8 subtle signs your relationship is running out of steam (and what to about it)

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably felt it—the quiet, unsettling sense that something in your relationship feels… off.

Maybe you don’t argue as much, or perhaps you don’t talk as deeply as you once did.

You still care about each other, yet there’s an emotional distance that wasn’t there before, and it leaves you wondering if your relationship is running out of steam.

It’s natural to feel anxious when things shift with someone you care about deeply. But sometimes, the signs of a relationship losing its spark are so subtle that they can be hard to spot, making it easy to brush off your feelings.

The good news?

Identifying these signs can help you take meaningful action to reconnect and rediscover the closeness you once shared.

Here are eight signs that may indicate your relationship is losing momentum—and what you can do to bring it back to life.

1) Communication breakdown

We’ve all heard the saying – communication is the key to a successful relationship. And it’s true, but what happens when that key seems to be lost?

You might start to notice that your conversations have become surface-level, lacking depth and intimacy. Or perhaps you’re arguing more often, without any resolution in sight.

Maybe there’s an eerie silence that’s replaced the once buzzing chatter.

This is often one of the first signs that your relationship might be running out of steam. When communication breaks down, so does the connection. It’s like trying to navigate through a maze in the dark.

But don’t panic just yet.

Recognizing this issue is the first step towards fixing it. Start by initiating meaningful conversations and actively listening to your partner.

If arguments are the issue, try to approach disagreements with empathy and understanding.

It’s not about winning or losing an argument but resolving it. So let’s roll up our sleeves and work on this together because restoring communication in your relationship can reignite that dwindling flame.

2) Drifting apart

When I was younger, I used to love building sandcastles at the beach. But as the tide came in, those carefully crafted castles would slowly drift away, piece by piece.

It’s a lot like love, isn’t it?

One of the subtle signs your relationship might be fizzling out is if you notice you and your partner drifting apart.

It’s not always dramatic or sudden; it’s a slow and steady process, like the incoming tide.

Maybe your shared interests are dwindling, or perhaps you’re spending less quality time together. You might even feel like you’re living separate lives under the same roof.

So how do you work on this?

Try reigniting shared interests or creating new ones. Spend quality time together, even if it’s just a simple movie night at home.

Every little step counts when it comes to bridging that gap. Because love is like a sandcastle – it might drift away with the tide, but we can always rebuild.

3) Neglecting each other’s needs

I remember a time when I was knee-deep in the manuscript for my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

I was so engrossed in my work that I often found myself neglecting my own needs – and those of my loved ones.

In relationships, it’s common for us to forget that our partners have needs too, especially when life gets busy. But this neglect can slowly erode the bond you share.

Neglecting each other’s needs is a subtle sign that your relationship might be running out of steam. Maybe you’re no longer prioritizing date nights, or perhaps your partner’s emotional needs aren’t being met.

In my book, I delve into how to identify and address these issues. It’s all about finding a balance and ensuring both partners feel valued and cared for.

So if you’re noticing this sign in your relationship, consider giving my book a read. It might just provide the insights you need to reignite that spark. 

4) Too much agreement

Now, this one might sound counterintuitive. After all, isn’t harmony a good thing in a relationship?

Well, yes and no.

If you find that you and your partner are agreeing on absolutely everything, it might be a sign that your relationship is running out of steam.

You might think, “Isn’t that what compatibility is all about?”

But here’s the catch – too much agreement can sometimes mean that one or both of you aren’t expressing your true feelings or opinions to avoid conflict.

It’s perfectly healthy to have disagreements in a relationship. It’s these differences and how we navigate them that add depth and richness to our relationships.

So next time you find yourself nodding in agreement, ask yourself, “Is this what I truly feel?” 

5) The laughter has faded

I still remember the first time I made my partner laugh. It was a silly joke, nothing particularly funny, but his laughter was music to my ears.

It’s the kind of memory that brings a smile to my face even now.

Laughter is vital for a successful relationship. It helps us bond, reduces stress, and often acts as a buffer during tough times.

But what happens when the laughter starts to fade?

If your shared jokes are less frequent or if laughter feels forced, it might indicate that your relationship is running out of steam.

It’s like being in a room where the lights are slowly dimming. But remember, even in the dimmest room, you can still turn on the light.

Start by reintroducing humor into your relationship. Watch a comedy show together or share funny stories from your day. It’s the small moments of joy that often make the biggest difference.

6) You’re fantasizing about a life without them

This is a tough one, and it requires us to be brutally honest with ourselves.

If you find yourself fantasizing about a life without your partner, or perhaps with someone else, it might be a sign that your relationship is running out of steam.

It’s not something we like to admit, but ignoring these feelings can do more harm than good. It’s like being on a ship that’s slowly sinking, but refusing to acknowledge that you might need a lifeboat.

Having these thoughts doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is doomed. What matters is how you handle these feelings.

It’s important to reflect on why you’re having these thoughts and address the root cause. Is it because your needs aren’t being met? Or are there unresolved issues?

Such thoughts can be scary, but they can also be an opportunity for growth and improvement in your relationship. We just need to have the courage to face them head-on. As they say, the truth hurts, but it can also set you free.

7) You’re no longer excited about future plans

Remember when you and your partner would stay up late, excitedly planning your next vacation or just dreaming about your shared future?

Those were exciting times, weren’t they?

But lately, if you’ve noticed a lack of enthusiasm or even avoidance when it comes to discussing the future, it might be a sign that your relationship is running out of steam.

But don’t let this hiccup put an end to your relationship. Instead, try to reignite that excitement by revisiting old plans or creating new ones.

8) You feel lonely even when they’re around

This is a hard pill to swallow, but it’s crucial to face it head-on.

Feeling lonely, even when your partner is right next to you, is a clear sign that your relationship might be running out of steam. 

This loneliness can stem from various things:

• Emotional disconnect
• Lack of intimacy
• Feeling misunderstood

And it’s one of the most painful feelings because you’re not alone, yet you feel utterly isolated.

However, acknowledging this feeling is the first step towards addressing it. It’s time to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your feelings.

It won’t be easy, but as they say, no pain, no gain. So let’s face this together because a relationship where you feel alone is like a rainstorm without a shelter – it just doesn’t provide the comfort it should.

Conclusion

Noticing that your relationship might be running out of steam isn’t a comfortable realization. But don’t fret, as recognizing these subtle signs allows you to step back, reflect, and decide what’s next.

Relationships require care, attention, and sometimes a reset to reignite that connection. By addressing these signs openly and honestly, you can take steps to rekindle the bond that first brought you together.

My book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, can provide you with practical insights and advice on how to navigate these tricky waters.

Let’s face this challenge together and work towards reigniting that spark in your relationship. Because love, my dear readers, is always worth fighting for.