7 things a manipulative narcissist will do when they sense emotional weakness in a person

If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist, you know they have a knack for exploiting emotional vulnerability.

Narcissists have a way of sensing emotional vulnerability like sharks sense blood in the water. The moment they pick up on insecurity, doubt, or emotional fatigue, they see an opportunity to gain control.

And if you’re not aware of their tactics, you might not even realize it’s happening until you’re already entangled in their web.

Here’s the hard truth: manipulative narcissists thrive on power and control. To them, emotional weakness isn’t something to offer support or compassion for — it’s something to exploit.

But the more you understand their behavior, the harder it becomes for them to get away with it.

That’s why we’re unpacking seven of the most common tactics narcissists use when they spot emotional weakness in someone.

The goal here isn’t to scare you — it’s to empower you. When you know what to look for, you can spot the red flags early, set boundaries, and protect your peace of mind.

Let’s dive in. 

1) Exploiting your insecurities

First up, a manipulative narcissist thrives on finding your emotional weak points. Once they sense an insecurity, they may use it as a tool for manipulation.

For example, if you’re sensitive about your weight, they might drop subtle hints about dieting or exercise, making you feel self-conscious.

Their aim isn’t to help you improve, but to make you feel inadequate or less than. This is a classic narcissistic tactic to gain control and assert dominance in the relationship.

You may find yourself questioning your worth and doubting your self-perception, which is exactly what the narcissist wants.

By making you feel inferior, they elevate their own status, feeding their need for power and control.

Remember, it’s not about you, it’s about their deep-rooted insecurities and need for validation. Recognizing this manipulation for what it is can be a powerful step in regaining control.

2) Showering you with compliments

Surprisingly, a manipulative narcissist might shower you with compliments when they sense your emotional vulnerability.

This isn’t because they genuinely appreciate you, though. It’s a calculated move to make you dependent on their validation and approval.

They might praise your looks, intelligence, or achievements, making you feel special and valued.

But the moment they sense that you’re gaining confidence or becoming less reliant on their approval, they’ll withdraw their praise or even start criticizing you.

That way, they keep you off balance and unsure of yourself. You may find yourself working harder to regain their approval, not realizing it’s a manipulative cycle designed to keep you under their control.

As twisted as it sounds, the compliments are just another tool for manipulation. Understanding this dynamic can help break the cycle and regain your self-esteem.

3) Playing the victim

Make no mistake — manipulative narcissists are skilled at turning the tables.

When they sense emotional vulnerability, they may start to portray themselves as the victim.

This is because people are naturally inclined to sympathize with and try to help those who seem to be in distress.

So, if you confront them about their behavior, they might respond with stories about their difficult past or current struggles.

They use these stories to divert attention from their actions and make you feel guilty for criticizing them.

By playing the victim, they not only evade responsibility for their actions but also manipulate you into feeling sorry for them.

This typically results in you backing down, apologizing, or even comforting them – effectively letting them off the hook for their manipulative behavior.

4) Turning your loved ones against you

When a narcissist senses emotional weakness in someone, one of their most devious tactics is turning that person’s loved ones against them.

Why? Because isolation makes you easier to control.

If they can create tension between you and your friends, family, or support system, you’re left feeling alone, vulnerable, and more dependent on them. This is a classic power play rooted in control and manipulation.

They’ll often do this in subtle, sneaky ways.

It might start with offhand comments like, “I’m worried about them — they’ve been so unpredictable lately,” or “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but they’ve been really moody and hard to deal with.”

The goal is to plant doubt in the minds of the people you trust. Over time, those seeds of doubt grow into full-blown distrust.

Suddenly, the people who were once your biggest supporters are questioning you instead. And since the narcissist frames it as “concern,” it doesn’t even seem like they’re being malicious — but make no mistake, it’s intentional.

The best way to protect yourself is to maintain clear, honest communication with your loved ones. Talk to them directly before the narcissist has a chance to twist the narrative. 

It’s also essential to set boundaries with the narcissist. The less access they have to your personal life, the fewer opportunities they have to weaponize your relationships.

5) Changing the rules constantly

Does it ever feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Like no matter what you do, it’s never quite right? That’s a common experience when dealing with a manipulative narcissist.

They have a knack for changing the rules of engagement on a whim. One day, they might appreciate your independence; the next, they might accuse you of ignoring them.

It seems like the goalposts are always shifting, and it’s impossible to predict what will please them.

This unpredictability keeps you in a state of constant stress, trying to figure out what they want and how you can avoid causing upset. It’s exhausting and can make you second-guess your every action.

6) Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a prominent tactic used by manipulative narcissists. This psychological manipulation technique involves making you question your reality or sanity.

For example, imagine you’re certain that they promised to help you with a project, but when the time comes, they deny ever making such a promise.

They might even suggest that you’re making things up or that your memory is faulty.

This constant denial and questioning can make you doubt your own recollections and perceptions, leaving you feeling confused and insecure.

Gaslighting is a powerful tool in the narcissist’s arsenal, as it erodes your confidence in your own experiences, ultimately giving them more control.

Don’t fall for it — trusting in your own experiences and perceptions is key to resisting this form of manipulation.

7) Ignoring your boundaries

Here’s the hard truth: manipulative narcissists have no respect for your boundaries. They see your emotional, physical, or even digital boundaries as challenges to overcome, not lines to respect.

If you tell them that you need some space, they might invade it even more. If you ask them not to touch your personal belongings, they might deliberately do so just to provoke a reaction.

This disregard for your boundaries isn’t about their lack of understanding or forgetfulness. It’s a purposeful strategy to undermine your autonomy and keep you in a submissive position.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that you’re asking too much or being unreasonable. Your boundaries are valid and should be respected. Stand firm, and don’t let anyone make you believe otherwise.

Trusting yourself is key

In dealing with a manipulative narcissist, the most critical thing to remember is to trust yourself and your experiences. Their tactics are designed to make you doubt your perceptions, feelings, and even your sanity.

Remember that it’s not about you, but about their need for control and validation. Don’t let their manipulation cloud your judgement or shatter your self-esteem.

Trust in your experiences, maintain your boundaries, and never forget that you have the right to be treated with respect.

Navigating a relationship with a manipulative narcissist can be challenging, but understanding their tactics goes a long way in protecting yourself and reclaiming your power.