8 things you’re doing that make people instantly dislike you

Let’s be real—everyone wants to be liked.

But sometimes, without even meaning to, we might do things that turn people off. These little habits might seem harmless, but they can leave a bad impression pretty quickly.

I’ve been there myself, realizing only after the fact that I might’ve rubbed someone the wrong way.

So, in this piece, let’s shine a light on a few behaviors that could be doing more harm than good. We’ll look at eight common things that might be making people instantly dislike you.

1) Dominating the conversation

We all love a good chat, but it’s important to know the difference between being talkative and dominating the conversation.

When you’re the only one speaking, it can make others feel like their opinions don’t matter. Conversation is a two-way street.

There’s power in listening. It shows respect and a genuine interest in what the other person has to say. Plus, you might learn something new!

The next time you find yourself doing all the talking, hit the brakes. Ask questions, engage with what’s being said, and give others a chance to speak.

2) Not respecting personal space

We all have our comfort zones, and for most of us, that includes a healthy respect for personal space.

I remember a time when I was at a social gathering. A guy I’d just met kept standing uncomfortably close to me. Despite my subtle attempts to create some distance, he seemed oblivious to my discomfort.

His disregard for my personal space made me feel uneasy and, honestly, a bit annoyed. It’s a lesson in how seemingly small actions can have a big impact on how we’re perceived by others.

Be mindful of other people’s personal space. If you’re unsure, take a step back. It’s always better to err on the side of caution.

3) Being too negative

We all have our bad days, but constantly radiating negativity can quickly become a turn-off.

This isn’t just a matter of mood—it’s rooted in a psychological phenomenon known as Negativity Bias Theory. According to this theory, our brains are wired to react more strongly to negative stimuli, which is a survival mechanism from our evolutionary past. This means that negative events, comments, or attitudes tend to have a larger impact on our mood and perceptions than positive ones.

So, if you’re always complaining or focusing on the downside of things, people might start to associate these negative feelings with you. Try to cultivate a more positive outlook. Even during challenging times, finding a silver lining or expressing gratitude can make a significant difference in how others perceive you.

4) Not making eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful communication tool. It shows that you’re engaged, attentive, and respectful. When you avoid eye contact, it can send a message that you’re uninterested or untrustworthy.

A study on interpersonal gaze processing eye contact helps people understand each other during live conversations. The study suggests that how we manage eye contact can influence social interactions, with too much or too little potentially affecting the way we are perceived.

Of course, there’s a balance—staring can be just as off-putting as avoiding eye contact. So the key is to maintain a comfortable level of eye contact that shows you’re actively participating in the conversation.

The next time you’re in a discussion, make a conscious effort to hold eye contact. You might be surprised at the difference it makes!

5) Being dismissive of others’ feelings

Everybody wants to feel heard and understood. When we dismiss other people’s feelings, it can make them feel unimportant and insignificant.

For instance, when someone shares their issues or concerns with you, responding with a casual “you’re overreacting” or “it’s not a big deal” can be pretty hurtful. It’s like saying their emotions aren’t valid or worth your time.

Instead, try to be empathetic and understanding. Show that you appreciate their perspective, even if you don’t fully understand or agree with it.

Acknowledging someone’s feelings doesn’t mean you have to solve their problems. Sometimes, just being there and offering a listening ear can make a world of difference.

6) Breaking promises

Trust is fragile. Once broken, it can be incredibly hard to rebuild. One surefire way to damage trust is by breaking promises.

I recall a time when I made a promise to a friend to help her move. But, when the day came, I got caught up with work and bailed at the last minute. She was understanding, but I could tell she was disappointed.

It was a wake-up call for me. It taught me that if I make a commitment, I need to follow through, no matter how small it may seem.

So, think twice before making promises. If you’re unsure whether you can keep them, it’s better to be upfront about it. It’s way more respectful to say no initially than to let someone down later on.

7) Constantly checking your phone

In today’s digital age, our phones have become extensions of ourselves. But being glued to your screen, especially when you’re in the company of others, can send the wrong message.

It’s like saying that whatever is happening on your phone is more important than the person right in front of you. This can make them feel unappreciated and ignored.

Next time you’re with someone, whether it’s a casual hangout or a formal meeting, make a conscious effort to put your phone away. Show them that they have your undivided attention. Trust me, your emails and social media updates can wait.

8) Not being genuine

Nothing beats authenticity. Trying to be someone you’re not is exhausting and people can usually see right through it.

Being genuine means showing up as your true self, flaws and all. It means being honest, even when it’s uncomfortable. It means celebrating your strengths, acknowledging your weaknesses, and being okay with both.

People are drawn to authenticity. They appreciate when others are real with them. So, don’t be afraid to be yourself. Because you’re enough just as you are.

The real takeaway

Building and maintaining relationships can be tricky. But one thing I’ve learned is that people remember how you make them feel more than anything else.

It’s easy to overlook how our actions come across, especially when life gets busy. But if we take a step back and pay a little more attention to how we interact, it can make a world of difference. Whether it’s keeping promises, putting the phone down, or just being genuinely ourselves, these small changes can help us connect better with those around us.

As Maya Angelou said, people might forget your words or actions but always remember how you made them feel. So, how are you making others feel? That’s the real question we should be asking ourselves every day.