Raising kids is no small feat—it’s a mix of chaos, joy, and life lessons (for you and them). But here’s the big question: what truly makes someone a great parent?
As someone fascinated by psychology and human behavior, I’ve noticed that exceptional parents often have a few understated yet powerful qualities.
These aren’t the ones that get shouted from parenting blogs or advice columns, but they’re the kind that quietly shape kids into confident, resilient, and well-rounded individuals.
In this article, we’re unpacking those qualities together.
Whether you’re just starting your parenting journey or already have a house full of teens, these insights can help you connect with your child in a deeper, more meaningful way.
Ready to explore what it takes to level up your parenting game?
Let’s get started!
1) Emotional intelligence
Parents with high emotional intelligence have the ability to understand and manage their own emotions, and also that of their children.
They can pick up on their child’s feelings even when they aren’t articulated verbally, which is a crucial skill when dealing with young ones.
They respond to tantrums and meltdowns with empathy and patience, instead of frustration.
They teach their kids about emotions, helping them understand what they feel and why.
Emotionally intelligent parents are good listeners too.
They validate their child’s feelings and assure them that it’s okay to have emotions – be it happiness, sadness, anger or fear.
This quality doesn’t just foster a strong parent-child bond, but also paves the way for the child to grow into an emotionally intelligent individual.
2) Flexibility
Parenting is an unpredictable journey and requires the ability to adapt and adjust to new situations.
Let me share a personal experience. I have two children, both with distinct personalities.
My eldest daughter is a planner, just like me. She likes knowing what’s next and enjoys routine.
My younger son, on the other hand, is spontaneous and cherishes surprises.
Initially, I tried implementing a strict routine for both of them, thinking it was the best approach.
However, it didn’t work quite well with my son. He felt restrained and would often get restless.
Realizing my approach wasn’t working, I decided to be flexible. I maintained a routine for my daughter but allowed more spontaneity for my son.
This balance made a world of difference. Both were happier and more content.
Being flexible as a parent meant understanding and catering to their individual needs rather than sticking to a ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach.
Believe me, flexibility can work wonders in making your parenting journey smoother and more enjoyable.
3) Persistence
Parenting can sometimes feel like an uphill battle.
There are days when nothing seems to go right, when patience runs thin and when the challenges seem insurmountable.
But one quality that stands out in the best parents is persistence.
I remember a phase when my son was facing difficulty in school.
He was struggling with his studies and his self-confidence was at an all-time low. Despite trying several strategies to help him, nothing seemed to work.
But giving up wasn’t an option. I knew we had to keep trying till we found a solution that worked for him.
We explored different learning methods, sought help from a tutor, and gave him the reassurance that it’s okay to struggle.
And guess what? Eventually, his grades started improving.
More importantly, he regained his confidence. It was a reminder of how persistence, even in the face of daunting challenges, can yield positive results.
Parenting is not about getting it right every time.
It’s about never giving up, even when things get tough. That’s what makes you a great parent.
4) Mindfulness
Mindfulness – the ability to be fully present and engaged in the moment – is a quality that can make a significant difference in parenting.
It’s about paying attention to your child’s needs and emotions in a non-judgmental manner, and responding rather than reacting.
As parents, we often find ourselves juggling multiple responsibilities at once.
In the process, we may miss out on truly being present with our children, listening to their stories, or simply enjoying their company.
But when you embrace mindfulness, you’ll find it easier to connect with your child at a deeper level.
You’ll be more patient, empathetic, and understanding.
You’ll be able to model positive behaviors and help your child navigate their emotions better.
In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”, I delve deeper into how mindfulness can enrich our lives and relationships.
It offers practical tips on how to cultivate mindfulness in your everyday life, including your parenting journey.
So if you want to be a more mindful parent, consider giving it a read.
By being mindful, you’re not only enhancing your parenting skills but also paving the way for your child to grow into a mindful and emotionally balanced individual.
5) Letting go
Now, I’m not talking about neglecting responsibilities or leaving your child to fend for themselves.
It’s about giving them the freedom to make their own decisions, make mistakes, and learn from them.
