9 signs you have a coworker who you probably shouldn’t trust, according to psychology

As professionals, it’s crucial we feel trusted, supported, and valued in our workplace. It’s these positive dynamics that foster a healthy work environment.

Unfortunately, not all coworkers contribute to this kind of atmosphere. Instead, you may find yourself dealing with a colleague who is manipulative, dishonest, or untrustworthy.

Navigating workplace relationships can be complex, especially when it comes to trust.

According to psychology, certain behaviors and traits can indicate that a coworker may not have your best interests at heart.

In this article, we’ll outline 9 key signs, backed by psychology, to help you spot a coworker you probably shouldn’t trust:

1) They spread rumors

Spreading rumors isn’t always as evident as a loud whispering session in the break room.

Sometimes, it can occur subtly, and incrementally, over the course of several weeks or months.

Often, when this happens, you don’t realize it until you see your reputation being tarnished or your relationships with other colleagues strained.

You might notice this coworker frequently shares insider information or ‘juicy details’ about others.

They may seem to have a knack for stirring the pot, always knowing something about someone that isn’t common knowledge.

This kind of behavior isn’t just unprofessional; it’s a clear sign that this coworker cannot be trusted with sensitive information, let alone your trust.

2) Inconsistencies in their story

People who are untrustworthy often have inconsistencies in their stories.

This isn’t as conspicuous as telling a blatant lie; it’s usually a slight deviation from the truth that’s hard to catch unless you’re paying close attention.

You may notice that the details of their stories change depending on who they are talking to.

One day, they may tell you about a project they single-handedly completed, but the next day, they might tell another coworker that it was a team effort.

In some cases, this coworker might have a habit of forgetting what they told you before and end up contradicting themselves.

They might blame it on having a bad memory, but these inconsistencies can be a sign they’re not being truthful.

This lack of consistency is one of the psychological indicators of deception.

3) They’re overly complimentary

Now, you might think that a coworker who constantly showers you with compliments is just being friendly.

After all, who doesn’t enjoy a little praise now and then?

However, excessive flattery can sometimes be a red flag.

You may observe that this coworker is always singing your praises, even when it’s not warranted.

They might compliment your work excessively or always agree with your opinions, even when everyone else disagrees.

While it may feel good to be appreciated, this over-the-top praise can often be a manipulation tactic.

They could be trying to win your favor or trust to serve their own interests.

If you notice that the compliments feel insincere or they’re only nice when they need something from you, it’s a sign that you should tread carefully with this coworker.

4) They never take responsibility

Let’s be honest here: We all make mistakes.

It’s a part of being human and a part of professional growth.

But a coworker who never owns up to their mistakes is a major red flag.

You may notice that whenever something goes wrong, this coworker always has someone else to blame.

It’s never their fault; it’s the faulty technology, the unclear instructions, or even worse—another unsuspecting colleague.

Even when faced with undeniable evidence, they might still find a way to deflect the blame or minimize their role in the situation.

This unwillingness to take responsibility doesn’t just show a lack of integrity; it also shows a lack of respect for their colleagues.

5) They lack empathy

In a perfect world, we’d all want to work with people who are caring and understanding.

People who can empathize with our challenges and celebrate our successes.

Unfortunately, not every coworker embodies these qualities.

You may have noticed this coworker seems indifferent to others’ feelings or struggles.

Maybe they dismiss your hard day as insignificant or show no interest when you share good news.

Perhaps they make insensitive remarks, disregarding the potential for hurt feelings.

Or they always seem to be focused on their own issues, with little regard for anyone else’s.

This lack of empathy doesn’t just make for an unpleasant coworker; it’s also a sign of someone who may not be trustful.

If they cannot show kindness and understanding towards others, it’s hard to believe they would respect your trust or confidentiality.

6) They’re always the victim

We’ve all had those days when nothing seems to go right, and it feels like the world is against us.

It’s a part of life. However, if you have a coworker who always seems to be the victim, it might be a sign of something more concerning.

This coworker could always have a sob story or a tale of how they were wronged.

Maybe they constantly feel targeted by the boss or believe their ideas are always shot down unfairly.

The problem arises when this victim mentality becomes their go-to narrative.

It can often be a manipulation tactic, used to gain sympathy or to shift blame away from themselves.

7) They’re a bit too competitive

A little healthy competition can be a great motivator in the workplace, keeping us on our toes and pushing us to do our best.

But what happens when a coworker takes it just a smidgen too far?

Maybe this coworker is always trying to one-up everyone else.

If you’ve stayed late to finish a project, they’ve stayed even later. If you’ve signed on a new client, they’ve signed on two.

Perhaps they even start a not-so-friendly rivalry, turning every task into a competition.

Their need to be the best doesn’t just stop at work accomplishments; they might also try to outdo you in personal matters, like who has the most interesting weekend plans.

While their competitive spirit might initially seem amusing or harmless, it could indicate a deeper issue of insecurity and a desire for constant validation.

8) They don’t respect boundaries

In any professional relationship, boundaries are non-negotiable.

They ensure mutual respect and understanding. But when a coworker starts to cross these lines, it’s time for a reality check.

This coworker might always be snooping around your desk, reading over your shoulder, or asking nosy questions about your personal life.

They may dismiss your request for privacy with a wave of their hand, or worse, a laugh.

Perhaps they constantly push their work onto you, even when you’ve made it clear that you’re swamped with your own tasks, or they might consistently keep you late at work without considering your commitments outside the office.

This blatant disregard for your personal and professional boundaries is not only disrespectful, but it’s also a clear sign that this coworker is not trustworthy.

9) They break promises

At the core of trust lies reliability, and there’s nothing that undermines reliability quite like broken promises.

It’s one of the most fundamental signs that a coworker may not be trustworthy.

This coworker might frequently promise to complete tasks by certain deadlines, only to let them slip by.

They might commit to helping you with a project, but when crunch time comes, they’re nowhere to be found.

Maybe they assure you they’ll keep a secret, only for that secret to be common knowledge a few days later.

Or they make grand promises about future plans or goals which never materialize.

While everyone can occasionally forget or fail to deliver on a promise due to unforeseen circumstances, a pattern of broken promises is a major red flag.

Wrapping up

If you’ve noticed several of these signs in a coworker, it’s natural to feel concerned.

Working with someone you can’t fully trust can be challenging.

Remember, it’s not your job to change or confront them; being aware of their behavior helps you navigate your relationship more effectively.

While you may not be able to completely block them out, setting boundaries and limiting what you share can be a good start.

This article isn’t meant to label your coworker as untrustworthy, but to highlight behaviors that can undermine trust.

Just because they show these signs doesn’t mean they are out to get you.

If their behavior continues to negatively impact your work environment, consider discussing it with HR or a trusted supervisor.

Ultimately, recognizing these signs is the first step toward fostering a healthier work environment based on trust and respect.

Reflect on what you’ve learned and think about how to apply it in your professional life!