8 signs you love your partner a lot but you aren’t necessarily in love

Love is a tricky little beast. On one hand, you can deeply care for your partner, and on the other, you may not necessarily be in love.

Sounds confusing, right?

It’s a conundrum many of us face. We adore our partners, but we often question whether we’re truly in love.

Hey there, I’m Tina Fey from Love Connection, and I’m here to help you decipher this puzzle. I’ve witnessed countless couples go through this, so trust me when I say, you’re not alone.

I’ve put together a list of 8 Signs You Love Your Partner a Lot But You Aren’t Necessarily In Love.

It’s about understanding the difference between loving someone and being in love with them.

Stay tuned; this could be the lightbulb moment you’ve been waiting for in your relationship journey.

1) Comfort over butterflies

It’s a common misconception that being in love is always accompanied by those jittery butterflies in your stomach.

However, this isn’t always the case.

In many relationships, you feel an overwhelming sense of comfort with your partner. They become your safe space, your sanctuary.

It’s not about the exhilaration of infatuation; it’s about feeling at home when you’re with them.

But here’s the catch – this comfort, while important, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re madly in love. It could just mean that you deeply care for them and love their presence in your life.

You see, being in love often involves a level of passion and desire that goes beyond just comfort or care.

So, if you’re feeling content but not necessarily passionate or desiring, you might love your partner a lot, but you aren’t necessarily in love.

Don’t be disheartened though; this isn’t a bad thing. Understanding these feelings can help you navigate your relationship better.

It’s about honesty, with yourself and your partner.

2) More of a friend, less of a lover

There’s an old saying by Friedrich Nietzsche, “It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” I couldn’t agree more.

In many relationships, the bond evolves into a deep friendship over time.

You find yourself relying on your partner for advice, for support, for companionship. In fact, you may:

• Laugh together
• Share secrets
• Comfort each other in tough times

But here’s a personal note from your friend Tina – sometimes, the line between friendship and romantic love blurs. You might start seeing your partner more as your best friend and less as your lover.

The romantic spark might fade, replaced by a comforting camaraderie.

3) The absence of jealousy

Jealousy, while not a healthy emotion, often springs from a place of deep romantic love.

It’s that fear of losing what you have to someone else.

In my journey as a relationship expert, and as I discuss in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I’ve found that when you’re truly in love with someone, there’s often a touch of possessiveness and territoriality involved.

But if you find yourself feeling indifferent when your partner gets attention from others or if you don’t have that fear of losing them, it might be a sign that you love them deeply but aren’t necessarily in love.

Don’t get me wrong, not being jealous is a good thing!

It’s a sign of trust and respect. But it could also indicate that the romantic aspect of your love may not be as strong as the platonic one.

This is just one aspect of relationships I delve into in my book – feel free to check it out if you want to explore this further!

4) You’re content with the status quo

It may sound counterintuitive, but being content with the way things are could be a sign that you love your partner, but aren’t necessarily in love.

When we’re truly in love, there’s often an urge to grow together, to shape and mould our future in sync with our partner.

There’s a shared vision of moving forward together.

But if you find yourself satisfied with how things are, without a desire or ambition to progress in the relationship, it might mean that while you love your partner and appreciate their presence in your life, you’re not necessarily in love.

You see, being in love often involves a future-oriented mindset where you can’t imagine your life without your partner. 

5) Lack of personal sacrifice

I’ve always believed that love, especially being in love, involves a level of selflessness.

It’s about putting your partner’s needs and wants before your own at times.

In my own relationship journey, I’ve come to understand that when you’re truly in love with someone, their happiness becomes intertwined with yours.

You find joy in their joy, and their sorrow becomes your sorrow.

But if you find that you’re not willing to make personal sacrifices for your partner, or if the thought of doing so feels like a burden rather than a joy, it could be a sign that you love your partner but aren’t necessarily in love with them.

This isn’t to say you’re selfish or uncaring – it simply means that your love might be more platonic than romantic. 

6) You’re not their biggest cheerleader

Let’s be raw and honest here. When we’re truly in love, we become our partner’s biggest cheerleader.

We celebrate their wins, no matter how small. We feel proud of their achievements as if they were our own. We’re right there, on the sidelines, cheering them on every step of the way.

But if you find that you don’t feel this surge of pride or joy in your partner’s accomplishments, it could be a sign that while you love your partner, you may not be in love with them.

It might feel harsh to admit this to yourself. But remember, honesty – especially self-honesty – is the first step towards understanding and growth in any relationship.

7) Absence of deep emotional intimacy

Deep emotional intimacy often comes with being vulnerable and open with our partners. It’s about sharing our deepest fears, hopes, and dreams. It’s about letting them see us at our worst and most raw.

In my experience, when you’re truly in love, your partner becomes a safe harbor for your vulnerability.

You feel comfortable opening up to them on an emotional level, and they become your confidante.

But if you find that you’re holding back from sharing your deepest self with your partner, it might be a sign that while you love them a lot, you may not be in love.

Emotional intimacy is a beautiful aspect of love that strengthens the bond between two people. If it’s missing, it doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valid – it just means they may not be romantic love.

8) You’re not missing them intensely

Let’s get real here. When you’re deeply, madly in love, your partner occupies a significant part of your thoughts. Their absence is felt profoundly, and you miss them intensely when they’re not around.

It’s not about clinging or being needy – it’s about that special place they hold in your heart and mind when you’re in love.

But if you notice that their absence doesn’t affect you much, or you don’t really miss them when they’re not around, it could be a sign that while you love your partner deeply, you may not be in love.

This raw honesty might sting a bit, but remember that understanding our feelings is the first step towards nurturing our relationships better.

Wrapping up

Navigating the complex world of emotions and relationships isn’t always easy.

Yet, by understanding the difference between loving your partner a lot and being in love, you take an essential step is an in this journey.

Don’t feel guilty if you realize that you love without being in love.

Love comes in many forms, and each one is valid and beautiful in its own way.

If you want to dive deeper into understanding relationships and attachment, I recommend checking out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

I hope this article has been insightful for you.

Remember to always be true to your feelings and honest with your partner.

After all, love is all about honesty, understanding, and growth.