10 things you should never reveal about yourself to others, according to psychology

I’ve often caught myself wondering if I’m sharing too much or holding back too little.

It’s a tricky balance, one I’ve learned to navigate over time. There are moments when opening up feels right, but then there are those times when it just doesn’t.

You should keep a little something for yourself—something precious. So, let’s talk about the things we might want to keep tucked away, just because we’re actively choosing who truly gets to see us.

1) Your deepest secrets

Sharing our deepest secrets is a double-edged sword.

According to research, it can build trust and intimacy in a relationship, which is a positive effect of sharing your secrets. On the other hand, it can also make you vulnerable and open to betrayal or judgment.

The reality is, not everyone needs to know your deepest, darkest secrets. It’s wise to consider who you’re sharing with and whether they’ve earned your trust.

Before you share something really personal, I want you to think: once a secret is out, there’s no taking it back. The impact of oversharing can be far-reaching and sometimes, quite damaging.

Before you spill your deepest secrets, make sure to evaluate who’s on the receiving end. It could save you a lot of heartache in the long run.

2) Your past resentments

We all carry some baggage from our past – bitter memories or resentments that have shaped us in one way or the other.

But here’s a lesson I learned the hard way: Not everyone needs to hear about your past resentments.

I remember once sharing a past grudge with a new friend, thinking it would bring us closer. Instead, it changed the dynamic of our relationship.

They began to see me as someone who held onto negativity, even though I’d moved on from that part of my life.

Tread carefully when revealing past resentments. They can paint an unflattering picture of you, and may even affect how others perceive you.

3) Your financial status

Money is a touchy subject, and for good reason. Disclosing your financial status can lead to all sorts of complications, from envy and resentment to expectations and unnecessary judgments.

Revealing your financial worth can significantly change how others perceive and interact with you. It can create a power dynamic that impacts relationships, often negatively.

Moreover, your financial status doesn’t define your worth as an individual. It’s a number that fluctuates and changes over time.

Better to keep your financial status to yourself and let people know you for who you truly are, not what you have in the bank.

4) Your personal life details

In today’s social media-driven world, it’s easy to fall into the habit of sharing every detail of our lives. However, this approach might not always be the healthiest.

Oversharing can expose you to judgment, criticism, and even manipulation. It may also lead to comparisons with others, which can negatively impact your self-esteem.

Research has shown that anxiety, a need for attention, and social media addiction are closely linked to excessive online sharing.

So, if you find yourself posting every little event in your life, take a moment to reflect—could this be your anxiety talking?

Remember, your personal life is meant to be personal. Keeping some things to yourself doesn’t mean you’re being secretive; it means you’re protecting your peace and privacy.

5) Your fears and insecurities

We all have fears and insecurities. They’re part of being human. But sharing these sensitive aspects of ourselves can sometimes put us in a vulnerable position.

While it’s healthy to talk about our emotions and struggles, we should be careful about who we open up to. Not everyone will understand or respect our vulnerabilities.

And unfortunately, some people may even use these fears and insecurities against us. So it’s wise to tread lightly when revealing these personal aspects of ourselves to others.

6) Your family issues

Family issues are deeply personal and often emotionally charged. Revealing them can not only put you in a vulnerable position but also inadvertently involve others in your family drama.

Sharing these issues can sometimes feel like a relief, a burden shared. But as I mentioned earlier, once shared, it’s out in the open, often beyond your control.

Discussing family issues should be done with care and discretion. Be mindful about respecting your family’s privacy as well as your own emotional wellbeing.

Some things are best dealt with within the family, or with the help of professionals. 

7) Your regrets

We all have moments in our lives that we wish we could change. Decisions we regret, opportunities we missed, paths not taken.

I remember a time when I shared a deep regret of mine with a colleague. I thought it was a bonding moment, but it ended up becoming office gossip. It taught me that it’s not always wise to share your regrets with others.

Regrets are personal lessons, and while it can be therapeutic to talk about them, discretion is key. Not everyone needs to know what you wish you’d done differently.

Your past mistakes don’t define you, how you grow from them does.

8) Your good deeds

Doing good deeds is a wonderful thing. It’s a reflection of your character and your values. But advertising these deeds to others can sometimes come off as self-serving or boastful.

Humility is a revered trait. People respect those who do good without the need for recognition or praise.

So, the next time you do something good, consider keeping it to yourself. Your actions speak volumes about who you are, and true goodness doesn’t need an audience.

It’s a quiet satisfaction that resonates in your heart, not in the words of others.

9) Your ambitious plans

Having big dreams and ambitious plans is exciting. It’s a reflection of your aspirations and your motivation.

However, revealing these plans prematurely to others can sometimes backfire. Not everyone will understand or support your vision, and negative feedback can be discouraging.

Moreover, psychology suggests that talking about your goals can create a premature sense of accomplishment, reducing your motivation to actually achieve them.

So, hold your ambitious plans close to your heart until they’re ready to see the light of day. Let your success make the noise.

10) Your personal boundaries

Personal boundaries are crucial for our mental and emotional well-being. They define where we draw the line in our interactions with others.

However, psychology suggests that explicitly revealing your personal boundaries can sometimes lead to them being tested or disrespected.

Instead, assert them through your actions. Show people how you expect to be treated by how you treat yourself and others.

Your personal boundaries should be respected, not contested. And the best way to ensure this is by demonstrating them, not just declaring them.

Final thoughts: Choose a different path

There’s power in holding on to the parts of ourselves that not everyone gets to know.

We’re bombarded by social media posts of every small update in our friends’ lives, and I feel like it’s almost expected of us to share just as much as everyone else.

However, in this world that seems to demand every detail, maybe it’s okay to keep a few for ourselves.

So, the next time you’re about to spill something personal, ask yourself: is this worth sharing, or is it worth holding on to? Sometimes, the choice to stay silent plays in your favor.