9 signs someone in your life has almost zero loyalties

Trust is the foundation of every meaningful relationship, and loyalty serves as its strongest support. But what happens when someone you care about consistently shows a lack of loyalty?

This isn’t about minor slip-ups, like forgetting a birthday or canceling plans. It’s about recognizing deeper patterns of behavior that reveal an absence of commitment or integrity. 

Ignoring these signs can lead to toxic dynamics that erode trust and mutual respect.

In this discussion, we’ll uncover key indicators that someone in your life might be lacking this critical trait. Understanding these warning signs can help you safeguard your emotional well-being and cultivate healthier connections. 

Let’s dive in as we explore the red flags to watch for.

1) Consistent unreliability

Loyalty is like a two-way street – it’s about being there for someone, just as they’re there for you. But what if someone in your life consistently fails to show up when you need them?

This could be a glaring sign of zero loyalty.

Consider this. You have a friend or family member who repeatedly bails on plans, forgets important dates, or doesn’t come through when you need support.

We’re not talking about the occasional mishap here. Life happens, and everyone messes up now and again.

But when someone is consistently unreliable, it’s a different story. It’s a clear sign that they don’t value the relationship and lack loyalty towards you.

This could be hard to accept, but recognizing these patterns early can save you from a lot of heartache down the line.

So watch out for those who are consistently unreliable – this could be a clear red flag waving in your face.

2) They’re always looking out for better options

Ever had a friend who constantly seems to be scanning the horizon for a better deal?

Yep, I’ve been there too.

I remember a time when I had a close friend called Mark. We would make plans, and everything seemed great until something “better” came up for him. Then, suddenly, our plans weren’t so important anymore.

For instance, once we had planned a movie night at my place. We had decided on the movie, ordered our favorite pizzas, and were all set for a fun evening.

But just an hour before he was supposed to arrive, Mark called to cancel. He had received an invite to a more happening party and decided to ditch our plans.

This wasn’t a one-off incident but a repeating pattern. Mark always seemed to be on the lookout for better options than spending time with me. It felt like he was always ready to drop our plans if something more exciting came along.

And that’s when I realized this is a sign of zero loyalty. Someone who truly values you and is loyal to you wouldn’t constantly look for better options or throw you aside when something more enticing comes up.

3) They don’t defend you in your absence

Imagine this scenario. You’ve just had a disagreement with a mutual friend, and you’re not around when the topic comes up in a conversation. 

Instead of standing up for you or at least presenting your side of the story, this person remains silent or even agrees with the negative comments about you.

This is a clear sign that their loyalty to you is questionable at best. A loyal friend or family member will defend you when you’re not present, or at least they won’t contribute to the negativity. 

It’s one thing to have a difference of opinion, but it’s entirely different to let someone unfairly criticize you without standing up for you.

So, if someone doesn’t defend you in your absence, it might be time to question their loyalty and their role in your life.

4) They’re never fully present with you

Mindfulness is a powerful tool, not just for personal growth, but also for building meaningful relationships. Being present in the moment with someone shows that you value and respect them.

But what if someone in your life never seems to be truly present with you?

Consider this: You’re having what you think is a meaningful conversation, but they’re constantly checking their phone, their eyes are wandering around the room, or they’re giving you monosyllabic responses. It feels like they’re physically there, but mentally and emotionally, they’re somewhere else.

This lack of mindfulness in your interactions could be a sign that they lack loyalty. If someone cannot invest their time and attention in you, how can they be expected to show loyalty when it truly matters?

Now, mindfulness is a skill that can be honed with practice, and it’s something I explore in my book “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”. In the book, I discuss how being present can transform our personal interactions and relationships.

If someone in your life is consistently disengaged during your interactions, it might not just be a coincidence. It could be a sign that their loyalty is not where it should be.

5) They’re overly agreeable with everything you say

Now, this might seem a bit counter-intuitive. You would expect a loyal person to agree with you, right? Well, not always.

Loyal friends and family members don’t just blindly agree with you. They challenge you, debate with you, and even disagree with you when they believe you’re wrong. This is because they care about you and your growth.

On the other hand, someone who is always agreeable might just be telling you what you want to hear. They could be trying to keep things pleasant on the surface while not genuinely caring about your wellbeing or growth.

So, paradoxically, if someone never disagrees with you, it might be a sign that they lack loyalty. It’s the loyal ones who aren’t afraid to challenge you because they genuinely care about you.

6) They share your secrets with others

Confiding in someone is a sign of trust, and keeping someone’s secrets is a fundamental show of loyalty. But what if the person you confided in goes on to share your secrets with others?

There’s nothing quite as hurtful as finding out that something you shared in confidence has become common knowledge, especially when it’s divulged by someone you trusted.

People  who are loyal to you respect your privacy and would never use your secrets against you or share them without your consent.

So if someone is recklessly spilling your secrets, it could be a stark indication that their loyalty is almost nonexistent. This kind of behavior is not just disloyal but also disrespectful, and it’s a clear sign that they don’t value your trust.

7) They don’t celebrate your successes

We all know that feeling of achieving something great and wanting to share the good news with our loved ones. Their happiness and pride in our achievements often amplify our joy. 

But what if someone in your life doesn’t seem to share in your triumphs?

I’ve been in situations where I’ve achieved something significant, and while most of my friends and family were genuinely happy for me, there was always that one person who seemed indifferent or even seemed to downplay my achievements.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but someone who doesn’t celebrate your successes could be showing signs of zero loyalty. They might be struggling with jealousy or insecurity, but that doesn’t excuse their lack of support.

A loyal person will always be there to cheer you on, celebrate your victories, and lift you up when you succeed. 

8) They’re quick to point out your flaws

Constructive criticism from a loved one can be helpful and is often a sign of care. However, if someone in your life is constantly highlighting your flaws and shortcomings, it could be a sign of zero loyalty.

People who are loyal to you will certainly point out areas where you could improve, but they’ll do it in a supportive and loving manner. They won’t use every opportunity to bring up your flaws or make you feel inadequate.

If someone is always quick to point out your mistakes, rarely offers any praise or positive feedback, and seems to take pleasure in highlighting your shortcomings, it might be an indication that their loyalty towards you is questionable.

Always remember, a loyal person builds you up; they don’t tear you down.

9) They disregard your feelings

Above all, if they consistently dismiss your emotions, make light of your concerns, or seem indifferent to your feelings, it’s a definite sign of a lack of loyalty.

Loyal people respect and value your emotions. They understand that your feelings are important and take them into account in their actions and words. They don’t trivialize your concerns or make you feel like your emotions are invalid.

If someone in your life consistently disregards your feelings, it’s the ultimate sign of zero loyalty. This behavior shows a lack of respect and consideration, which are key elements of loyalty.

At the heart of it: Self-respect

When it comes to human behavior, more often than not, there’s a deeper underlying reason. In the case of loyalty, or lack thereof, it fundamentally boils down to self-respect.

Recognizing signs of zero loyalty in someone is not just about understanding their behavior, but also about respecting yourself enough to not accept such treatment. It’s about knowing your worth and not letting anyone trample over it.

Understanding loyalty, its significance, and its absence can be a transformative process. It can help you establish healthier relationships and let go of those that bring you down.

In my book “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”, I delve into how mindfulness can help you navigate relationships and better understand human behavior. It provides practical tools to stay present and make conscious choices about who you let into your life.

Keep in mind, loyalty isn’t just about what you expect from others—it’s also about the standards you set for yourself. 

By recognizing the absence of loyalty, you open the door to creating relationships built on genuine trust, respect, and shared values. It’s a chance to foster connections that truly uplift and enrich your life.