9 questions to ask yourself if you really want to heal your inner-child, according to psychology

As humans, we all have a deep need for nurturance, love, and respect—especially from within ourselves.

But when our inner child carries unresolved pain, it can show up as feelings of unworthiness, self-doubt, or insecurity.

The inner child represents the part of us still shaped by childhood experiences, both joyful and painful.

Nurturing this part is crucial, especially if past wounds need healing.

Psychology offers powerful questions to help reconnect with and heal our inner child, offering clarity and understanding along the way.

In this piece, we’ll dive into these questions and provide guidance on how you can begin your healing journey, one step at a time.

1) Am I acknowledging my past?

Acknowledging the past may not always be a walk in the park.

It can be uncomfortable, painful, and sometimes, outright scary.

Yet, it is often the first step towards healing your inner child.

This means being honest about your childhood experiences—the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It’s not about dwelling on past traumas or setbacks, but rather accepting that they happened and recognizing how they might have affected you.

You might notice certain patterns in your life that stem from these experiences.

For example, if you were constantly criticized as a child, you might have developed a harsh inner critic, or if you felt neglected, you might struggle with feelings of unworthiness.

Acknowledging isn’t about blaming or resenting, it’s about understanding and accepting your journey.

It’s about realizing that these experiences have shaped you, but they don’t define you.

2) Do I listen to my inner child?

Listening to your inner child is akin to tuning in to your deep-seated feelings and emotions.

It’s the small voice inside you that expresses your needs, desires, and fears.

This voice might be quiet, almost like a whisper or it might be loud and clear.

It could express itself through emotions like joy, sadness, anger, or fear.

Maybe you feel a sudden surge of happiness when you see a swing set in a park, reminding you of carefree childhood days, or perhaps you feel an inexplicable sadness when you see a child being scolded, echoing your own experiences.

Listening to your inner child isn’t always easy.

It requires patience and openness.

It means allowing yourself to feel all the emotions, even the uncomfortable ones.

3) Can I allow myself to play?

As adults, we often neglect the playful aspect of our lives.

The serious business of “adulting” can sometimes overshadow the joy and freedom that playfulness brings.

But play isn’t just for children.

According to Psych Central, playing—as adults—is a crucial part of our lives, one that allows us to explore, imagine, and experience joy.

It’s about letting go of inhibitions and allowing ourselves to be spontaneous.

Perhaps it’s dancing in the rain, coloring in a coloring book, building a sandcastle, or simply breaking into impromptu singing sessions.

It doesn’t have to be structured or make sense.

Reconnecting with your inner child often requires reconnecting with that sense of playfulness.

4) Am I being compassionate to myself?

We can often be our own harshest critics.

We berate ourselves for mistakes, for not being “enough”, for not living up to expectations—ours or others’.

This lack of self-compassion can be especially damaging to our inner child, who needs love, acceptance, and understanding.

Are you punishing yourself for past mistakes? Are you holding onto guilt or regret? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate?

Being compassionate to yourself means acknowledging that you are human, that it’s okay to make mistakes, it’s okay to have flaws.

It means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend.

5) Do I give myself the love I need?

There’s a saying that we cannot pour from an empty cup.

This is especially true when it comes to self-love.

How often do you put others’ needs before your own? How often do you neglect your needs because you’re too busy, too tired, or feel it’s not important?

Your inner child needs love and care, just like any child would.

This means taking care of your emotional, physical, and mental well-being.

Whether it’s setting boundaries, saying no when you need to, taking time for self-care, or speaking kindly to yourself—these are all forms of self-love.

6) Can I forgive my past mistakes?

We’ve all made mistakes.

We’ve all had moments of regret, times when we wish we could go back and do things differently.

But dwelling on past mistakes and harboring regret only keeps us stuck in the past.

Your inner child may still be holding onto these regrets, feeling guilty or ashamed.

But remember, it’s through these mistakes that we learn and grow.

Forgiving your past doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened.

It means accepting that you did the best you could with the knowledge and resources you had at that time.

It’s about releasing the burden of guilt and shame and making peace with your past.

7) Do I allow myself to dream?

Remember when you were a child and you had dreams as big as the sky?

Maybe you wanted to be an astronaut, a ballerina, or a superhero.

It didn’t matter how unrealistic they may have seemed, what mattered was the joy and excitement they brought.

As adults, we often put these dreams aside—we might deem them impractical or childish, but these dreams are a part of who we are.

They reflect our passions, our hopes, and our desires.

Your inner child might still be holding onto these dreams.

So why not let them out?

Dream about traveling the world, about writing that book, or opening your own cafe.

It doesn’t matter how big or small they are!

8) Am I avoiding personal responsibility?

It’s easy to blame others for our problems or to play the victim in our own narrative.

This is a defense mechanism we often use to protect ourselves from pain or discomfort.

But at the end of the day, you are the one in charge of your life.

Your happiness, your peace, and your healing are your responsibility.

This isn’t about blaming yourself, but about acknowledging that you have the power to change your circumstances.

It’s about accepting that you might have been a victim in the past, but you don’t have to remain one.

Your inner child needs you to step up and take control of your healing process.

9) Am I committed to healing?

Healing is a journey, not a destination.

It takes time, patience, and commitment; it’s a process of self-discovery, self-love, and self-growth.

Your inner child deserves to heal, to feel loved, and to be free from past hurts.

But for that to happen, you need to be committed to the healing process—even when it gets tough.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for help—it’s okay to seek professional support if you need it, and it’s okay to take breaks when the journey gets overwhelming.

The most important thing you should remember is this: healing is possible.

It’s never too late to start the journey.

Reflecting on your journey

Embarking on the journey to heal your inner child is not a light task as it requires courage, patience, and commitment.

You’ve taken the time to ask yourself these crucial questions, and that in itself is a massive step towards healing.

As renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said, “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”

Healing begins with acceptance—of your past, of your feelings, and most importantly, of yourself.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed at times, it’s okay to take breaks, but it’s important to keep moving forward, asking questions, and staying committed to your healing journey.

This isn’t a quick fix, but an invitation to reflect on your experiences and emotions.

By asking these questions, you’re recognizing your inner child and offering them the love and compassion they need.

Healing isn’t a straight path; there will be setbacks and moments of feeling stuck, but if you remain committed, you’re on the right track.

Each step you take is a step toward becoming the best version of yourself.

You are enough, you are worthy, and your inner child is cheering you on!