9 surprising ways Jesus approached conflict, according to psychology

There’s a lot to learn from how Jesus handled conflict, even when viewed through the lens of modern psychology.

Regardless of your beliefs, it’s clear that Jesus had a remarkable ability to resolve conflicts. He often diffused tense situations in ways that were both surprising and profoundly insightful.

Psychology offers an intriguing perspective on His approach, and it turns out there are 9 surprising ways His conflict management style still holds relevance today.

So, let’s dive into these timeless nuggets of wisdom, shall we?

1) Turning the other cheek

In the realm of conflict management, turning the other cheek is a strategy that few of us employ.

Yet, it was one of Jesus’ most famous teachings. When faced with aggression, instead of retaliating, he advised to turn the other cheek. This was not about being a pushover, but rather a strategic way to diffuse tension.

According to psychology, such a response can be disarming. It breaks the cycle of escalating anger. When one party refuses to participate in the conflict, it often leaves the aggressor confused and less aggressive.

This approach requires a high level of emotional intelligence and self-control. It’s not about allowing yourself to be treated poorly, but about choosing not to engage in hostility.

So next time you find yourself in a heated situation, consider turning the other cheek. It might just be the surprising solution you need.

2) Offering forgiveness

This one completely took me by surprise when I first started studying Jesus’ approach to conflict.

There’s this story where Jesus said to forgive not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Now that’s a lot of forgiving, don’t you think?

But here’s the thing. I once had a friend who continuously let me down. Each time, I would forgive and move on. But after the umpteenth time, I was ready to cut ties.

Then I remembered Jesus’ teaching about forgiveness. So instead of severing the friendship, I sat down with him and had an open conversation about how his actions were impacting me.

Guess what happened? He was genuinely sorry and committed to changing his ways. And he did.

Psychology supports this approach too. Forgiveness is not just beneficial to the person being forgiven, it also has significant positive effects on the one who forgives – reducing stress, improving mental health, and even enhancing physical well-being.

3) Understanding human nature

Jesus had a deep understanding of human nature. He knew what made people tick, their desires, fears, and motivations. This understanding was key to his approach to conflict.

One of the standout examples was when he met with the Samaritan woman at the well. Knowing her history and the societal norms of the time, he could have easily judged her. Instead, he engaged in a conversation that led to her changing her ways.

In psychology, this approach is called empathetic understanding. It’s about understanding someone’s situation from their perspective, not yours. And it’s proven to be one of the most effective ways to resolve conflict.

4) Using parables to clarify

Jesus was known for his use of parables, simple stories used to illustrate a moral or spiritual lesson. When dealing with conflict, He often used these as a tool to get His point across without directly confronting the other person.

Take the story of the Prodigal Son, for example. Instead of lecturing about forgiveness and acceptance, Jesus told a story that powerfully conveyed these principles.

Psychology backs up this approach too. Studies have shown that storytelling is an effective way to teach, influence, and even change behavior. Why? Because stories engage our emotions and can help us see situations from new perspectives.

So, the next time you’re in a conflict situation, consider telling a story or using an analogy.

It might just help the other person see things from your perspective without feeling attacked or defensive.

5) Leading by example

One of the things that set Jesus apart was his ability to lead by example. He didn’t just preach about love, forgiveness, and humility – he lived it.

When he washed his disciples’ feet, a task usually reserved for the lowest of servants, he demonstrated humility and servitude. This action spoke louder than any words could.

Psychology tells us that people are more likely to follow actions than words. This concept, known as observational learning, was developed by psychologist Albert Bandura. He found that people learn and emulate behaviors by watching others.

6) Showing unconditional love

When we think about Jesus’ approach to conflict, one thing that stands out is his unwavering, unconditional love. Even in the midst of disagreements and disputes, his love for others was never in question.

There’s a profound story where Jesus encounters a woman caught in adultery. Despite the crowd’s call for punishment, Jesus responds with compassion and love. This act of unconditional love not only diffuses the tense situation but also transforms the woman’s life.

So, while it might feel challenging to show love in the face of conflict, it can be a powerful tool for resolution.

7) Practicing patience

Patience, they say, is a virtue. And I can attest to that.

When I was younger, I had a short fuse. I’d react quickly, often without thinking. But as I’ve grown and learned from Jesus’ teachings, I’ve come to realize the power of patience in conflict resolution.

There’s this one time when Jesus was being tested by the Pharisees and the Sadducees – they were trying to trip him up with tricky questions. But he remained patient, even in the face of provocation.

Research has shown that patience allows us to think more clearly, and respond rather than react, and ultimately leads to better conflict resolution.

Even though it’s easier said than done, practicing patience in times of conflict could make all the difference. It’s something I’m still working on, but every small victory counts.

8) Embracing silence

Jesus didn’t always feel the need to fill the silence. He knew when to speak and when to let his silence do the talking.

During his trial before Pilate, he largely remained silent, allowing Pilate to reflect on his own actions and decisions.

Silence gives people time to process their thoughts and feelings. It can also shift the dynamics of a conversation, often leading to a resolution.

So, the next time you find yourself in a conflict, don’t be afraid of silence. It might just be the space needed for resolution and understanding.

9) Prioritizing peace

Above all, Jesus prioritized peace. He was known as the Prince of Peace for a reason. He taught and advocated for peace in all circumstances, even in the face of conflict.

The Sermon on the Mount is a prime example. Here, Jesus urged his followers to be peacemakers and promised that they would be called children of God.

So remember, in any conflict situation, strive to be a peacemaker. It’s not just about winning arguments or being right – it’s about restoring harmony and fostering understanding.

Final reflection

We may not turn water into wine or walk on water, but with these strategies in our arsenal, we might just be able to bring about small transformations in our own corners of the world.

After all, isn’t that what it’s all about?