7 types of people to avoid, if you want to grow and mature

You’ve probably heard the saying, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

And it’s true—your relationships either lift you up or hold you back.

If you’re on a path of personal growth and maturity, the people you surround yourself with play a massive role in that journey.

While it’s important to connect with a variety of people, some personalities can seriously stunt your progress and even pull you off track.

If you’re committed to growing and becoming the best version of yourself, here are seven types of people you might want to steer clear of along the way.

1) The naysayers

It’s important to listen to constructive criticism, but constant negativity will rarely help you get where you want to be. 

Which means, you might have to let go of the Negative Nellies in your life. Or at least hang out with them less. 

You know the ones I’m talking about. The people who are perpetually negative, always ready to shoot down your ideas and dreams.

These naysayers are experts in the art of discouragement.

They seem to have a knack for highlighting the worst-case scenarios and magnifying potential challenges, while completely ignoring the potential benefits and opportunities.

According to research, this negativity can be infectious, leading you to second guess yourself and dampening your motivation and enthusiasm.

It’s tough to grow and mature when you’re constantly surrounded by this kind of energy.

So it’s often best to keep a safe distance from these naysayers if you want to continue on your path of personal growth.

2) The time-stealers

Oh boy, have I had my fair share of encounters with this type!

These are the people who, without realizing it, eat away at your precious time.

They might be fun to hang out with, but they don’t understand the concept of personal boundaries or respecting other people’s time.

I remember a friend from college, let’s call him Mike. Mike was always up for a good time – and it didn’t matter if it was a Monday night or a Thursday afternoon.

He’d constantly invite me to hang out, drop by unannounced, or insist on lengthy phone calls to discuss the latest episode of his favorite show.

At first, it was fun. Who doesn’t like to chill and watch some TV?

But slowly, I started to realize that my time with Mike was eating into the time I had set aside for studying, working on my personal projects, or even just unwinding on my own.

The lesson here? Be wary of time-stealers.

They might not have ill intentions, but their lack of respect for your time can seriously hamper your personal growth and maturity.

It’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your time for activities that contribute to your growth and well-being.

3) The comfort-zone dwellers

We all know these people. They’re the ones who are perfectly happy with the status quo and avoid challenges or changes like the plague.

Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with being comfortable.

But if you’re looking to grow and mature, surrounding yourself with comfort-zone dwellers can hinder your progress.

Why? Because growth often requires discomfort. It demands that we push ourselves, face challenges head-on, and build our resilience.

Speaking of resilience, this is something I delve into deeply in my book, “The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness”.

In it, I discuss the importance of stepping out of your comfort zone as a key step towards developing mental toughness.

Just like a muscle needs resistance to grow stronger, our minds need challenging situations to develop resilience and maturity.

So, if you’re serious about personal development, it might be time to reevaluate your circle.

Are they encouraging your growth, or keeping you nestled in the comfortable confines of the status quo?

The answer to this question will tell you if they deserve to stay in your life. 

4) The overachievers

Now, this one might seem a bit surprising.

After all, aren’t overachievers the epitome of success, the ones we should be looking up to? Aren’t they better than the comfort-zone dwellers?

Well, not always.

Overachievers can often set unrealistic standards, creating an environment of constant pressure and stress.

They’re always striving for more and better, rarely pausing to enjoy their accomplishments or life in general.

While it’s important to have goals and ambition, being around overachievers can make you lose sight of your own pace and path.

It can lead to burnout, stress and a constant feeling of inadequacy.

Remember, growth and maturity aren’t just about achieving and succeeding.

It’s also about enjoying the journey, learning from failures, and finding balance in life.

So while it’s great to be inspired by others’ achievements, don’t let the overachievers make you feel like you’re not doing enough.

Your journey is unique to you, and it’s okay to take your time.

5) The one-uppers

There’s a dark side to healthy competition, and that’s where the one-uppers dwell.

No matter what you do, they always have a story or accomplishment that’s just a bit better, a bit bigger.

It can be exhausting and honestly, quite disheartening.

Once, after months of training, I ran my first marathon. It was a personal victory, a moment of triumph.

But instead of sharing in my joy, a certain friend immediately launched into a tale of their own ultra-marathon experience.

In that moment, my sense of achievement deflated like a punctured balloon.

Interactions with one-uppers often leave you feeling inadequate.

They can unknowingly chip away at your self-esteem and make you question your worth and achievements.

According to psychologist Mark Travers, “Despite initially seeming like harmless banter or playful rivalry, its underlying motivations can sow seeds of discord and resentment within relationships. The persistent need to demonstrate one’s worth or dominance can create an atmosphere of tension and mistrust, gradually corroding the foundation of mutual respect and understanding.”

Avoid these people if you can. Personal growth is about celebrating your victories, no matter how small, and learning from your failures.

Surround yourself with people who lift you up, not those who constantly try to outshine you.

6) The gossipmongers

Ah, the gossipmongers. They thrive on drama and seem to have an endless supply of stories about other people’s lives.

Engaging in gossip might seem harmless, even entertaining at times.

But it’s a toxic habit that can breed negativity and mistrust.

Gossipmongers can distract you from your own goals and growth.

Instead of focusing on improving yourself, you might find yourself caught up in other people’s business, judging them or comparing your life to theirs.

Not to mention, gossiping doesn’t contribute anything positive to your character.

It doesn’t make you more understanding, empathetic, or wise.

Avoiding gossipmongers and choosing not to engage in their stories can free up your energy and time for activities that truly contribute to your personal growth and maturity.

7) The dream-killers

These are the people who, often under the guise of ‘realism’, will dampen your dreams and aspirations.

They’ll tell you that your goals are too lofty, your plans are too big, or your dreams are simply unachievable.

But here’s the thing. Your dreams and aspirations are the fuel for your personal growth and maturity.

They push you to learn, to strive, and to step out of your comfort zone.

Don’t let anyone extinguish that flame.

If someone can’t support your dreams or at least respect them, perhaps it’s time to reconsider their place in your life.

Surround yourself with people who believe in you and inspire you to reach higher.

Because in the end, it’s your dreams that will guide you on your path to growth and maturity.

So hold on to them, no matter what anyone says.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-preservation

Whether we like it or not, the company we keep plays a significant role in shaping our mindset, influencing our behavior, and ultimately, determining our personal development.

Avoiding these seven types of people is not about being judgmental or creating an echo chamber.

It’s about self-preservation and ensuring that you’re nurturing an environment that promotes growth rather than stifling it.

In my book “The Art of Resilience: A Practical Guide to Developing Mental Toughness”, I delve deeper into the concept of self-preservation and resilience, offering practical strategies for fostering a mindset that embraces challenge and change.

Remember, your journey towards growth and maturity is exactly that – yours.

And you have every right to curate the influences in your life in a way that supports your journey, even if it means distancing yourself from certain types of people.

So as you reflect on this, consider who in your life lifts you up, challenges you positively, and respects your dreams.

Then think about who might be holding you back. The answers might just be the push you need towards a more resilient, mature you.