9 ways highly anxious people self-sabotage themselves, according to psychology

Ever feel like anxiety is pulling the strings behind your every misstep, turning your best intentions into roadblocks?

Anxiety isn’t just a fleeting feeling of worry—it can manifest in subtle yet profoundly damaging ways that undermine your success and well-being.

In this article, we’ll delve into nine often-overlooked ways highly anxious people unknowingly sabotage themselves, as revealed by psychology.

These hidden self-sabotaging behaviors might be the very things holding you back from reaching your full potential.

But don’t worry; by shining a light on these patterns, you’ll gain valuable insights into how to break free from anxiety’s grip and start living a more empowered, fulfilling life.

1) Overthinking

Overthinking, a common trait of highly anxious individuals, isn’t always about pondering over life’s big questions. It’s often about getting caught up in a spiral of unfounded worries and ‘what ifs’.

You might find yourself assuming the worst-case scenario for every situation:

• A missed call becomes a sign of a tragedy
• An unread email turns into a dismissal notice
• A casual remark from a friend suddenly sounds like criticism

In essence, you’re creating problems that don’t exist, and these imagined issues start to consume you, preventing you from focusing on solutions or moving forward.

This constant self-inflicted stress can lead to exhaustion, both mentally and physically, and can strain relationships as well as hinder personal and professional growth.

2) Avoidance

Avoidance is another way that highly anxious people may unintentionally sabotage themselves. Rather than facing the source of their anxiety, they may choose to sidestep it entirely.

Let’s say you have a presentation coming up at work. The mere thought of standing in front of your colleagues and superiors fills you with dread.

So, what do you do?

You call in sick, you delegate the task, or you come up with an excuse to postpone the event.

While avoidance may provide temporary relief, it does nothing to address the underlying problem. In fact, it often exacerbates the anxiety.

Each time you avoid a situation that makes you anxious, you’re reinforcing the belief that this situation is threatening and beyond your capability to handle.

The more you avoid, the smaller your world becomes and the more control anxiety has over your life. 

3) Seeking perfection

Many highly anxious people are also perfectionists at heart. They set incredibly high standards for themselves and obsess over every detail, striving to make everything flawless.

This may sound like a good thing on the surface – after all, who doesn’t want to do their best? However, this relentless pursuit of perfection can be self-defeating.

Perfectionism often leads to procrastination. The fear of not being able to attain the high standards they’ve set can make them put off tasks indefinitely.

Even when they do complete a task, they’re rarely satisfied and always find flaws in their work, leading to constant stress and dissatisfaction.

Furthermore, by focusing on making everything perfect, they may miss out on opportunities for personal growth that come from making mistakes and learning from them.

In this way, the quest for perfection can end up being a roadblock in their journey towards achieving their goals. 

4) Self-criticism

I’ve often found myself being my own harshest critic.

It’s exhausting, really. As highly anxious people, we tend to engage in constant self-criticism. It’s like there’s this nagging voice inside our heads that just won’t let up.

We berate ourselves for every mistake, no matter how small.

We downplay our achievements and focus instead on our perceived failures. We compare ourselves to others and always find ourselves lacking.

This relentless self-criticism erodes our self-esteem and feeds into our anxiety. We’re setting ourselves up for failure before we’ve even begun.

It’s like we’re in a boxing ring, but instead of fighting our opponent, we’re busy punching ourselves.

This constant negative self-talk isn’t just harmful to our mental health, it also impacts our relationships and the opportunities we’re willing to pursue. 

5) Neglecting self-care

For those of us battling high anxiety, self-care often takes a backseat. It’s like we’re so engrossed in our worries and fears that we forget to take care of ourselves.

We might skimp on sleep, neglect exercise, or eat poorly. We may put off doctor’s appointments or ignore signs that our body is under stress. Or we might push ourselves to keep working or worrying, even when we’re mentally and physically exhausted.

It’s not that we don’t understand the importance of self-care. We do. But our anxiety can make it seem like there’s no time for it, or that we don’t deserve it.

Neglecting self-care can be a form of self-sabotage as it can exacerbate our anxiety and make it harder to cope with day-to-day life.

6) Fear of saying ‘No’

Have you ever found yourself agreeing to do something you really don’t want to, just to avoid conflict or to please others? I know I have.

Highly anxious people often struggle with the fear of saying ‘No’.

We worry about the consequences, we fear disappointing others, and we dread the possibility of conflict.

So we say ‘Yes’, even when it goes against our own interests or when it adds to our already overflowing plate.

This inability to set boundaries can lead to burnout, resentment, and increased stress. We end up overcommitting and under-delivering, which only fuels our anxiety..

7) Catastrophe forecasting

Here’s a funny thing we highly anxious folks tend to do – we become fortune tellers! Not the kind that predict lottery numbers or true love, mind you. No, we specialize in predicting doom and gloom.

This is often referred to as ‘catastrophe forecasting‘. We imagine the worst possible outcome in every situation.

Missed a bus? Obviously, it means we’re going to be late for work, lose our job, and end up living under a bridge!

This tendency to jump to the worst-case scenario can be quite exhausting. It keeps us in a constant state of worry and fear, preventing us from enjoying the present.

Recognizing this pattern and learning to challenge these negative predictions with more realistic outcomes can help bring some much-needed lightness to our lives, and break the cycle of self-sabotage.

8) Clinging to comfort zones

As highly anxious people, we often cling to our comfort zones like life rafts in a stormy sea.

In the name of staying ‘safe,’ we:

• Avoid new experiences
• Shy away from meeting new people
• Refrain from taking risks

While it’s natural to seek comfort and safety, staying stuck in our comfort zones can stagnate our personal growth. We miss out on opportunities, experiences, and relationships that could enrich our lives.

Growth happens outside of our comfort zones. So let go of that life raft and learn to swim. 

9) Ignoring the positive

Here’s the most important thing to remember: as highly anxious people, we often have a tendency to ignore the positive.

We become so focused on our worries and fears that we overlook the good things in our lives.

This negative bias can make our world seem darker and more threatening than it really is. It fuels our anxiety and keeps us stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage.

But here’s the good news: this pattern can be changed. We can learn to recognize the positive in our lives, no matter how small. We can:

• Practice gratitude
• Celebrate our achievements
• See ourselves in a more positive light

Embracing this perspective can help break the cycle of self-sabotage and open up a world of possibilities.

Reflecting and moving forward

Recognizing the hidden ways anxiety can sabotage your progress is the first step toward breaking free from its grasp.

By understanding these self-sabotaging behaviors, you can start addressing the root causes of your anxiety and implement strategies to counteract its damaging effects.

Embracing healthier coping mechanisms and seeking professional support can help you reclaim control and move towards a more fulfilling and balanced life.

Therapists and psychologists can provide tools and strategies to manage anxiety effectively, and there’s absolutely no shame in reaching out.