7 signs you’re genuinely exhausting to be around

There’s a big gap between being a vibrant, energetic presence and being downright draining.

The distinction often boils down to mindfulness. Being exhausting to be around usually means you’re overlooking how your actions and words impact others.

Being mindful, on the other hand, is about recognizing when you’re crossing that line and adjusting your behavior accordingly.

And let’s face it, we’ve all been guilty of being the exhausting one at some point. So here are some telltale signs you’re genuinely wearing on people’s nerves.

In this article, we will explore “7 signs you’re genuinely exhausting to be around”. Read on to find out if you’re unknowingly draining the life out of every party.

1) You’re always the center of attention

Let’s face it, we all enjoy the spotlight from time to time. But there’s a significant difference between sharing a captivating story now and then and constantly steering the conversation back to yourself.

This is about recognizing social cues. It’s about understanding when it’s your turn to speak and when it’s time to listen.

The reality is, nobody enjoys being around someone who always needs to be the center of attention, who dominates every conversation, or who turns every topic back to themselves.

If you find yourself frequently interrupting or talking over others, or if your stories always seem to outdo everyone else’s, then you might be exhausting to be around.

Remember, a good conversation is a two-way street. It requires listening as well as speaking. So take a step back, let others have their moment and you might just find that people enjoy your company more.

2) You’re always on your phone

I remember going out to dinner with a friend a while back. The food was great, the ambiance was perfect, but my friend was glued to his phone the entire time.

He’d constantly check his messages, scroll through social media, even answer calls during our meal. It felt like he wasn’t present at all. I found it genuinely exhausting trying to hold a conversation with him.

Being constantly on your phone when you’re supposed to be interacting with others can be a major drain. It sends a clear message that you find whatever is happening in your virtual world more interesting than the person right in front of you.

If this sounds familiar, it might be a sign that you’re exhausting to be around. So put the phone down, make eye contact, and engage with the people around you. You’ll be surprised at the difference it makes.

3) You’re a constant complainer

Here’s something food for thought: According to psychologists, humans are naturally wired to focus on the negative. It’s a survival instinct, a leftover from the days when we had to constantly be on the lookout for danger.

But fast forward to today, and this instinct is less about survival and more about perspective. People who constantly complain about everything from the weather to their work can be genuinely exhausting to be around.

Constant negativity can drain the energy from those around you. It creates a heavy atmosphere that most people would prefer to avoid.

So next time you feel the urge to complain, try focusing on something positive instead. It might just change the way people perceive your company.

4) You disregard boundaries

Respect for personal space and boundaries is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships.

Whether it’s constantly showing up unannounced, bombarding people with messages, or sharing overly personal details, crossing these boundaries can quickly become exhausting for those on the receiving end.

Everyone has a different level of comfort when it comes to their personal space and time. Ignoring these boundaries, even with the best intentions, can make people feel overwhelmed and uncomfortable.

If you’re disregarding someone’s boundaries, even after being told about them, it could be a sign that you’re genuinely exhausting to be around. So take a step back, respect others’ space and time, and let your relationships breathe.

5) You lack empathy

I recall having a rough day a few years back. I was dealing with a personal loss and was quite down. When I met a friend for coffee, instead of offering a sympathetic ear, she brushed off my feelings and quickly moved on to talk about her own issues.

It felt like a punch in the gut. In that moment, I realized how important empathy is in our interactions with others.

Empathy is about understanding and sharing the feelings of others. If you brush off others’ feelings, or can’t seem to understand their perspective, you might be creating a draining environment around you.

People need to feel heard and understood. If they constantly feel dismissed or invalidated, they might find your company exhausting. So take a moment to step into their shoes and offer some understanding. It can make all the difference in the world.

6) You’re always negative

No one’s life is perfect and we all have our share of challenges. But if you’re constantly seeing the glass as half-empty, it can be draining for those around you.

A constant flow of negativity, whether it’s pessimistic comments, cynical views or defeatist attitudes, can be genuinely exhausting. It can bring down the mood and make people feel like they’re carrying your emotional baggage.

It’s okay to vent sometimes, and we all need a shoulder to lean on. But if every conversation is filled with negativity, people might start to dread spending time with you.

Try to balance out the negative with some positive. Share your joys as well as your struggles. People will appreciate your company more if they don’t feel weighed down by constant negativity.

7) You don’t respect other’s time

Time is a valuable resource. When you’re always late, cancel plans at the last minute, or keep people waiting, it shows a lack of respect for their time.

This can be genuinely exhausting for others. They may feel dismissed, unimportant, or simply frustrated by your lack of punctuality or reliability.

Respecting other people’s time is a fundamental part of maintaining healthy relationships. If you consistently fail to do this, it could be a sign that you’re exhausting to be around.

So make an effort to be on time. Show up when you say you will. It communicates respect and consideration for others, and they’ll surely appreciate it.

Wrapping up: It’s all about balance

At the end of the day, human behavior is a complex blend of nature, nurture, emotions, and experiences. What might be perceived as exhausting by some could be seen as energetic by others.

That being said, it’s important to remember that everyone has a different threshold for what they can handle. What might be a vibrant personality to one person could be overwhelming to another.

So it’s not about drastically changing who you are, but rather about finding balance in your actions and interactions. It’s about being mindful of how your behavior might impact the people around you.

There’s an old saying that goes, “To know oneself is the beginning of wisdom.” So take these signs as a starting point for reflection. Are there areas where you could adjust your behavior to be less exhausting to those around you?

It’s worth contemplating, because in the grand scheme of things, we all want our interactions with others to be positive and fulfilling, rather than draining and exhausting.

And that’s a goal worth striving for.