7 unmistakable signs you have a strong bond with your adult child, according to psychology

In a world where appearances can be deceiving and digital interactions often overshadow real ones, it’s crucial to recognize genuine connections, especially between parents and their adult children.

While perceptions matter, what truly counts are the tangible signs of a strong, healthy relationship that benefits both you and your child.

In this article, I’ve highlighted 7 clear indicators of a strong bond with your adult child:

1) Communication is your cornerstone

Consider your interactions with your adult child right now.

The conversations flow naturally, and both of you actively listen to each other.

Your exchanges aren’t forced or filled with uncomfortable silences. While reading these words, you may have recalled a few recent discussions you’ve had with your child.

If you’re going to foster a strong bond with your adult child, it’s fundamental to recognize that effective communication is key. You’re operating on mutual respect.

It’s vital to discard the misconception that just because they’re your child, they will always understand you, even when communication is lacking. They don’t.

Your actions and words shape their perception of you, and they are most impactful when they are sincere and thoughtful. When you communicate effectively.

If you can stop relying on assumptions and start creating an environment of open dialogue in your relationship, the strength of your bond will become apparent in the way you interact with each other.

2) Independence isn’t a sign of distance

This revelation came to me while studying various psychological theories on parent-adult child relationships.

Often, parents misconstrue their adult child’s independence as a sign of them drifting away.

This is a common misconception. In reality, independence isn’t an indicator of a weakened bond.

Instead, true connection comes from appreciating your adult child’s autonomy.

It comes from understanding that their independence is a testament to your successful parenting.

When you try to “hold onto” your child all the time, you give too much power to your fears.

You give up your instinctive power.

Now, I give less power to my fears. Sometimes I feel nervous about my child’s decisions.

Other times I’m anxious about their well-being. I don’t worry about this anymore.

3) Mutual respect is non-negotiable

This was a challenging one for me to realize.

“Serving as a parent” came from the belief that my role was to guide and direct my adult child’s life.

However, the truth is that my role now is more about offering support and respect, rather than shaping their decisions.

Let me clarify.

Think about your relationship with your adult child right now. You voice your opinions, but so do they.

You make your own decisions, and they do too. While reading these words, you’ve likely pondered the last few interactions you’ve had with your child.

If you’re going to nurture a strong bond with your adult child, it’s critical to accept that mutual respect is non-negotiable.

You’re interacting as equals.

It’s crucial to let go of the parental control that comes from believing you always know what’s best for your child. You don’t.

Your adult child is capable of making their own decisions, and they are most effective when made without unsolicited advice. When they act independently.

If you can stop relying on your parental instincts to protect and start creating an environment of mutual respect in your relationship, the depth of your bond will become evident in how you communicate with each other.

4) Acceptance is a testament of love

I began this piece by focusing on communication and independence.

Interestingly, these aspects also contribute to how we accept our adult children.

In my experience, I’ve noticed that as a parent, I sometimes get too invested in my child’s choices.

I become overly concerned with their career path or personal life.

My intentions are good. I want my child to succeed and be happy.

But when I get so invested, I can slip into the habit of thinking my wisdom is more important than my child’s desires.

I can lose touch with their feelings. I become overly critical and am probably not such an understanding person to be around.

If I judged myself for my intentions, I wouldn’t question my behavior.

Instead, because I don’t focus solely on my intentions, I am more able to reflect on my actions and change how I behave.

I am learning to step back and accept the decisions my child makes.

How you accept your adult child’s choices is what matters, not the intentions that drive your behavior.

5) You share a unique bond of trust

This was a personal epiphany for me.

About a year ago, my adult daughter was facing a critical decision in her life.

She had to choose between pursuing her dream job and settling for a secure, well-paying position.

I watched her grapple with the decision, torn between following her passion and choosing financial stability.

My instincts as a parent screamed at me to tell her to choose the safe option, the secure job. But I held back. I remembered that she was an adult capable of making her own decisions.

One evening, she came to me and shared her fears and dilemmas.

Instead of offering advice, I simply listened. I told her that I trusted in her ability to make the right decision for herself.

A week later, she decided to go after her dream job.

She thanked me for my support and for trusting her, saying it gave her the courage to take the leap.

That’s when I realized how powerful trust could be in strengthening our bond.

It wasn’t about guiding every step of her life anymore; it was about trusting her judgement and supporting her decisions.

This trust didn’t just make our relationship stronger; it made us both grow as individuals.

6) Shared laughter strengthens bonds

The power of laughter is a universally acknowledged truth in the realm of psychology.

It has been scientifically proven that shared laughter can create a stronger bond between individuals, reducing stress and fostering a sense of camaraderie.

Here’s the essential point:

This understanding encourages us to not underestimate the moments of shared humor with our adult children.

It could be a private joke, a funny past incident, or just enjoying a comedy show together.

For those feeling a distance growing with their adult children, initiating moments of shared laughter can bridge that gap.

It’s a reminder that you are not just parent and child, but also friends who enjoy each other’s company.

Fostering shared laughter with your adult child not only lightens the atmosphere but also strengthens the emotional bond between you, creating memories that both of you will cherish.

7) Disagreements don’t weaken your relationship

This might seem contrary to what we believe a strong bond to look like. We often equate harmony and constant agreement with a healthy relationship.

However, in reality, the ability to have disagreements with your adult child and still maintain a strong bond indicates a mature, resilient relationship.

Here’s the critical insight:

It’s not the absence of disagreements that defines a strong bond, but the ability to navigate them.

It’s about understanding that you and your adult child are two different individuals with your own set of beliefs and perspectives.

Having disagreements doesn’t imply that your relationship is on shaky ground.

Instead, how you handle these disagreements – with respect, open communication, and understanding – truly reflects the strength of your bond.

So, the next time you find yourself in a disagreement with your adult child, remember that it’s an opportunity to demonstrate respect for their views, reinforce open communication, and ultimately strengthen your bond.

Bottom line: It could be instinctual

Human relationships are deeply influenced by primal instincts, particularly the bond between parents and their adult children through kin altruism.

Kin altruism, seen in many species, is when individuals prioritize the well-being of their relatives, driven by shared genes and survival instincts.

For parents, this instinct may strengthen their connection with their adult children, bringing satisfaction and happiness when they see their children thriving independently.

As you journey through parenthood with your adult child, remember that your bond is shaped not only by experiences but also by these ancient instincts, highlighting the profound connection that makes your relationship unique.