react impulsively or unexpectedly because they’re not aware of what they’re feeling until it’s too late.

This ability to identify and manage our own emotions is a skill that can significantly influence our mental well-being and the quality of our relationships.

4) They struggle to handle criticism

We all know that criticism can be hard to swallow at times, and it’s no different for your partner.

But if they often react defensively or aggressively to constructive feedback, it might be a sign that their emotional intelligence could use some fine-tuning.

Emotionally intelligent people understand that criticism, when given constructively, is an opportunity for growth and improvement.

They’re able to separate their self-worth from the feedback and see it as a chance to learn, not as a personal attack.

But if your partner tends to take criticism personally and responds with defensiveness or hostility, it can make open and honest communication difficult.

5) They have difficulty maintaining friendships

We’ve all experienced the ups and downs of friendships. They’re a natural part of life.

But if your partner seems to have a pattern of short-lived friendships or a lack of close friends, it could be a sign of low emotional intelligence.

Emotionally intelligent people tend to cultivate and maintain close relationships. They’re able to understand and manage their own emotions and empathize with others, which are crucial skills in building strong, lasting friendships.

6) They often miss social cues

Ever been in a situation where someone tells a joke and everyone is laughing but one person just doesn’t seem to get it? I’ve been there too, and it’s a bit awkward.

If your partner often finds themselves in these situations, they might be lacking in emotional intelligence.

Understanding social cues, such as body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions, is a key aspect of emotional intelligence. These cues can give us a lot of information about how someone is feeling.

If your partner often seems clueless about the mood of the room or struggles to pick up on these non-verbal signals, they might not be as emotionally intelligent as you thought.

7) They’re not great at handling their emotions

Let’s face it, we all have moments when we let our emotions get the best of us. But if your partner constantly struggles to manage their feelings, especially during conflict, it’s a clear signal that they’re lacking in emotional intelligence.

An emotionally intelligent person has the ability to control their emotions rather than letting their emotions control them.

They can stay calm and composed even in heated situations, and they don’t let anger or frustration cloud their judgment.

If your partner frequently loses their cool, reacts impulsively or lets negative emotions dictate their actions, it’s a problem. It’s not only damaging to your relationship, but also to their own mental health.

8) They may not realize their lacking in emotional intelligence

One of the trickiest things about low emotional intelligence is that those who lack it often don’t realize it.

Your partner may not see their behavior as a problem, or they might believe they’re already emotionally savvy.

The thing to remember here is that it’s not about blaming or shaming your partner. Rather, it’s about understanding where they’re coming from and helping them to grow.

Emotional intelligence is a skill that can be developed with time and practice.

So, if your partner shows these signs, don’t lose hope. With patience, understanding and possibly professional help, they can learn to improve their emotional intelligence and strengthen your relationship in the process.