7 toxic relationship behaviors you should definitely stop normalizing, according to psychology

If you’ve ever found yourself in a relationship where things seem off, you’re not alone. Sometimes, we normalize behaviors that are actually quite toxic.

This often happens because we get used to certain patterns or don’t recognize the signs of toxicity in our relationships. But let’s be clear – these toxic behaviors aren’t your fault, nor should they be accepted as normal.

Understanding what these behaviors are can help us stop normalizing them and pave the way for healthier relationships. It’s not always easy to identify these behaviors, especially when you’re in the thick of things.

Let’s break it down together, so you’ll know what to look out for and stop accepting as just another part of your relationship.

Here, we’ll explore 7 toxic relationship behaviors you should definitely stop normalizing, according to psychology.

1) Consistent criticism

When you’re constantly on the receiving end of criticism, it’s easy to start thinking that it’s normal. But let me tell you – it’s not.

Constant criticism is perhaps the most common toxic relationship behaviors out there.

It’s so damaging that it can slowly eat away at your self-esteem, making you feel like you’re never good enough.

As the Gottman Institute puts it, “Criticism can have devastating effects because it makes the victim feel assaulted, rejected, and hurt.” 

It might start off subtly. Your partner might comment on how you dress, or how you’ve prepared a meal. Over time, these comments might become more frequent or more personal.

This kind of behavior can be incredibly damaging and is actually a form of emotional abuse. So don’t take it sitting down — everyone has the right to be respected and valued in a relationship.

So, if your partner consistently criticizes you, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate. Talk to them about how their comments make you feel.

If they’re unwilling to change, it might be time to consider whether this relationship is truly serving your best interests. Nobody deserves to be constantly belittled or made to feel less than they are.

2) Lack of personal space

When you’re in a relationship, spending a lot of time together can seem like a sign of love and commitment.

The thing is — and this is something so many couples forget — maintaining personal space is equally crucial.

Always being together, constantly checking in on each other, or not having any activities or friendships outside the relationship can actually be signs of toxicity.

This kind of behavior can lead to co-dependency and limit your personal growth.

Every individual needs time and space to pursue their interests, hobbies, or simply unwind. A healthy relationship respects these boundaries and understands the importance of individuality.

If you find yourself losing your sense of self or feel like you’re living in your partner’s shadow, don’t be afraid to address the lack of personal space in your relationship.

Start by communicating your need for personal space and setting boundaries that ensure you both have the freedom to be individuals, as well as partners.

3) Avoiding conflict

While it might seem like always agreeing with your partner or dodging disagreements is the path to a peaceful relationship, it’s actually quite the opposite.

Silencing your opinions or concerns just to avoid conflict can lead to resentment over time. It’s healthy and normal for couples to have disagreements – it’s how you handle them that matters.

According to psychologists, constructive conflict can actually strengthen a relationship as it allows both partners to express their thoughts and feelings, enabling them to understand each other better.

Don’t be afraid of expressing your thoughts or standing up for yourself when you disagree with something. Open and honest communication is key in any relationship. 

4) Ignoring your feelings

This is closely connected to the previous point. Often in our desire to keep the peace, we brush our own feelings under the rug. I’ve certainly done this myself in the past. 

But here’s what I’ve learned since then — our feelings matter. Every single one of them, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem.

If you’re upset, it’s okay to express it. If something your partner does makes you uncomfortable, it’s important to let them know.

You’re not overreacting or being ‘too sensitive’. Your emotions are valid and they should be acknowledged, not dismissed or minimized.

Communication is a two-way street. If you find that your feelings are constantly being sidelined in your relationship, maybe it’s time for a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner about how this is affecting you. 

5) Making excuses for your partner

We’ve all done it. Your partner does something that hurts you, and you find yourself making excuses for them.

“They’re just stressed out.”

“They didn’t mean it.” 

“They’ve been through a lot.”

Does that sound familiar to you? Well, it might be time to stop normalizing this.

While empathy is crucial in a relationship, there’s a fine line between understanding and enabling.

Brushing off bad behavior or constantly justifying your partner’s actions can create an unhealthy dynamic. It can lead to you tolerating behaviors that you shouldn’t have to, such as disrespect, neglect, or even abuse.

It’s important to hold your partner accountable for their actions. If they’ve done something wrong, it’s okay to confront them about it and expect an apology.

You’re not being unreasonable or demanding – you’re simply standing up for yourself. 

6) Keeping score

I remember a time when I was in a relationship where everything was a competition.

If one person did the dishes, the other had to take out the trash.

If one person paid for dinner, the other had to cover the next meal.

It was a constant game of tit for tat.

Of course, it’s important to maintain balance and fairness in a relationship. But it’s definitely not okay to keep score.

It can breed resentment and turns the relationship into a transactional arrangement, rather than one based on love and understanding.

In a healthy relationship, you shouldn’t feel obligated to immediately ‘repay’ your partner for every kind gesture or feel like you’re always in debt if they do something nice for you.

Love isn’t about checks and balances, it’s about supporting each other without keeping tabs.

7) Settling for less than you deserve

Finally — and this one might be a hard pill to swallow — if you’re constantly unhappy in your relationship, feeling unappreciated or taken for granted, it’s time to face the music.

You might be settling for less than you deserve. And that’s definitely something you shouldn’t ever normalize. 

What should be? Waiting until you find a partner who:

• Treats you with respect
• Values your opinion
• Listens when you speak
• Loves you for who you are

And no, these aren’t even unrealistic expectations. These are the bare minimums.

So, if your relationship is making you feel anything less than loved and respected, it’s time to seriously evaluate why you’re allowing it.

You deserve a healthy relationship that brings you joy and fulfillment, not one that depletes you. Your value isn’t defined by anyone else but yourself. Never settle for less.

Final thoughts

At the end of the day, relationships are about love, respect, and mutual growth. Of course, nobody is perfect and every relationship has its ups and downs.

But when the downs start outweighing the ups, that’s when it’s time to take a step back and reassess.

Above all, remember that you are worthy of a relationship that brings you joy, respect, and love. Don’t normalize toxic behaviors, don’t settle for less, and most importantly, don’t forget to love yourself first.

A healthy relationship should complement your life, not complicate it. Trust your instincts, set boundaries when needed, and prioritize your emotional well-being.

Ultimately, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one with yourself, and from that foundation, all others can flourish.