8 subtle signs you’re being taken for granted by your partner, says a relationship expert

Being in a relationship is about mutual respect and appreciation.

But sometimes, you might feel like you are giving more than you’re receiving. It’s a subtle feeling, but it can gnaw at you, making you question your worth in the relationship.

Hi there, I’m Tina Fey, your go-to relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog.

I’ve seen many people struggle with the feeling of being taken for granted by their partners – a painful position to be in.

In this article, I’ll be sharing eight subtle signs that might indicate that you’re being undervalued in your relationship.

These insights are designed to help you identify any issues and navigate them effectively. Because everyone deserves to feel cherished in their relationships.

1) Unequal effort

Relationships are a two-way street. Both partners should be putting in effort to keep the relationship alive and thriving.

But sometimes, you might notice a critical imbalance.

You’re always the one initiating communication, planning dates, or even resolving conflicts.

And this isn’t just about big things – it could be something as simple as doing more than your fair share of household chores.

The imbalance might not be glaringly obvious at first. But over time, you may start to feel like you’re doing all the heavy lifting in your relationship.

This could be a subtle sign that your partner is taking you for granted.

Remember, though, everyone has off days or even weeks. It’s when this becomes a regular pattern that it’s worth addressing.

Because you deserve a relationship where both parties are equally invested.

2) Lack of appreciation

I’ve always loved this quote from William Arthur Ward, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” This is particularly true in relationships.

When was the last time your partner expressed their gratitude for you? It’s not about expecting a grand gesture daily.

Even a simple, sincere “thank you” can mean a lot.

In my own relationship, I make it a point to express gratitude for the little things my partner does. It’s a wonderful practice that has brought us closer together.

But if you’re consistently feeling unappreciated for your efforts, this could be a sign you’re being taken for granted.

It’s essential to communicate when you feel this way. Your feelings are valid and should be acknowledged by your partner.

3) Your needs are often overlooked

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I discuss how critical it is for both partners to have their needs met in a relationship.

If you find that your needs are often overlooked, or you constantly have to fight to get them recognized, it’s a subtle sign that you’re being taken for granted.

I remember a time in my own life when I felt unheard and overlooked.

It was emotionally draining, and it led me to explore the dynamics of codependency in relationships.

Through my journey, I learned the power of expressing my needs and setting clear boundaries.

It’s not always easy, but it’s necessary for a healthy relationship.

If you’re feeling this way, I encourage you to check out my book. It’s full of insights that can help you navigate these complex dynamics and build a healthier, more balanced relationship.

4) They’re overly independent

Now, this might seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t independence a good thing in a relationship?

Absolutely, but there’s a balance to be struck.

If your partner is fiercely independent to the point that they never ask for your help or input, it could indicate they’re taking you for granted.

It’s not about fostering dependency, but rather interdependency.

In a healthy relationship, partners turn to each other for support, advice, and comfort.

If your partner is constantly shutting you out of their world or decision-making process, it’s a subtle sign they might be undervaluing your role in their life.

Every relationship is about teamwork – and that requires both parties to lean on each other from time to time.

5) They forget about special occasions

Special occasions and milestones are the perfect opportunities to show love and appreciation for each other.

But if your partner regularly forgets these moments, it might be a sign that they’re taking you for granted.

I remember a time when my partner forgot our anniversary. It felt like a punch in the gut.

I felt unimportant and overlooked.

But then we talked about it. We had a heart to heart conversation about expectations and the importance of celebrating our milestones. It was a turning point in our relationship.

If your partner consistently forgets special occasions, don’t be afraid to express your feelings.

Communication is key in any relationship. And remember, your feelings matter.

6) They don’t prioritize quality time

This can be a hard pill to swallow. If you find your partner is constantly busy, always distracted, or frequently canceling plans, it’s a raw and honest sign they might be taking you for granted.

Quality time is the lifeblood of a relationship. It’s in those shared moments that you connect, grow, and create beautiful memories together.

But when your partner consistently chooses other things over spending time with you, it can feel like a slap in the face.

I’m not saying every moment should be spent together – we all need our space. But consistently choosing other things over your relationship is a clear sign of disregard.

You deserve a partner who values and cherishes the time spent with you. Don’t settle for less.

7) They don’t listen actively

One of the greatest gifts you can give someone is your undivided attention.

But if you find your partner frequently zoning out during conversations or not remembering things you’ve told them, it might be a sign that they’re taking you for granted.

Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

Active listening is about fully engaging with the speaker, showing empathy, and acknowledging their feelings.

I’ve had my share of conversations where it felt like I was talking to a wall. It’s frustrating and disheartening. But I’ve learned that open communication about these issues can do wonders.

You deserve to be heard and understood. Don’t settle for anything less.

8) They rarely express affection

This is a raw and honest sign – if your partner rarely expresses affection or seems uninterested in intimacy, they might be taking you for granted.

Affection is more than just physical intimacy. It’s the small gestures of love – a warm hug, a gentle touch, a loving text message.

It’s about making the other person feel wanted and cherished.

If you feel starved for affection in your relationship, it can be incredibly lonely. You might even start questioning your worth.

But remember this: Your worth is not defined by how someone else treats you.

You deserve a partner who isn’t afraid to show their love and affection for you. Don’t accept anything less.

Final thoughts

Being taken for granted can leave you feeling undervalued and overlooked.

But remember, recognizing these signs is the first step towards addressing them.

Communication is key. Express your feelings to your partner and discuss ways to improve your relationship.

If you’re struggling with feelings of being taken for granted, my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship might be a helpful resource.

Everyone deserves to be cherished in their relationships. Don’t settle for anything less.

Here’s to healthy, balanced relationships where both partners are equally valued.