7 subtle signs a man is being dishonest about his past (and trying to cover it up)

So you’ve just met someone new, and while things seem promising, there’s that nagging feeling that he’s not being completely honest with you about his past.

Maybe it’s the way he dodges certain topics or the little inconsistencies that pop up in his stories.

While no one expects complete transparency from day one, trust is built on honesty—and if he’s hiding parts of his past, it could affect the foundation of your relationship. 

Fear not, I’ve got your back. In my years of relationship expertise, I’ve learned how to identify those subtle signs that hint at dishonesty. 

In this article, we’ll explore seven subtle signs that a man might be being dishonest about his past, so you can trust your instincts and avoid being misled.

1) Inconsistencies in his stories

We all know how complex life’s narratives can be. It’s natural for details to change slightly each time a story is retold.

But when it comes to a man’s past, if the tales he tells seem to have substantial inconsistencies, it might be cause for concern.

Are the dates he mentions always changing? Does the number of siblings he says he has fluctuated?

These could be a subtle sign of dishonesty.

I’m not suggesting you nitpick every detail. It’s more about noticing patterns that suggest his stories might not be rooted in reality.

If you find yourself frequently puzzled by the inconsistencies, trust your gut. Remember, your intuition is your best guide in these situations. 

And keep in mind – it’s always wise to communicate openly about your doubts before making any hasty decisions.

2) He’s overly detailed about certain parts of his past

This might seem counterintuitive because, usually, honesty is associated with sharing details. But in some cases, an abundance of specific details can be a sign of deception.

When a man is being dishonest about his past, he might overcompensate by providing an excessive amount of detail about certain aspects of his story.

It’s like he’s trying to paint a picture that’s too vivid, too perfect. As if he’s trying to convince you – and perhaps himself – of the narrative he’s spinning.

Remember, it’s all about patterns and intuition. Trust your gut and keep your eyes open for other signs.

3) He avoids discussing certain topics

We all have topics that we’d rather not discuss. It’s just human nature. But, if a man consistently avoids discussing certain parts of his past, it could be a sign that he’s hiding something.

Whenever you bring up these topics, he might change the subject quickly or seem visibly uncomfortable.

It’s as if there’s an invisible barrier that he doesn’t want you to cross.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss ways to communicate openly and honestly about fears and discomforts.

It’s important to approach these situations with sensitivity and understanding, but also with the intention of maintaining honesty in your relationship.

Avoidance doesn’t automatically imply dishonesty, but it’s definitely a sign to watch out for, especially if it becomes a recurring pattern.

4) He has uncomfortable body language

Deception often leaves signs in our body language, and this is particularly true when a man is being dishonest about his past.

Watch closely for signs of discomfort. It could be as subtle as:

• A flicker of the eyes
• A twitch of the mouth
• Fidgeting hands

These are classic nonverbal cues that suggest he might not be telling the whole truth.

Everyone occasionally gets nervous or uncomfortable. But when this unease surfaces every time a certain topic from his past is brought up, it could indicate something deeper is at play.

Understanding body language isn’t an exact science, but it can provide valuable insights. It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion to reveal what’s hidden underneath.

If you notice these small signs and they persist, it might be time to gently probe further. 

5) He is over-defensive

It’s natural for us to defend ourselves when we feel attacked or misunderstood. But if a man becomes overly defensive when certain aspects of his past are brought up, it can be a sign he’s hiding something.

Over-defensiveness is like a smoke screen, designed to throw you off the scent of the real issue. It’s a tactic that’s often used to divert attention away from the truth.

If his first reaction is always to get defensive rather than engage in open and honest communication, it might be time to ask yourself why.

In my own experiences, I’ve found that defensiveness often stems from fear:

• Fear of judgment
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of facing the truth

Being mindful of this can help guide your approach when faced with such situations.

6) He avoids introducing you to people from his past

It’s often said that you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. This holds especially true when it comes to past relationships and friendships.

If he’s hesitant to introduce you to people from his past, it could be a sign he’s being dishonest about it.

This avoidance might be because these individuals could inadvertently reveal aspects of his past that he prefers to keep hidden. Maybe it’s an ex who could expose inconsistencies in his stories or a former friend who knows about certain events he’d rather keep hidden.

However, in a healthy relationship, being introduced to people from each other’s lives should feel natural and comfortable.

If he’s keeping his past relationships and connections under wraps, it’s worth asking yourself why he feels the need to keep them a secret. It’s possible that his reasons go beyond privacy, and it could point to a deeper dishonesty about his history.

7) Your gut tells you something isn’t right

Let’s get real for a moment. Sometimes, the most powerful sign that a man is being dishonest about his past isn’t anything he says or does. It’s that nagging feeling in your gut that something just isn’t right.

Our intuition is a powerful tool, finely honed over thousands of years of human evolution. It’s there to protect us, to guide us, and it’s worth listening to.

If, despite everything seeming fine on the surface, you can’t shake the feeling that he’s hiding something from his past, don’t dismiss it.

Our gut feelings are often our subconscious picking up on tiny inconsistencies that our conscious mind has missed.

Trust yourself. If something feels off, it might be time to have an open conversation about your concerns.

Final thoughts

Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and if you sense that something isn’t adding up, it’s important to listen to your instincts.

While everyone has a past they may not be proud of, consistent dishonesty can signal deeper issues that may not be easy to overlook.

If you recognize any of these subtle signs, it’s crucial to address them head-on with open communication. Trust is built on transparency, and the right person will be willing to share his truth with you, without fear or hesitation.

In light of our discussion, I’d like to recommend this video by Justin Brown where he explores new-age spiritual narcissism.

He questions some of the groupthink in new-age circles, which is very good for people who are interested in pursuing a spiritual path and finding meaning in life, but who need some encouragement about the importance of doing this by finding their own way.