Standing up to a narcissist can feel like a major step toward reclaiming your power, but it often comes with a wave of reactions you may not expect.
Narcissists aren’t used to being challenged, and when someone finally sets boundaries or speaks up, they tend to respond in ways that are, well, all too predictable.
According to psychology, narcissists have certain tactics they use to regain control and keep their sense of superiority.
If you’ve recently decided to stand your ground, here are seven common reactions you might encounter—and knowing them can help you stay firm and prepared for whatever comes your way:
1) They gaslight you
Gaslighting is a common tactic used by narcissists to manipulate and control their victims.
As a psychologist, I’ve seen this tactic employed time and time again.
It’s a psychological technique where the narcissist will distort the reality to make you doubt your own experiences or sanity.
The name “gaslighting” originates from a 1944 film called “Gaslight” where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane—it’s a classic example of what happens when a narcissist feels threatened.
When you stand up to a narcissist, they may start questioning your memory, perception, and even sanity.
They will twist facts, deny things they’ve said or done, and shift the blame onto you.
It’s their way of maintaining control and deflecting attention away from their behavior.
But recognizing it for what it is can help you combat this manipulative strategy.
Stay grounded in your experiences and trust your instincts.
2) They play the victim
Another common tactic narcissists use when confronted is to shift the narrative and portray themselves as the victim.
I’ve personally seen this happen in therapy sessions.
For instance, I once had a client who finally gathered the courage to confront her narcissistic partner.
Instead of acknowledging his behavior, he twisted the situation to make himself appear as the victim.
He claimed he was being unfairly attacked and misunderstood.
This tactic is designed to make you feel guilty or even sympathetic, which can be very effective if you are not prepared for it.
When this happens, it’s vital to maintain perspective and not let their victim-playing distort your reality.
3) They use explosive anger
When you stand up to a narcissist, they may resort to explosive anger as a form of intimidation.
This sudden shift in behavior can be extremely shocking and unsettling.
This explosive outburst, also called ‘narcissistic rage‘, is designed to make you back down or apologize, once again putting the narcissist back in control.
Being aware of this tactic can help you stand firm and not be swayed by their emotional outbursts.
4) They give you the silent treatment
When confronted, some narcissists might shift gears entirely and resort to giving you the silent treatment.
It’s their way of punishing you for daring to stand up to them.
In a way, this is the silent version of narcissistic rage.
And though it may not be explosive, it’s still incredibly hurtful.
The narcissist uses silence as a weapon to make you feel dismissed, invalidated, and powerless.
In their minds, ignoring you is their way of showing that they are superior and in control.
It’s crucial not to let this form of manipulation intimidate you or make you feel guilty for asserting your rights.
5) They project their insecurities
Projection is a defense mechanism that narcissists often use when they’re being confronted.
They’ll attribute their own negative traits or behaviors onto you, to deflect the attention away from themselves.
I remember a time when I challenged a narcissistic friend about his constant need to dominate conversations.
Instead of addressing the issue, he turned it around and accused me of being jealous and insecure.
It took me a while to realize that he was simply projecting his insecurities onto me.
By recognizing this tactic, you can prevent yourself from getting lost in their distortions and maintain your focus on the issues at hand.
6) They threaten or intimidate you
In an attempt to regain control, a narcissist may resort to threats or intimidation when you stand up for yourself.
This could range from subtle threats to overt intimidation designed to make you feel insecure or afraid.
This is another manipulation tactic aimed at making you back down and relinquish your power.
But remember, you have the right to express your feelings and set boundaries without fear of retribution.
Knowing this behavior for what it is can help you prepare for it and respond in a way that maintains your self-respect and dignity.
7) They attempt to discredit you
When all else fails, a narcissist may try to discredit or smear your reputation.
They might spread false information or exaggerated stories about you to others, aiming to undermine your credibility and isolate you from support systems.
This is known as ‘triangulation‘, and is one of the sneakiest tactics a narcissist can use.
If the manipulative narcissist manages to turn other people against you, try not to second-guess yourself.
You know the truth, and you’re not obligated to put up with their terrible behavior.
After all, your worth is not determined by their lies or manipulations.
Stay grounded in your truth and surround yourself with people who value and support you.
Final thoughts
Standing up to a narcissist can be challenging, especially when they react with the usual manipulative tactics.
But remember, their response is more about their need for control than anything you’ve done wrong.
Setting boundaries and standing up for yourself is a sign of strength, and it’s a step toward protecting your well-being.
While their reactions may be difficult to deal with, staying firm in your boundaries shows them—and yourself—that you won’t allow anyone to undermine your self-respect.
Keep focusing on your own growth, and remember that true empowerment means refusing to let anyone’s manipulation define your path forward.
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