We often feel the need to protect our children, to shield them from every harm and hardship.
While this comes from a place of love, it can sometimes hinder their growth and learning.
When we step back a little, we give our children the chance to experience life firsthand, to understand the consequences of their actions and to develop problem-solving skills.
Yes, it’s hard to see your child stumble. But every stumble is a step towards growth.
Letting go doesn’t mean you love your child any less; it means you trust them and believe in their ability to learn and grow.
6) Resilience
Life throws curveballs at us all the time – be it a challenging day at work, an unexpected illness, or a global pandemic.
How we respond to these challenges sets an example for our children.
Resilient parents have the ability to bounce back from adversity.
They don’t deny the hardship or the negative feelings associated with it.
Instead, they acknowledge them, deal with them constructively, and move forward.
They show their children that it’s okay to fall, as long as you pick yourself up and keep going.
They teach them that failure isn’t fatal, and that every difficulty is an opportunity to learn and grow.
By being resilient, you’re not just managing your own stress but also equipping your child with the coping skills they need to navigate life’s ups and downs.
Resilience isn’t about never experiencing hardship; it’s about learning to thrive despite it.
7) Authenticity
As parents, we often feel the pressure to be perfect – to always have the answers, to always make the right decisions, to never show weakness.
But here’s a little secret: there’s no such thing as a perfect parent.
One quality that truly sets great parents apart is authenticity.
Authentic parents are not afraid to be themselves.
They don’t pretend to know it all or hide their flaws. They admit when they make mistakes and apologize when they’re wrong.
I’ll confess, there have been times when I’ve lost my patience with my kids or made a parenting decision I later regretted.
But instead of sweeping it under the rug, I chose to acknowledge it.
I apologized to my kids and explained why I was wrong.
This not only taught them about accountability but also showed them that it’s okay to be imperfect.
Authentic parents foster an environment of openness and honesty in their homes.
They teach their children to embrace their unique selves and not shy away from their flaws.
It’s okay not to have all the answers or always get it right. Just be real, be you – that’s what your kids need the most.
8) Consistency
Consistency is a key factor in effective parenting.
It’s about setting clear expectations and following through with them.
It’s about maintaining a stable environment where your child knows what to expect.
Children thrive on consistency. It gives them a sense of security and helps them understand the consequences of their actions.
When rules and expectations are consistent, children learn to trust their parents and feel more confident in their decisions.
Consistency doesn’t mean being rigid or inflexible.
It’s about being reliable and steady in your approach, even when it’s tough.
It’s about standing firm on important matters, like values and boundaries, while allowing room for flexibility in less crucial areas.
There will be days when you falter, and that’s okay.
What matters is that you try to maintain consistency as much as possible, providing your child with a stable, predictable environment where they can grow and thrive.
9) Unconditional love
Unconditional love doesn’t mean you overlook their mistakes or shield them from consequences.
It means you guide and support them through their failures and setbacks, without any judgment or criticism.
It’s about celebrating their individuality and encouraging them to be true to themselves.
It’s about reassuring them that no matter what life throws at them, your love will remain constant.
Unconditional love fosters self-esteem, confidence, and a sense of security in children.
It helps them grow into emotionally balanced and resilient adults.
Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s an action. Show your child unconditional love every day, in every interaction.
It’s the most powerful tool you have as a parent.
Final thoughts: It’s an art
Parenting is less about following a set of rigid rules and more about mastering an art.
An art that requires patience, understanding, resilience, and above all, unconditional love.
Every child is unique, and so is every parent. There isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting.
It’s about finding what works best for you and your child, and sometimes that means making mistakes and learning from them.
In my book, “The Art of Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Living in the Moment”, I talk about the role of mindfulness in parenting.
About being present, accepting each moment as it comes and responding with empathy and understanding.
This approach can make a huge difference in your parenting journey.
At the end of the day, it’s not about being a perfect parent.
It’s about being a real one. It’s about showing up for your child, day in and day out, even when it’s hard.
So take these qualities to heart. Reflect on them, learn from them, and let them guide you in your journey of parenthood.
Because when it comes to being a great parent, it’s not just about what you do, but who you are.
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