7 subtle signs you have a one-sided friendship in your life, says a psychologist

If you’ve ever been in a one-sided friendship, you’ll know it can leave you feeling unappreciated and undervalued.

Perhaps you’re always the one reaching out, making plans, or giving emotional support, but it feels like your friend is just not reciprocating.

Being in an unbalanced friendship isn’t a reflection of your worth, it’s often just a sign that dynamics need to change.

There are, however, some key indicators you can look for. Understanding these could be the first step towards redefining the friendship or seeking more balanced relationships.

1) You’re always the initiator

If you’re constantly the one making plans, sending texts or reaching out, it could be a subtle sign of a one-sided friendship.

For instance, if you notice you’re always the one suggesting to catch up, or if their replies to your messages are often late or lack enthusiasm, it might feel like you’re pulling all the weight in the friendship.

This is not about tallying up who did what and when, but rather about recognizing an imbalance.

A healthy friendship should involve mutual effort and interest. If you feel like you’re constantly chasing them without reciprocation, it could be a sign that the friendship is not as balanced as it should be.

It’s not about becoming obsessive over every interaction, but being aware when a pattern of one-sided effort becomes consistent. It’s crucial to understand this so that you can address it and seek more equal relationships.

2) You feel energized after spending time alone

Normally, spending time with friends leaves us feeling uplifted and energized. But in a one-sided friendship, you may find the opposite is true.

If you often feel drained or emotionally exhausted after catching up with your friend, it might be a sign that the dynamics of the friendship are not healthy.

You may not even be consciously aware of this feeling until you have some time alone. Suddenly, you feel a sense of relief or rejuvenation that you didn’t expect. This could be your subconscious signaling that the friendship is more taxing than rewarding.

It’s important to listen to these feelings and consider what they might be telling you about your friendship. Remember, a good friendship should leave you feeling positive and energized, not depleted and stressed.

3) You often justify their behavior to others

When friends let us down, it’s natural to want to defend them. But if you find yourself constantly making excuses for your friend’s actions or attitudes, it could be a sign of a one-sided friendship.

In psychology, this is known as cognitive dissonance – the mental discomfort experienced by a person who holds two contradictory beliefs or values at the same time. In this case, you might believe your friend is a good person, yet their actions suggest otherwise.

This can lead to you justifying their behavior, not only to others but also to yourself, in an attempt to resolve this contradiction. If you notice this happening frequently, it might be time to reassess the balance of the friendship.

4) They’re not there during your tough times

We all have our ups and downs, and a true friend is someone who stands by us even during our lowest moments. It’s during these challenging times that we truly see the value of a balanced friendship.

If you find that your friend is often absent or distant when you’re going through a tough time, it can be really hurtful. You might feel like you’re alone, even though you shouldn’t have to.

It’s okay to expect your friends to be there for you, just as you would be there for them. Friendship is about mutual support and care. If this support isn’t reciprocated during your difficult times, it might suggest that the friendship is one-sided.

It’s not about keeping score but about feeling loved and supported. You deserve friendships that offer this kind of mutual care and respect.

5) You feel like you’re walking on eggshells

There’s this feeling we sometimes get, where we’re constantly worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing around a particular friend. It’s as if we’re walking on eggshells, always trying to avoid potential conflict or upset.

This could mean that you’re constantly trying to adapt to their needs and preferences, often at the expense of your own. Maybe you’re always watching your words, careful not to bring up topics that might trigger an argument or create tension.

This is not what friendship should feel like. You should be able to express yourself freely and honestly without the fear of causing an upset. If this doesn’t seem to be the case, it’s a possible sign of a one-sided friendship.

Healthy friendships allow for open communication and the freedom to be yourself. If you find yourself constantly on edge, it might be time to reassess the balance in your friendship.

6) Your achievements are often downplayed

In a balanced friendship, your achievements should be celebrated, not downplayed or ignored. If you notice your friend often minimizes your successes or changes the subject quickly when you share good news, it could be a subtle sign of a one-sided friendship.

For example, let’s say you’ve just landed a promotion at work. You’re excited and want to share this joy with your friend. But instead of celebrating with you, they quickly change the subject or bring up their own achievements.

This can make you feel like your accomplishments aren’t valued or recognized. True friends should be happy for each other’s successes and should celebrate them together. If this doesn’t seem to be the case, it might suggest an imbalance in the friendship.

7) You’re always their emotional dumping ground

Friendship involves sharing – joys, sorrows, dreams, and fears. But if you often feel like your friend only reaches out when they need to vent or seek advice, you may be in a one-sided friendship.

If you’re always the shoulder to cry on, but they aren’t there when you need support, it’s not fair to you. It’s emotionally draining to constantly support someone else without receiving the same level of emotional care in return.

You are not an emotional dumping ground.

Your feelings and needs are just as important. If you feel like your friend’s personal therapist rather than an equal partner in a mutual friendship, it’s time for a serious conversation about the balance in your relationship. Don’t forget – you deserve as much care and attention as you give.

Remember, you deserve balanced relationships

The most crucial thing to remember is this: You deserve a friendship that is balanced, where mutual respect, care and support are the norms. If you find yourself in a one-sided friendship, it’s crucial to address it.

It can be uncomfortable confronting a friend about these issues, but it’s key for your emotional wellbeing. You may find that the friend wasn’t aware of their behavior and is willing to work towards a more balanced relationship.

But if things don’t change – it’s okay to distance yourself from relationships that consistently drain you. You deserve friendships that enrich your life, not ones that constantly leave you feeling empty.

Always value your self-worth and never settle for less than what you deserve in any relationship.