8 subtle signs your high expectations are the reason you’re still single, according to psychology

If you’re perpetually single, you might often find yourself wondering why—it’s possible that your high expectations could be the culprit.

Having high standards in relationships can be a sign of self-respect and knowing what you want.

However, our ideals for a partner can be so lofty that we unintentionally set ourselves up for disappointment—having high standards isn’t a bad thing, but when they’re unrealistic they can hinder your love life.

According to psychology, there are subtle ways these high expectations might be keeping you single—without you even realizing it.

Here are eight signs to look for if your quest for the ideal partner is getting in the way of love:

1) You’re constantly disappointed

This disappointment doesn’t just refer to big picture stuff (like life goals or career aspirations), it could be as simple as expecting the other person to always text back immediately or to never cancel plans.

High expectations often lead to a cycle of disappointment and frustration—you may feel like no one is ever good enough or that you’re constantly being let down.

According to psychology, constant disappointment can lead to a negative feedback loop where you become increasingly disillusioned with relationships, making it harder for you to maintain or find a partner.

2) You’re never single for long

Surprisingly, being in a relationship most of the time could be a sign that your high expectations are keeping you single.

Confusing, right? Let me explain.

This might sound like an achievement—continually being in relationships—however, it can indicate that you’re quick to jump into partnerships without properly evaluating if the person meets your high standards.

Perhaps you’re so focused on the idea of being in a relationship that you overlook crucial details about your partner.

Over time, these overlooked details become glaring issues, leading to breakups—then, the cycle starts again.

According to psychology, this pattern of serial dating could be a sign that your high expectations and impatience to find ‘the one’ are inadvertently keeping you single.

3) You have a rigid checklist

Have you ever noticed that you have a mental or even physical checklist for your potential partner?

This list could include things like their appearance, career, hobbies, or personal habits.

While it’s normal to have preferences, a rigid checklist might be keeping you single.

When you hold tightly onto a specific set of expectations, you limit your opportunities to meet diverse people who could be great partners for you.

It’s like having tunnel vision—you’re so focused on finding someone who ticks all the boxes that you miss out on other potential matches.

4) You’re not giving yourself enough credit

When you’re single for a while, it’s easy to start blaming yourself.

You might think that something is wrong with you or that you’re not good enough but, the truth is, you are enough just as you are.

It’s important to remember that having standards doesn’t mean you’re too picky or difficult—it just means you know your worth and what you deserve in a relationship.

Should expectations become too high, they can prevent you from recognizing a good thing when it comes your way.

Take some time to reflect on your own qualities and achievements, and understand that everyone has flaws, including the person you’ll eventually end up with.

The key is to find someone whose flaws you can accept and who accepts yours in return.

5) You’re always waiting for something better

Ever find yourself in a relationship, but with one foot out the door, just in case someone better comes along?

This is known as the ‘grass is always greener’ syndrome; you might have a great person right in front of you, but you can’t fully commit because of the nagging thought that there could be someone better suited for you out there.

This constant state of waiting and comparing can leave you stuck in a cycle of short-term relationships or dates that never progress into something more, like being at a buffet and never fully enjoying the dish in front of you because you’re always eyeing the next one.

The perfect person doesn’t exist.

Rather than searching for someone who fits every single criteria on your list, look for someone who makes you feel loved, respected and happy.

6) You’re living in a romantic movie

I recall a time when I was completely enamored with the idea of ‘movie love‘—you know, the kind of love that involves grand gestures, intense passion, and dramatic storylines?

It was as if I was waiting for my life to turn into an epic romance film, but life isn’t a movie.

Real relationships involve everyday moments, compromises, and sometimes, disagreements.

Expecting your relationships to be like a romantic movie, you might end up constantly disappointed when reality doesn’t match your cinematic expectations.

Real love is often quiet, comfortable and less dramatic than what we see on the big screen.

Embrace the normalcy and find joy in the simple, everyday moments with your partner.

7) You’re not willing to compromise

Here’s a hard truth: if you’re unwilling to compromise, you’re setting yourself up for perpetual singleness.

Relationships require give and take—they demand flexibility and understanding—and about finding a middle ground that suits both parties.

If you hold your expectations so high that there’s no room for flexibility or compromise, you’re likely to find yourself constantly dissatisfied and single.

Again, no one is perfect—expecting a potential partner to meet all your criteria without fail is unrealistic and unfair.

It’s crucial to understand that compromising means being open to the reality of human imperfection and embracing it as part of the journey of love.

8) You’re not happy with yourself

Ultimately, the most significant sign that your high expectations might be keeping you single is if you’re not happy with yourself.

After all, how can you expect someone else to fulfill you if you’re not content within your own skin?

Happiness comes from within, and no partner, no matter how perfect they might seem, can provide you with the complete happiness that you crave.

Constantly seeking validation or happiness from a potential partner makes it more likely that your expectations will always be too high.

Before looking for love in others, start by loving yourself and being content with who you are and what you have achieved—only then can you truly share your life with someone else without the weight of unrealistic expectations.

Conclusion

To truly understand relationships is to uncover what truly matters in love—and that answer often depends on your personal perspective.

Time spent on self-reflection and personal growth is never time wasted; it’s the foundation for a healthier, more authentic connection with yourself and others.

Navigating the complex world of relationships requires the wisdom to resist letting societal expectations dictate your choices.

Instead, prioritize what feels right for you.

Here’s to finding balance, embracing imperfection, and living a more fulfilled, happier life—whether you’re single, in a relationship, or somewhere in between!