6 traits of people who grew up with lazy and indifferent parents, according to psychology

Our childhood experiences shape who we are, often in ways we don’t fully realize. For those raised by lazy or indifferent parents, the impact can be profound.

According to psychologists, certain traits—like heightened self-reliance or difficulty trusting others—often emerge as coping mechanisms.

These characteristics provide a window into how early neglect molds adult behavior, so let’s explore these traits further and shed some light on how they shape our lives.

1) Struggle with self-worth

Growing up with indifferent or lazy parents can significantly impact a person’s sense of self-worth.

Children look to their parents for validation and affirmation, and when this is lacking, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

For instance, if you were raised by parents who rarely showed interest in your achievements or didn’t provide you the necessary support to pursue your interests, you might have internalized this indifference as a reflection of your worth.

This could lead to a persistent belief that you aren’t good enough or that your needs are unimportant.

Recognizing this pattern is the first step towards breaking free from it. You’re not inadequate or unimportant – your upbringing may have led you to believe so.

Your past doesn’t define you; it shapes you and understanding it can guide your path forward.

2) Highly driven and overachieving

While you might expect children of lazy or indifferent parents to follow in their footsteps, often, the exact opposite occurs. These people can develop a strong drive to succeed and become high achievers.

The lack of attention from parents can sometimes fuel a need to excel, as a way to gain recognition or validation.

The constant striving for achievement becomes a coping mechanism, a way of proving their worth to themselves and others.

This trait might seem like a positive outcome, but being overly driven can have its downsides too. It can lead to burnout, stress, and an inability to appreciate their own achievements due to an insatiable quest for perfection.

It’s vital to remember that while ambition is commendable, it’s equally important to maintain balance and take care of your mental and emotional wellbeing.

Success isn’t just about professional or academic accolades; it’s also about personal growth, happiness, and maintaining healthy relationships.

3) Difficulty forming and maintaining relationships

Relationships can be a complex terrain for those who grew up with lazy or indifferent parents. The early bond or lack thereof, between a child and their parents sets the blueprint for future relationships.

A child’s first understanding of love, care, and connection comes from their interaction with their parents.

When this interaction is marked by indifference, it can create an unconscious expectation that other relationships will follow the same pattern.

The result? A tendency to struggle with forming close bonds or keeping them intact.

They might experience an underlying fear of being emotionally abandoned, mirroring their early experiences with their parents.

This fear can manifest as anxiety, insecurity, or the tendency to push people away before they get too close.

With awareness and effort, these patterns can be addressed and changed over time.

Building trust in relationships, like any skill, can be learned and improved upon with practice and patience.

4) An inherent desire to care for others

If you grew up with indifferent or lazy parents, you might find yourself with a strong inclination to care for others.

A trait that often springs from the desire to provide others with the care and attention that was lacking in your own upbringing.

You’re drawn to people who need help or support, exhibiting a natural instinct to nurture and assist.

Your experiences have equipped you with an extraordinary sense of empathy and understanding, allowing you to connect with others on a deeper level.

This is a beautiful quality that speaks volumes about your strength and resilience. Still, it’s easy to get so caught up in taking care of others that you forget to take care of yourself.

So, while you extend your kindness and compassion outward, remember to direct some of it inward too. You’re just as deserving of care and attention, and it’s perfectly okay to prioritize your wellbeing.

5) A penchant for independence

Have you ever felt like you can manage everything on your own and shied away from asking for help even when you needed it?

This trait is commonly found in individuals who’ve grown up with indifferent or lazy parents.

From an early age, you have learned to rely on yourself, be it big decisions or small everyday tasks. The need to be self-sufficient can stem from the uncertainty or inconsistency of parental support during your formative years.

While independence is certainly a strength and can help you navigate many of life’s challenges, it’s also okay to lean on others.

Everyone needs help at times, and it doesn’t make you any less competent or independent.

Asking for support isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of human connection and trust. And that’s something we all need.

6) An appetite for control

A friend of mine, who grew up with parents who were often absent or disinterested, developed a strong need to have control over her surroundings and situations as an adult.

She would plan her days meticulously, down to the last detail, and any unexpected changes would cause her immense stress.

This need for control was her way of ensuring that she would not have to depend on others or face disappointment, similar to the experiences of her childhood.

While it gave her a sense of security and predictability, it also added unnecessary stress and left little room for spontaneity and relaxation.

And while having control over certain aspects of our lives can provide comfort, not everything is within our control.

Learning to accept this can lead to a more balanced and less stressful life, as it’s okay to let go sometimes and simply go with the flow.

Final thoughts

Understanding these traits is not about casting blame or living in the past. It’s about acknowledging your experiences, recognizing their impact, and using that understanding to foster growth and healing.

Every moment spent on self-reflection and growth is a step towards a more fulfilling life.

And remember, your intelligence and strength lie in recognizing these patterns and taking the reins of your life into your own hands. Don’t let your past dictate your future.