8 types of people who never deserve a second chance, according to psychology

As humans, we long for connections, respect, and a sense of safety in our relationships. However, there are instances when these desires are met with disappointment and pain instead.

Such encounters normally involve people who may not be worthy of a second chance due to their harmful behaviors.

According to psychology, there are specific types of individuals who are likely to repeat their damaging patterns regardless of the opportunities they receive to change.

In this article, we will delve into identifying these individuals. Recognizing their traits might help you avoid unnecessary heartbreak and mental strain. You deserve relationships that uplift you, not ones that constantly pull you down.

1. The perpetual victim

Being a perpetual victim is more than just having a series of unfortunate events. It’s a whole mindset where individuals tend to constantly blame others and circumstances for their own misfortunes, refusing to take responsibility for their actions.

You may notice this type in your life when they continually point fingers at others, never seeming to accept their part in any situation. They might always have a story about how someone did them wrong or how life is unfair to them.

Dealing with such individuals can be draining, especially when you realize that no matter how much energy you pour into helping them, they never seem to improve their situation.

You might find yourself constantly caught up in their drama or feeling guilty for circumstances beyond your control.

Unfortunately, giving these individuals second chances often leads to the same patterns repeating, because they refuse to learn from their mistakes or take steps to change their situation. Their refusal to take responsibility can lead to emotional exhaustion for those around them.

2. The chronic manipulator

Manipulation is often subtle and can be hard to spot, especially when you’re dealing with a chronic manipulator.

These individuals are experts at twisting situations and words to their advantage, making you question your own sanity – a tactic commonly referred to as gaslighting.

They are likely to make you feel guilty for things you haven’t done, or twist your words to make themselves appear as the victim. They can often use emotional blackmail, making you feel bad if you do not conform to their desires or meet their unreasonable demands.

The issue with giving second chances to such individuals is they tend to see it as a win – an affirmation that their manipulative tactics work. This could lead them to continue their harmful behavior, leaving you trapped in a cycle of manipulation and doubt. It’s important to understand that everyone deserves respect and honesty in their relationships.

3. The unrepentant cheater

Infidelity is a painful betrayal that many relationships struggle to recover from. When someone cheats, they shatter the trust that forms the bedrock of any committed relationship.

Now, it’s crucial to understand that people can make mistakes and change. A single instance of infidelity doesn’t necessarily brand someone as an “unrepentant cheater.”

However, when cheating becomes a pattern, or when the person shows no remorse for their actions, it’s a different story altogether.

The unrepentant cheater tends to repeat their behavior, often justifying their actions with excuses or blaming their partner. They may show little to no empathy towards the pain they cause, making it almost impossible for trust to be rebuilt.

Giving a second chance to such individuals often results in more heartbreak. Remember, you deserve a partner who respects you and values your relationship enough to remain faithful.

4. The constant critic

Everyone has flaws and areas for improvement, and constructive criticism from loved ones can help us grow. However, there’s a line between helpful feedback and constant, destructive criticism – a line that the constant critic doesn’t seem to recognize.

This person may always find something wrong with you or what you do. They might belittle your achievements, dismiss your feelings, or make you feel inadequate.

This constant negativity can chip away at your self-esteem over time, leaving you feeling worthless and unloved.

It’s essential to remember that everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. You are not defined by your flaws or mistakes, and no one has the right to make you feel otherwise.

If you do decide to give a constant critic a second chance, then keep this in mind: you’d be subjecting yourself to more negativity and damage to your self-worth. Instead, surround yourself with people who lift you up and appreciate you for who you are.

5. The ghoster

We’ve all likely experienced or heard of someone who has been ghosted. One moment you’re chatting, hanging out, and everything seems fine, then the next moment they’ve disappeared without a trace.

Ghosters show a clear lack of respect and consideration for the other person’s feelings. Instead of communicating their intentions, they take the easy way out and simply vanish, leaving you to question what went wrong.

The problem with giving a second chance to someone who has ghosted you is that it can set a precedent. It can signal to them that it’s acceptable to disappear whenever they feel like it and then reappear when it suits them, causing emotional turmoil and fostering insecurity.

A meaningful relationship relies on open communication and mutual respect. You deserve someone who values your feelings and is mature enough to communicate instead of disappearing at will.

6. The serial exaggerator

We all love a good story, especially when it’s told with a dash of drama and a sprinkle of excitement. But then there’s the serial exaggerator, who takes storytelling to a whole new level.

From their ‘extraordinary’ life experiences to their ‘out of this world’ achievements, everything seems larger than life. While it might initially seem entertaining or endearing, over time, it can become tiring and even misleading.

Serial exaggerators often struggle with honesty, frequently bending the truth for the sake of a good story or to impress others. The issue with giving second chances to these individuals is that it may encourage their behavior and lead to trust issues in the long run.

At the end of the day, honesty is key in any relationship. It’s not worth investing your energy in someone who doesn’t hold this value close to heart. 

7. The emotional vampire

An emotional vampire tends to suck the positive energy and happiness out of your life, leaving you feeling emotionally drained and exhausted. They’re often incredibly self-centered, with little to no regard for your feelings or needs.

You may find yourself constantly catering to their emotional demands, being guilt-tripped, or feeling like you’re walking on eggshells around them.

They might have a knack for turning every conversation into a discussion about their issues or problems, with no regard for your own.

As hard as it may be to accept, giving an emotional vampire a second chance often means signing up for more emotional exhaustion.

Real talk — you are not responsible for another person’s happiness or emotional well-being. It’s time to put yourself first. 

This brings me to the next and final point…

8. The one who doesn’t respect your boundaries

Boundaries are crucial in any relationship. They serve as guidelines for how you expect to be treated, what you’re comfortable with, and what’s a no-go area for you.

However, there are individuals who consistently ignore or disrespect these boundaries. They might press you into situations you’re not comfortable with, disregard your feelings, or make light of your concerns.

It’s crucial to understand that giving such individuals a second chance often leads to more boundary violations, because they may perceive it as your acceptance of their behavior.

The most important thing to remember is that your boundaries are valid, and you have every right to enforce them. You deserve to be in relationships where your personal boundaries are respected and valued. Don’t compromise on that.

Wrapping up

This article isn’t intended to label or diagnose anyone in your life. Instead, it serves as a guide to help you identify unhealthy behaviors and make informed decisions about the relationships you want to maintain.

Having one or two of these traits doesn’t necessarily make someone undeserving of a second chance. But if these behaviors are consistent and causing you distress, it might be time to evaluate if the relationship is genuinely beneficial for you.

Giving someone a second chance is a personal decision, one that requires a lot of thought and consideration. Yet, it’s important to remember that certain behaviors and patterns are unlikely to change, especially if the person sees no issue with their actions.

Ultimately, you need to prioritize your wellbeing and peace of mind over giving someone another chance.  Your emotional health and self-respect should always come first.